Super Smash Bros: The Revenge of Tabuu
by ThatMangaGirl
Summary: The Smash gang thought they were done with Tabuu after the removal of Subspace Emissary, man are they in for a surprise! Join the oldies, newbies, and their friends for a new adventure! Action! Romance! And bad decisions await!
1. A Premonition

Author note: I'd like to introduce myself, Hello~ I'm ThatMangaGirl, and this is my first fanfiction on this site. I've been inspired by enjoyable video game fanfics and decided on a whim to make an account and get this fanfic started. It will be featuring the characters from the Super Smash Bros. Universe, and a few of their friends. I'm going to try and have as much fun as I can with this. I don't want to take it too seriously. I also will do my best to update often and not lose track of this story. So without further ado, let us get to the story.

* * *

**Super Smash Bros: The Revenge of Tabuu**

Prologue: A Premonition

To understand the world video game characters live in, you have to understand it is made up of a bunch of little dimensions all swirling around in bubbles bouncing off of each other. These dimensions are easy to access and many video game characters visit each other frequently. Some even live with each other. To be precise, a large amount do. That house is where the chosen fighters live. The ones who beat the hell out of each other for our entertainment. This is a story about how those fighters live with each other and perhaps, save the world again.

* * *

Mario was napping. Well, TRYING to nap. Seriously, how hard was it for one man to get some sleep around here? Mario had dined upon a good helping of pasta, with extra tomato sauce and some fancy mushrooms Luigi had picked. He was trying to get all this to digest when he heard the sound of cars crashing into each other. Of course this was natural in the household. Captain Falcon while being a world class racer somehow managed to often crash his cars into the walls, or other people's vehicles. This was usually ignored by everybody living in the building, but Mario was trying to nap, and you don't mess with Mario's naps. (Unless you were Princess Peach, then you could mess with him all night long~)

Mario sniffed and got up from the living room couch. To be honest why he was even trying to nap where there was the most traffic would have baffled anyone. The living room, which was very spacious and well ventilated, was where most people played games, ate snacks while gossiping, or simply came to brood over a tiff with another housemate. Honestly, why did Mario try to nap there? The sounds that had stopped his rest were Ness and Lucas playing a loud explosive car game on the Xbox One. The type where the cars flipped like gymnasts and burst into giant flames. A stupid game in Mario's opinion.

"Would you turn that mess down?" Mario asked grumpily.

Ness, who was the apple-pie, baseball loving boy his face suggested, turned his head away from the game and said, "Why don't you move into another room?"

"Yeah, like your OWN room, Mario, your snoring is messing up our enjoyment," Lucas added without his eyes leaving the screen.

Ness and Lucas were good kids but they were still teenage boys of today and would rather not turn their video games down.

Mario felt deeply disrespected and probably would have said something if the boys hadn't immediately went back to their game.

"I hate this new generation..." Mario grunted to himself walking out of the room.

Now, Mario had a premonition. One that came out of nowhere. He didn't know why but he just woke up with one. And this premonition told him that something big was going to happen. Sure he didn't know what it was but he had a feeling that life wasn't going to be peaceful very soon.

"Maybe I should tell someone this," Mario said aloud. And he decided at that moment to tell his younger brother. Well, he had decided that, but then Wario walked near him and he thought that he was just as good and he couldn't really hold it in much longer. Mario was a "Spill the beans" type of guy. Which probably won't go well later in this story.

Using the body language of his people Mario flagged Wario down. "I have to a-tell you something, Wario! Something very important!" Mario said.

Wario didn't feel like hearing this and was going to tune him out, then he thought there might be some money involved. Wario loved money more than his own mother.

"What?!" Wario barked cleaning his ears out.

"I feel like-a something is a-coming!"

"If you mean that pizza I ordered, yeah, that should be coming."

"No! I mean something that will change all our fates! Something dangerous and scary!"

Wario blew a raspberry and began cleaning his nose. "Like what? Tabuu's gonna be _revived_?"

Wario was foreshadowing. Even though he didn't know it. But, yes, I think you can all figure out where this is going.


	2. The Ice Climbers

_Author note: Second chapter up. Pretty excited to be writing about the Ice Climbers. Enjoy, review, etc. _

Chapter 1. The Ice Climbers.

**A note about the Ice Climbers:**

**To anybody who sees the Ice Climbers, they will think that they are an inseparable team that can conquer anything as long as they are together. In this observation they are right. But what they will NOT see is that the Ice Climbers, while being the best of friends, do not spend all their time together. What they will not _see_ is the bickering that happens off-screen: the slapping, the pinching, or the fact that the two tiny, cute Eskimos are _actually_ on the road to puberty and have moods to match. They won't see that Popo and Nana's interactions when separate with the outside world is often filled with annoyance and ridicule of the other. That is what the casual viewer WON'T see. Luckily, we aren't the casual viewer.**

* * *

"I am independent", Nana said to her reflection. She carefully used her short fingers to lengthen the fishtail braid she was weaving.

What a lot of people don't know about Nana is that her hair is very long; reaching to her tailbone, braided, pinned back and tucked away under her parka. If people cared to pay attention, they would also notice its rich color and luscious thickness.

_Yeah, If people cared to notice, _Nana thought to herself. People only noticed that she looked like Popo.

"Always an Ice Climber, never just Nana." Nana breathed out deeply and tried to finish her braid. If she asked someone like Zelda, Peach or even Link (especially Link with those long fingers, deft hands and careful eyes...) , this braid could have been done a lot sooner. However, she wanted to finish it herself.

"Hey, Nana!" Popo greeted coming into their bedroom, busily swirling a Tootsie Pop around his tongue. (_Ugh, those dreaded Tootsie Pops, thought Nana...Not the author, although the author doesn't find them that great either__)_ Popo took a seat on the bottom bunk and pulled his hood down.

"How come you're braiding your hair different?" He asked.

"Because I got bored with the old style," Nana said adding a fat pink ribbon at the end.

"Why? It looked fine before."

"Well, it looks even better now."

"I don't think anyone will honestly notice the difference, you keep your hair under a..." Popo didn't finish his sentence, for Nana's eyes had narrowed into slits.

The best thing to do in this situation Popo knew was to say something heartwarming and obvious.

"Haha, love you, Nana!" Popo squeaked.

Nana pulled on her hood, "Love you too, Popes."

Now, Popo was no chicken. He had crossed frozen tundras, sailed across frigid waters and once even beat a bear with only a rolled up newspaper! But he didn't want to mess with Nana. Because as he had told every male after "The Incident": That bitch is crazy sometimes.

And Popo can assure the audience that might think he sounded a little harsh, he had said it with all the love a brother could carry.

"This has nothing to do with Ike...Right?" Popo asked cautiously, eyeing the door for a quick escape.

"No, nothing to do with Ike at all."

But of course it had to do with Ike. The man didn't let his brain work before opening his mouth, just ask, "The Incident".

* * *

_Nana was feeling pretty good about herself. She and Popo had just finished a round against Snake. Watching his own explosives singe off half of his beard and win them the battle was priceless. What was even better was Popo's hard to maintain white parka was clean at the end of the battle. And her black one was still shiny enough to give her some extra swag in every step._

_She was feeling great, better than great! On top of the world! The Ice Climbers were making a name for themselves, they were-!_

"_Hey, Popo. Nice job in that match." Ike said through a mouthful of mutton chop. _

_In most situations Nana would have been more than happy to have Ike talk to her. Even though she was still young, Ike caused a feeling within her that turned her legs to jelly. Needless to say, like most of the female household, she found him very attractive. _

_Plus she pretty much only spoke with Popo and the female residents, so Ike talking to her was a treat._

_Would have been a treat. If he had erm, you know, pinned the right name to the Parka. _

"_I'm erm..." She started._

_Ike bit off a hunk of meat and said through a full mouth, "Great match! Some real leadership skills you showed there. Nana would have been a goner if you hadn't stepped in when you did."_

_Nana blinked. "Erm, well, I am Nana..." Had he honestly believed she was her older brother?! That was heartbreaking to her!_

_Ike swallowed then became silent. The silence spread for a minute. A real uncomfortable silence. _

"_Sorry, Nana," he laughed apologetically. "So it was Popo in the white parka. Really sorry."_

_Ike was visibly uncomfortable. He was even letting mutton grease drip on his hand. _

"_Why did you say it like that: The 'White parka'? Why did you say it like I had to have been wearing it?" _

_Ike wondered where this was going. _

"_Cuz, well, you know? Girls typically wear white." _

"_Do they now? Do they?" _

"_Well, in a couples sense. Boys wear black, girls wear white..." _

"_So you thought I was my brother, just because of our parkas?" By Nana's tone Ike should have done his best for a sensitive way out. One that would soothe Nana's visibly bruised (or angry) feelings. But being Ike, he didn't pick up on any of that._

_So Ike then said something he would come to regret. Something that haunted his dreams and made the taste of mutton seem especially bitter. _

"_I tell you guys apart by your parkas, so yeah." _

_That day, Ike found out that the Ice Climbers can not only pound, they could stab, and they could twist. He wondered how he had lost control of his piece of mutton so quickly?_

* * *

Popo shivered at the memory. It had taken two guys and one calming Fox to get Nana off Ike and the stick his mutton had been gnawing on, out of his shoulder. That was the day Popo's thoughts changed about Nana. On that day a sense of security broke. In the future, so much security would break, Popo had no idea.

Silver chimes rang throughout the building and a feeling of relief washed over Popo.

"Dinner's ready!" Popo exclaimed hopping up.

"Yeah, I heard. Why are you so excited about that?" Nana said.

"Because there are witnesses, I mean, people at the dinner table! I love people!" Popo nodded vigorously, hoping the sweat on his brow didn't show.

Nana picked up her trusty hammer and carefully put it into her pocket. (Or wherever they keep that equipment.)

Boy, did Popo grow to hate that hammer.


	3. Palutena

Author Note: Hello everybody! As far as names go in this fanfiction I'll probably be using a mixture of the original Japanese names and English ones. Like in this story Dark Pit will be referred to as Black Pit and Robin will be referred to as Reflet. The Super Smash Bros. that I play is in Japanese so I've gotten into the habit of calling them by their Japanese names. But certain things will have their English names. Such as Mushrooms and Goombas. I can't really change everything so much nobody will have any idea what I'm talking about.

(」゜ロ゜)」

(」゜ロ゜)」(」゜ロ゜)」

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Chapter 2. Palutena

**A note about Palutena:**

**Lady Palutena: Goddess of Light who likes to be called Palutena by her friends and her full title in formal occasions, is a friendly woman with an intelligence, exuberance, and youthful appearance to match. She is motherly to small children and a bit smothering in some situations. She also has an avid love of anime, BL, and all that comes with it.**

**Palutena was often spotted gliding through conventions with the newest iPhone trying to snap pictures with her favourite characters and cosplayers. While she doesn't take photos with the common-folk herself, anybody manning a station she stops at is ecstatic, for she is known to buy every single thing that catches her fancy. **

**But what is frequently noticed about Palutena is her slightly obsessive attitude. Once something captures her attention she has a hard time letting it go. Pit knew this well and in a way, tried to avoid getting too involved in some of her projects. Of course, he couldn't avoid them all...**

* * *

Palutena was distressed. Very much so. Of course she knew she shouldn't have been here in the first place but...Still!

Where she was precisely was kneeling in front of Pit and Black Pit's bunk bed. She had come in to get a video game. _Sin and Punishment_ to be exact.

An hour ago She and Shulk were talking extensively about the video games they liked. Besides boasting about their own games both had confirmed a love of _Sin and Punishment_. After some more chatting they each got the urge to whip it out and play it. Shulk however regrettably had lost his original copy in a babysitting accident with Riki's children. Palutena then happily said she had just loaned her copy to Pit. She decided to go to Pit's room and get it.

"I'm not invading their privacy," she told herself. "I'm simply getting my game back."

When she first came in she sighed at the mess. Both boys didn't fold their clothing and left them strewn across the floor. Since the room was inhabited by two different people the designs clashed with their interest. Pit had an Adele poster on his side of the room, below the poster on top of his desk were plane models, a few One Piece mangas, and an ugly lamp decorated with badly drawn angels (Or pigeons? Palutena couldn't really tell).

Black Pit's side held a Black Veil Brides poster, underneath it on his desk was a switchblade, (Palutena would have to say something about that to him) and a toy gun. Which Palutena hoped was just a toy.

Overall, very different. Of course, being essentially the same person, somehow their designs still seemed cohesive.

Moving quickly she started digging under the bottom bunk of the boys' bed. Last time she had checked, Pit had gotten the right to sleep on the top. She clearly remembers this because he kept singing about how Black Pit was at the bottom.

"The bottom of the bunk, you mean, right, Pit?" Palutena asked quietly.

"Of course the bottom of the bunk! He couldn't beat me in Rock-Paper-Scissors! So the bottom he went!" Pit said cheerfully.

Palutena nodded and managed to ignore Black Pit's eyes, glaring at her accusingly.

BUT! That was over with. What was happening now was most important! What was most important was...was...was...this girlie magazine under their bed.

_He isn't truly reading this, is he?_ Palutena thought. By reading she meant looking, because seriously, how much reading was there in a girlie magazine?

The author admits that Playboy might beg to differ, however we aren't talking about Playboy right now.

Palutena looked at the magazine with distaste. The woman on the front was serving up more milk than a tavern girl living on a dairy farm. It made Palutena's motherly side boil up, she didn't like the thought of having to get used to this.

She was really taking too much time here. One of the boys could fly in any minute and discover her...But Palutena forgot that as her mind swirled deeper into the magazine. She began to flip through it, curious.

Humming to herself she began to study the faces of the women. Some had very pretty faces she had to admit. All were so very different though she couldn't tell if Pit had a type. Nor did any look like her.

"Well, I'm his mother figure, right? If any looked like me I should be worried." Still, Palutena couldn't help in the corner of her mind wishing that one had looked slightly like her. Just ever so slightly.

She went back under the bed and found a few more magazines.

"Why couldn't you use internet like the rest of the world for your jollies, Pit?" Palutena asked aloud starting on the next one.

She became so engrossed in her activity that she didn't hear the door open, or the pair of feet that walked in.

Pit saw her first, sitting on the blue carpet, brow furrowed looking at the magazines. The magazines from under their bed...The magazines...**Fudge**

But he didn't think Fudge.

"LADY PALUTENA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!" Pit screamed in horror.

Maybe his horror wouldn't have caused him to scream had Palutena not pulled out every single magazine from under the bed, and had them spread across the floor like playing cards.

"Not now, Pit," Palutena said absentmindedly going through her third, "I'm trying to find a pattern."

She was in the zone, and Pit had to get her out of it.

"There is no freaking pattern! What the hell is this shit?!" Pit exclaimed.

Another thing Palutena was having to get used to from the two boys. Their mouths had become much worse of late.

She finally looked up from the magazine, halo glowing.

"Pit, why couldn't you use the internet like a normal teenager?!" Palutena cried standing up. If he had used the internet like a normal teenage boy Palutena wouldn't have had to come across these small thrill-givers.

"Those aren't even my freaking magazines, Lady Palutena!" Pit said.

The fact that he could use "Freaking" and "Lady Palutena" in the same sentence seemed odd and a bit unfitting to the goddess.

"Those magazines are Black Pit's! He buys 'em!" Pit continued pointing at his dark doppelganger.

Black Pit, who had been watching in slight amusement did a double take. Like hell Pit's porn was being placed on him.

"You aren't about to put your magazines on me, own up like a man," he said with a low anger.

Yes, Pit! Own up! These couldn't possibly be Black Pit's magazines! We know he's gay!" Palutena said.

At that moment if possible, Black Pit did a triple take. Pit moved his head around so fast to gape at him it was a wonder he didn't get whiplash.

"I AM NOT GAY! WHAT THE HELL?!" Black Pit shouted indignant.

Pit still stared blankly, mouth wide open. Like seriously, he needed to close it, he was catching flies. Palutena stepped forward.

"Oh, Black Pit, it's quite obvious, it's alright. No one is judging you," said Palutena in such a warm tone had it been any other subject, the person would have been immediately mollified. "Even your obsession with Link has been noticed by many."

Pit's eyes never left Black Pit's furrowing brow.

The obsession that Palutena was speaking of, were the long intense stares that Black Pit shot across the dinner table to the Hylian. Link himself seemed to barely notice them. Nonetheless, the others around the table who caught him staring described it as an ardent glare fueled by a passion simmering deep inside.

In reality, Link just owed the boy a sparring match and hamburger.

Pit swallowed, an audible gulp. He opened his mouth to speak, only to be given the hand by Black Pit to shut up.

Black Pit raised his voice up a notch, so that everybody could not only hear his voice, they could hear his emotions.

"FREAKING HELL IT'S OBVIOUS! I THOUGHT GODDESSES WERE ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO KNOW SOMETHING! YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW NOTHING! YOU ARE A DELUSIONAL FUJOSHI!"

Well that was the truth, Palutena was a fujoshi. She enjoyed her BL pairings quite a lot and often felt a guilty twinge reading yaoi about her fellow roommates. That being said, she didn't ship her own angels with anybody.

Yeah, as long as she kept telling herself that she could get through the day.

This is when Pit stepped in. He was shocked by the turn of events but he still had an opinion on everything that was going on, and dammit, he was going to say it, whether anybody liked it or not.

"Is that why I caught you watching Project Runway with Peach that time? Is it?" he asked excited, wings fluttering.

"Project Runway is a really good show. I enjoy it immensely. We should all watch it as a family sometime, boys," Palutena said trying to neutralize the atmosphere she had caused.

Black Pit scoffed. "I wasn't watching it, I came in while it happened to be on. That show is a chick show, only watched by girls and guys who like girl's clothing."

Which was really not true, in fact the author and her family watch Project Runway all together. It is a great bonding show. Plus Tim Gunn is awesome.

"I'm not watching Project Runway, Lady Palutena, I just can't do it. Now, why are you in our room again? It's an invasion of privacy." Pit said.

Palutena was really hoping they would have forgotten about that.

"I was just searching for a video game I believe I loaned you, which you never gave back." Palutena crossed her arms and beamed her halo.

"Why did you look under our bed? I keep all the games I have in our closet," said Pit looking up at her with barely hidden annoyance.

Palutena smiled gently. "Thank you for telling me, Pit. Will you please retrieve _Sin and Punishment_ for me? I'm sorry I looked under your bed without permission," Palutena ended her sentence with an award winning smile, gently caressing Pit's cheek.

Pit hated that Black Pit said he'd do anything Palutena told him to do. He hated that he called him her lap dog, her boy slave, he hated all of that, but come on! Could you say no looking into those emerald colored eyes and magnificent smile, could you?! He thought not.

So, even though a bit peeved at her for looking through his stuff, he was willing to listen to her. He would have done anything for her...Anything!

"So, who bought those magazines again?" Palutena asked dryly.

He would have done anything for her, except tell her that.

"I told you, those magazines are Black Pit's! He brings 'em in!"

"I don't give an eff about porn, those are obviously yours!"

"I have to agree with him, Pit. He obviously doesn't care about _that_ type of porn."

"I don't care about _any_ porn!"

"Maybe he's trying to change himself with those magazines," Pit said in a helpful manner.

"F.U. guys." Black Pit said.

A bell rung throughout the room, silencing the discussion and taking hold of everybody's attention for a moment.

Pit was relieved by the chimes of the dinner bell. He could get himself out of this mess.

"The dinner bell! Come on! Let's eat! I heard Link is cooking his famous Lon Lon mac and cheese tonight!" Pit exclaimed.

You heard that, Black Pit! Link is cooking tonight!" Palutena smiled.

Black Pit, filled with so many emotions, (Okay, not so many, that would make him deep. He was filled with two: annoyance and anger) flew out the room grumbling something offensive.

Pit started to fly out of the room when Palutena piped up. She was staring at the ground, her hair wavering slightly. One of the magazine girls was winking at her. Her hair and eyes were both a fantastic shade of green. Palutena smiled to herself.

"Let's talk about these magazines after dinner."

Pit swallowed hard.


	4. Reflet

Author note: My brother randomly picked who the main characters would be for this story, because of that, Reflet has appeared. It probably sounds like I have something against the guy, I don't, I just have never even played his game. He's pretty good in Super Smash Bros. though. And on my DeviantArt account I belong to Fire Emblem groups. So regardless if I've played it or not, I see a heap of Kakusei characters, so I've learned quite a bit.

(￣︶￣)

* * *

Chapter: 3 Reflet.

**A note about Reflet:**

**Reflet S. Grimm (Whose name was pronounced with a silent "T") was a sensitive fellow who enjoyed reading and being with his friends. He is mostly known for his amazing and innovative strategies that have saved many lives before. Meaning most see him as a smart guy.**

**They also see him as a very charismatic young man who could charm the socks off of a cold penguin, however even with all of this is extremely self-conscious and hates being the center of attention. **

**If you know Reflet long enough you'll know something is wrong with him. For he is always running off and when he is not, he is hiding. For whatever reason, only few know. He'd happily tell more if they were willing to listen.**

* * *

Reflet stared at the book on his bed. Lucina must have left it for him when he was going for his evening jog. The book was a friendly yellow with baby-blue letters done in an inviting script. The book's title was not inviting to Reflet at all though, the cover read:

**_Being True to Yourself: A Guide to Accepting Who You Are_**

Reflet wished he could catch a break.

* * *

It had happened in the summer right before the annual Smash vacation. For Reflet and the other rookies this would be their first time going to the beach resort in Isle Delfino. Besides a scary incident involving Wario in a Speedo, and a couple of Peach's (slaves) toads being squashed by her numerous luggage bags, everything was going smoothly. Most people were packing calmly, buzzing with excitement.

Reflet was packing, using his magic to move the items he needed into his suitcase and throwing the rejected ones in a pile.

He was deciding between blue or red trunks when he heard someone walk in.

It wasn't that strange. Most people had their doors wide open so that they could throw clothing back and forth or get fashion opinions. So Reflet didn't even blink an eye when Lucina's voice rang out.

"Almost done packing, I presume?"

Reflet remembered when he turned around how her smile was gentle, just ever so slightly lifting at the eyes. Reflet thought her smile was beautiful. He thought her smile was...

Was a lot of things, back to the story.

"Yes, yes I am, Lucina. Would you like to take a seat?"

"I have to finish packing, so it's best not to get comfortable. Just checking on you."

Reflet laughed. It was a dorky one. He could admit it. "Thank you, Lucina," he turned his back to her to finish his task.

Present Reflet sighed and put his face in his hands at the memory. Why hadn't he been more careful? Why had he been so careless with his magic? Why hadn't he put the books in? Why hadn't he?

Reflet remembered flicking his wrist to add in sunscreen to his suitcase. His arm work was a little shaky so instead of going into the bag, it ended up banging against the side and somehow tipping the heavy bag over.

Like, what the hell? That never happened to him. It had never happened before. How was sunscreen his demise?

Just as the contents spilled towards the ground, Lucina with her lightning fast reflexes lunged to the floor catching a few of Reflet's belongings. Reflet was real appreciative. Well, until he saw what Lucina had.

She had a nightgown. On top of the nightgown, a flimsy pair of women's underwear, and a bra. Reflet's breath caught in his throat. Lucina squinted at the fabric.

"Reflet, what is this?" Lucina asked. Of course she had to have known. She was a lady herself. And every lady knew what a bra was. A bra and...pantyhose.

_Screw me_. Reflet thought. Then he actually opened his mouth.

"Lady friend, I guess?" Lucina said, offering him a chance at escape. If Reflet was smart, he'd take it.

Reflet was not smart.

What? Lady friend? There was no lady friend. His heart and soul belonged to her and only her. It belonged to his flower, his muse, his wonderful blue opal! Plus, he had broken up with Tharja. She was a good girlfriend, but she was much too clingy. Clingy like a dryer sheet. And Lucina should know better! He had come to her, brokenhearted, had cried in her shoulder. She knew he was single!

So when she asked that question, he could only shake his head.

"Did you get these clothes by...accident?" She said cautiously.

Shit, he just realized that he probably looked like a pervert who liked stealing women's underwear. Oh, shit.

"They aren't by accident, and I didn't steal them...If you thought that too." Reflet thought it was best just to come out with it, Lucina's queer expression was too much to bear.

Reflet now realized he should have just said he had stolen them. At least then, Lucina would still think of him as...Manly.

"They're mine, Lucina. Mine."

Lucina breathed in, Reflet could tell she wasn't trying to be...Judge-y.

"You're a drag queen?" She asked quietly.

Oh wait, say what? That was where she went? Not like he'd make a bad drag queen. His face was slender and his shoulders were small. He'd probably kick ass in a lot of shows. Wait, he couldn't believe that was even crossing his mind.

"I'm not anything like that, Lucina," Reflet squeaked.

Lucina visibly flinched. "I'm sorry, I used the wrong term, didn't I? You're a cross-dresser." She nodded.

Reflet shook his head. "I'm neither, Lucina. I'm a woman. Or more, I turn into one." There, he had said it.

Lucina's eyes widened at this declaration. She couldn't really believe the man standing in front of her was a women. I mean he was pretty looking but, she had seen him in his underwear several times. Ain't no way that was a woman.

"You mean, you're a woman trapped in a man's body?"

"No, I am a man who turns into a woman. I don't know why, it just happens from time to time."

Lucina looked at him carefully. "You're gender confused or you just like women's clothing, is that it?"

Reflet sighed. He didn't feel like trying to walk her through it. He barely got it. He wished it didn't happen. His love life sucked because of it. And he was scared the woman he loved wouldn't even think about being with him because he turned into a girl. He just didn't believe Lucina was that open.

Tharja, but not Lucina.

He picked up his clothing and stuffed them sloppily into his suitcase, neatness could go screw itself to the moon right now. He held out his hand for Lucina to give his bra back. He wished he would have at least packed the smart black one. This one was frilly with bows. Curse his feminine side.

She handed it back thoughtfully. "You want to be a woman? Is that it, Reflet? If so, I will do my best to help. I'll even loan you my clothes if you'd like."

Like hell he was gonna walk around in Lucina's clothes. Like hell he would be caught dead doing that.

"Lucina, I do not want to be a woman. I am not confused about myself. I simply, from time to time, turn into a woman."

This odd condition was the reason he had cut down on his red meat consumption, didn't hang out around the other girls too much, or get too emotionally distressed. Those were often the triggers.

"Alright then, does fa- I mean Chrome know?"

Reflet cringed from the memory. Oh yeah, he knew. Reflet nodded.

Lucina stood up and smoothed her clothing out. "If you need anything, just come to me, okay?"

Reflet's heart sank when he heard that. Lucina's understanding smile was too much. He knew he wasn't out of the woods, yet. Nor was he completely understood.

* * *

So now here Reflet sat, despondent on his bed, holding the dreaded informational book. Why had this happened? He was so careful. If only he had just remembered to pack his books at the bottom, the suitcase wouldn't have flipped over so easy. His secret would have been KEPT a secret.

Life hated him. Life spat on him. Life wanted him to be single forever.

Now he could only sigh and wish that the events of the last few weeks hadn't happened. Lucina was wonderful, but he knew she wouldn't want someone who randomly flipped between sexes. Who would want a husband who could lament menstrual pains with them? Lucina surely wouldn't want that.

_Oh, Lucina_, Reflet thought. _You beautiful woman. You wonderful gem. You're the sun and the stars, the sea breeze that caresses my face. Oh, Lucina! How I wished for you to finally see me as more than a friend, to look into my eyes and know I was your one and only. When we kissed fireworks were supposed to crackle in our hearts. Our body and souls were supposed to come together as one. How I wished to see your flush faced in dim light, hearing you call out, "Reflet, Reflet," in hoarse breath, as I-_-

_Ting, ting, ting~!_

The dinner bell broke Reflet out of his hormone induced shoujo fantasy. Reflet sighed, he'd have to face Lucina again at the dinner table. He wasn't looking forward to it. He got up.

A ping went through his lower abdomen. A resounding hurtful ping.

**Oh crap.**

"No, not now, not now!" Reflet's plea was useless, he could feel it coming on. There was no way to stop it.

Looks like he'd be staying in for the rest of the night.


	5. Bowser

Author note: I had no idea what I was doing this whole chapter. I just had to write and let it come to me. Not having a concrete plan became a lot of fun. So yeah, enjoy, review, etc. etc.

＼（＠￣∇￣＠）／

* * *

Chapter 4. Bowser.

**A note about Boswer. **

**Great Demon King Koopa or as he's known by old college friends and close acquaintances, Bowser, is a savvy business man with hard luck. He is mostly known for his attempts at kidnapping Toadstool Princess Peach. But what no one ever talks about is how he runs three successful businesses, somehow governs the whole Koopa kingdom, and lovingly takes care of all of his children. Which isn't a small feat.**

**King Koopa and Mario are actually great friends, when their professions don't clash they often go go-karting and golfing together. King Koopa is also good friends with Donkey Kong, however he will never admit it and would rather show his kinder side towards him during book club meetings. **

**Lastly, King Koopa is called Great Demon King Koopa for a reason. He gets angry, fast. Years of anger management still hasn't curb his raging temperament. Most stay away from him when fire begins to lick at his nostrils. Most...**

* * *

Bowser was angry. He sat on the living room couch fuming about how his book club went. He had let that dumb ape pick out the book they were all supposed to read and discuss. DK had chosen...Moby Dick. Do you know how long Moby Dick is? Over 500 frickin' pages. 500 frickin' pages of a crazy man chasing a whale that honestly, Bowser could care less about.

The whole book club agreed upon the book and said they would discuss it next month. Lucario happened to mention how _he'd_ probably be done with it in a week or so.

"I was hoping for something more challenging," Lucario said, skimming through it bored. "This probably won't last me a week."

_Says the Pokemon who picked Little Women,_ Bowser thought.

"It's Moby Dick. It can't get much harder than that. What do you mean, more challenging?" Bowser said, eyebrow twitching.

Lucario closed his book. "No need to get upset. I'm simply saying that I wish it was a harder read. I'll know what happens next meeting and will have to keep my mouth shut as to not give anything away. Just bothersome on my end."

When did Lucario learn to talk again? Bowser remembered that he could only communicate telepathically like Mewtwo in the beginning. He wished it was like that again. Much better than hearing that raspy voice.

"Well, Lucario, maybe you should take up your complaints with Donkey Kong. The rest of the book club has no problem with it."

"He doesn't need to take much up with me, I'll probably finish in a week too." DK suddenly said.

Bowser's nostrils flared as he glared at the great ape.

"Just because you two don't have much to do and can spend all your time reading, doesn't mean the rest of us have that kind of freedom. So we don't need you guys bragging about your finishing speeds."

Both Lucario and DK became quiet.

Bower nodded to himself. That was right, yeah. They needed to stop trying to make everybody else look bad. He knew they were both fast readers, but they sure didn't need to brag.

Boswer was feeling pretty good about himself, then Peach spoke up.

"I could probably finish it in a week, too. If anyone else can, maybe we should just hold our next book club meeting on Monday," the Toadstool Princess said.

Bowser's mood began to sink as the rest of the club joined in about finished the book in a week and what a "piece of cake!" it would be. Bowser glared at Sonic for that last comment.

Grudgingly, Bowser said the next book meeting would be held on Monday and adjourned the meeting. Sonic patted his back as he was leaving and uttered cheerfully "It's alright being a slow reader! We'll wait for you if you haven't finished it by Monday!"

Bowser shrugged him off.

* * *

Did that blue punk say that they'd "Wait for him"? Who was he kidding? Sonic was constantly telling spoilers. The dude watched everything the moment it came out, read everything the moment it was published, and had loose lips that revealed the ending of "The Mist" to the entire dinner table without batting an eye. No way would he "Wait" for him.

And Bowser didn't need no stinking pity! He was the King of the Koopas! He could finish this damn book in a DAY if he wanted! But...but...but...he had kids. Kids that required attention, discipline and bed time stories. He had kids and kids require a lot of attention.

"Yeah dad, of course you have kids, and we're awesome!" Koopa Jr. said appearing from behind his chair.

Koopa Jr. surprised Bowser, so Bowser surprised Koopa Jr. with a swift kick to the abdomen that launched him across the room.

"Gahhh!" He screamed splatting against the wall.

Bowser chuckled at the sound his son made.

Koopa Jr. quickly recovered and ran up into a chair near his father. "Geez, dad, you need to calm down. Like seriously, you need to chill."

"Chill? Where the hell did you come from anyway?"

"The author couldn't find a good way for me to walk in the room, so instead I was behind your seat the whole time."

The author tried, but found this way to be the best. It even resulted in good old-fashioned violence.

"Child abuse is not funny!" Koopa Jr. cried.

Sure it isn't. That's why we write and joke about it.

"And I thought this story was called the revenge of Tabuu! Where the hell is that guy?"

"What? You don't want your father to get some screen time? Everybody else got screen time!"

"But it's been over three chapters in and _nothing _has happened. Zip.

"I'm getting my freaking screen time like the rest of those punks. End of story."

The author would like to remind Koopa Jr. and Bowser that even though this conversation has taken place they would have no memory of it by the time Tabuu swung around.

"Yeah," Bowser said. "We know. So Son, what were you doing before you came in?"

Koopa Jr. planted himself in the chair, "I was baking cookies with my bae~"

Koopa Jr. was a good(ish) kid. But he was a kid of his generation, meaning he said a lot of annoying stupid words on trend. Like bae, and YOLO.

Bowser sighed. Good thing he loved his son. "You mean Peach, right, Son? You baked cookies with Peach."

Koopa Jr. nodded. "Mmmhmm, she says you can have a few if you like. And before that I got into a fight with stupid Morton. That bald ugly bitch thinks he knows something, so I showed him."

"I'm trying to raise you to be a good kid, Son. Don't call your brother a bitch. I can call anybody I want a bitch. But until you can breath a fire as hot as me, you can't call no one a bitch." Bowser nodded to himself, that was how you taught your children. That was surely how...

Bowser replayed Koopa Jr. last words. He leaned towards his son.

"You said you showed him...? How did you show him...?" Bowser's eyes glinted.

Koopa Jr.s smile widened, eyes sparkling mischievously.

"I showed him by-

Heavy footsteps broke Koopa Jr.'s speech.

"Yo! How's it going, Bowser and Jr.?" DK greeted.

Bowser huffed and got up from his seat. "We're talking, Donkey, having an honest father to son chat. Don't you have some reading to do?"

DK cracked his knuckles and grinned. Grins were never good in Monkey language.

"I'm an ape, not a monkey. Huge difference."

Nobody really cares, Donkey.

"Yeah," said Bowser. "Nobody cares, so why don't you get your hairy self out of here and let me and my son finish up our chat."

Koopa Jr. realized a fight was about to start and gleefully wished he had some popcorn.

Donkey Kong leaned closer to Bowser. "This is the living room. Where people do their living. So since I'm not some corpse, I got every right to be here."

Bowser leaned in closer to Donkey, their cheeks smashed together.

"I can change that real~~soon, Donkey Kong, if you know what I'm saying."

Donkey Kong pushed Bowser's head back, which began a shoving match with their craniums.

"Oh, I know what you're saying, Bowser. But what I'm say-"

"Donkey Kong! Trouble! Diddy got stuck in the toilet again!" One of Peach's hysterical toads. (Why the hell did they live here again?) was waving his arms wildly crying.

DK sighed, "I'll be seeing you later, Bowser. I gotta help my buddy." Before Bowser could get in another word DK ran out of the room, flailing Toad in wake.

Bowser sat back down and shot fire out of his nose. Koopa Jr. eyed him carefully.

"Wanna know what else I did, Dad?" Koopa Jr. asked.

Bowser made a grunt. Seriously, kids. "What, Son?"

"I showed that bitch Wendy what for."

"I told you not to call people bitches, son."

"But everybody _KNOWS_ she's a bitch. Even you do Dad."

"Look son, I'm not calling any of your siblings a-"

"Say it with me, Dad. She's a bitch."

"Son..."

"Come on, say it with me, she's a bitch."

"Son, I said-"

"Even my bae Rosetta thinks so...Come on Dad, just once, say it with me, she's a-Waaaahhh!"

Koopa Jr. got a mouthful of red flame courtesy from his ticked off father.

"Listen to me son. No." Bowser huffed and shook his head.

Through the soot Koopa Jr,'s eyes began to water and his lower lip began to tremble. "Not fair...That hurt..." He whined.

Bowser placed his head in his hands. He did not feel like dealing with some tantrum.

Koopa Jr. hopped on the floor and stomped his foot. "How could you, Dad?! I'm your son! I thought you loved me!" He started to cry. "I thought you loved me! I'm being abused!"

"I do love you, Son, but you're annoying sometimes."

Koopa Jr. pouted. "You know what else is annoying?"

"What?"

"You probably won't even give me a straight answer!"

"What, son! What is it? Just say it!"

Koopa Jr. looked at him with beady eyes. The cutest possible look he could ever give his father. He opened his mouth wide and asked;

"Whose my Mama?"

Bowser felt his blood pressure spike.

_Ting, ting ,ting!_

The dinner bell rung throughout the room. To Koopa Jr. it meant dinner. To the Great Demon King Koopa, it sounded like his savior.


	6. And it Starts

Author Note: Okay, here is where it really begins...I think.

／(=✪ x ✪=)＼

* * *

Chapter 5. And it Starts.

**A note about the Smash Table: **

**The Smash table, located on floor one in the dining room, was a long rectangle table made of the finest Deku wood and built magnificently. This table was large enough to seat all the members of the household and visitors; sturdy enough to take anybody's random pounding, table dancing and misplaced attack; and old enough to be loved by the whole household. It is even rumored that this table, so filled with love and memories, is indestructible...**

* * *

The members of the Smash gang were all seated at the dinner table chattering and eating. Mario was moving his fork around trying to illustrate to Luigi the finer moments of plumbing. He had nearly forgotten his earlier premonition after sinking his teeth into the wonderful noodles and Lon Lon cheese.

"Can you please pass the salt, Meta Knight?" asked Ness. Meta Knight passed the salt which Ness took happily.

"Thanks, man!"

Meta Knight stared at him. It was a scary stare.

Ness swallowed. "I mean, Meta Knight...Sir."

Meta Knight nodded slowly and looked around the table.

"Mario, I think we need to lay down better ground rules now that the rookies have become more comfortable," Meta Knight said.

Mario stopped moving his fork and focused on Meta Knight. As the leader he needed to address all complaints, no matter how much he didn't feel like it.

"What do you mean by better rules, Meta Knight?" Mario said.

Meta Knight's yellow eyes scanned the table. A few people exchanged nervous looks.

"First, I think everybody should dress properly for dinner."

Some groans, random outcries, and mumbling rose around the table. Mario silenced them with a wave of his fork. "Like how, Meta Knight?"

"Well," started Meta Knight, "I don't think members should sit at the table with the clothes they've been working in all day." Meta Knight's glare landed on a grimy Toon Link, dressed in his train conducting outfit with greasy black fingers. Toon Link looked up from his chewing and quickly defended himself.

"I just got back from the job! It was a late day! I didn't have time to change! It won't happen again. I'm sorry!"

Mario wondered how Meta Knight's glare could cause people to shape up when his heartfelt words couldn't. Nobody respected him.

"Alright then. I'm glad to hear that. Although you aren't the only person who has come in smelling like the outdoors covered in dirt." Here Meta Knight threw a glance at Captain Falcon, who often came in clothes splattered with oil.

"But besides working clothes, some people need to wear more clothes at the table...I'm talking about you, Shulk." Meta Knight stated.

Shulk, only dressed in a pair of swimming trunks cried out, "Why are you suddenly upset about how I'm dressing? I always dress like this for dinner!"

"Because you're an attention whore, Shulk." Lucas said quietly.

"I agree with Meta Knight on this one, Shulk. You gotta stop dressing like a slut," Ness said.

"I do not dress like a slut! I'm actually quite decent!"

"Look, I know you learned your sluttish ways from Riki, but that doesn't mean you teach them to us," Ness said.

"What are you trying to say about Riki? I feel I should be offended for his sake."

Mario wondered if he should stop this topic, it was quite enjoyable, but interrupting. As a good captain he'd stop it...maybe later.

"I'm just saying, nine kids. That is all I'm saying." Ness popped a noodle in his mouth.

Shulk got up from his chair and pounded the table. "Nine kids he had with his _wife_!"

Ness scoffed. "Some of those kids do not look like Oka."

"All Nopon look alike! How would you know?!"

"Hey, that's racist. What do you mean they all look alike? I bet you think all people from the Mother universe look alike too!" Ness folded his arms.

"I do not!" Shulk said indignant.

In fact, he did. But the whole household thought that people from the Mother Universe looked alike but would rather die than say it out loud. Because that would be racist. Racism is bad.

Mario took his fork and banged it loudly across his glass. "Order! Order! I don't-a think we need to be discussing clothing right now. I think there are more important things to discuss."

"Like what, Mario?" Dedede asked.

Mario stood up and cleared his throat. "Like, why some people are still even in this household." Mario slowly looked around the table.

"If you got something to say, say it to our faces, Mario!" Nana shouted standing up.

"Yeah! Get whatever you gotta say out!" Popo stood with Nana.

Mario drank a bit from his wine glass. "I'm sorry but, you two shouldn't be here. You guys, Luc-"

"I'M DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT!" Cried Lucas throwing his fork on the plate.

_As am I,_ Thought Mewtwo.

"Alright, sorry. Let me finish though: Ice Climbers, Snake, Wolf...PICHU! Seriously? Why are you guys here? At least Roy and Red left!"

"I don't feel the need to leave a house I've grown accustom to, unless, you're trying to kill me," Snake said sharpening his fork.

"Nobody noticed I was still here after a month, so...I just stayed," Wolf yawned.

"We got out on technical difficulties!" Nana started.

"So technically we're still a part of this household in spirit." Popo finished.

Mario rubbed his brow. "Okay, okay, I see you guys have some points...Except you, Pichu!"

Pichu jumped from his name being called with such annoyance. "Pichu! Pich! Pichu!"

"Says something about being cute and how he'll get eaten if he's left outside." Pikachu translated.

"Like I care. I want such a weakling gone from my household!" Mario stomped his foot.

Hey, the author mained as Pichu back in her Melee days. Yeah she knows he is possibly the worst clone ever. That he was nothing but an adorable self-destructing character. But yeah, the author mained as Pichu so, in or out. He gets a part in this story. Do you understand that, Mario?

"Fine! Whatever! He can stay. I just don't wanna look at him!" Mario sat back down and continued eating.

"Pichu, pich, pichu~" Pichu sang.

The dinner table quieted with that and resumed the meal. Then, Mario suddenly felt a wave of fear wash over him. It felt like something was approaching, something dangerous.

_I have to alert everybody!_ He thought.

But before he could do that, someone else spoke...

"Hey! I've got a vision coming!" Shulk suddenly cried.

Mario couldn't believe this. Some pretty boy was trying to take his glory. Like hell he would.

Mario started to speak. "Hey, I have a feel-"

His word were completely ignored by his team as they all had decided to focus on Shulk.

"Yeah, yeah, Shulk. If your vision is about tonight's Jeopardy winner again, I don't want to hear it." Samus said.

"No!" Shulk shook his head and tried focusing on the vision. "It's something much, much, much more important!"

"It better not be the winner of American Idol!", gasped Purin.

Mario tried again. "I think that we should-a hurry an-"

Shulk let out a scream and grabbed his head. "We! We! We! We need to get out of here!" He shouted.

Mario shot from his seat and pointed viciously at the youth. "Hey that was-a my line!"

"Nii-San, we don't have time for that! Let's-a get out of here!" Luigi said standing straight up.

The walls began to shake as people tried to evacuate.

Haha, too late for that...

With an unearthly crunch the front wall that hung old pictures of residents crumbled into dust. A horrific wind blew in causing some of the lighter characters to hit the wall and bounce against the table.

"Beep!" Shouted Mr. Game and Watch as he smashed against the wall and got hit with someone's unfinished plate of mac and cheese.

Link quickly equipped his iron boots and unsheathed his sword. "Who goes there!" He yelled.

"That is-a my line, bub!" Mario said steadying himself. Luigi was currently trying to stand against the wind while Wario, unfazed, simply continued to eat dinner. Albeit it was a little crunchier with the bits of wall in it.

A ray of rainbow colored light shone through the rubble and dust. Pichu who was laying on the table twitching, stared at it in awe.

"Hey, was this the premonition you were talking about earlier, Mario?" Wario asked through a full mouth.

"I think this was, Wario." Mario moved forward, hands ablazing. "Now if only this coward would show themselves!"

A thin whip cut through the air and wound around the dinner table. Pichu let out a squeak and tried to scramble off of it.

"Look out!" Diddy screamed as the chair was lifted and whipped across the room, slamming into multiple people before being chucked right into Bowser.

That was the day Mario knew the legend to be true. For on that day, the table proudly smashed into that hard-headed Koopa's noggin and didn't even suffer a dent. Bowser went down quietly as a result. Pichu was flipped off mid-throw and landed into Samus' arms.

A slow glowing azure light filled the area. Mario blinked at what looked like the beginning of a blue egg.

Turns out, it was just someone's bald head.

"You!" Mario shouted, his hands getting brighter. "You, y-you should be dead!"

Tabuu calmly entered the room.

"I'm back, bitches."


	7. Whoomp, there He is

Author Note: This chapter is a bit late. It became more fun to write as it went along. Thank you to my brother who gives me suggestions as I type. If you have any suggestions for the story, I'd love to hear that too. Thanks for reading!

〜(￣▽￣〜)

* * *

Chapter 6: Whoomp, there he is.

**A note about Master Hand: **

**Master Hand, an entity everyone in the Smash household has known for years, is still a complete mystery to them. Nobody truly understands his purpose or goal. Some imagine he simply lives to terrorize the living daylights out of them. However, recently, many of the residents mentioned a lack of appearances by him. While strange, the cast brushes it off as him simply becoming bored and thought themselves lucky to be rid of him and his wicked laugh. A laugh which haunts some in their sleep. **

* * *

Tabuu lit the whole dining room with an eerie blue light, if he could grin, Mario thought he surely would be now.

"You, you're supposed to be dead! We killed you! We ended your little game!" Mario shouted, pointing a gloved finger at the intruder.

Tabuu tilted his head. "Did you really think you actually killed me? Foolish children, I am Tabuu, I do not die!"

"But you exploded, no trace of you left!" Lucario growled.

"Well, I'm back for revenge now," said Tabuu.

Ganondorf threw his hands up in a complicated motion. Mario was impressed by such hand work. "Look, Tabuu, I used to work for you. But even I know you went too far. Why do you wish for revenge? We ended you. We vanquished you." Ganondorf finished by slamming his fist into the wall.

"Oh, Ganondorf, one of my many traitors. You ask why I want revenge? I'll tell you..." Tabuu spread his arms out in a magnificent gesture. He glanced over the entire room and its inhabitants. He shook his head in disgust.

"Ever since this whole new Smash Bros. came out, I've had to hear about it."

"You don't have to listen." Popo piped up in the back.

Tabuu turned his head and glared at him. "Silence! I will not be interrupted!"

Popo shrank back, he didn't want to be hit with Tabuu's laser eyes.

Tabuu resumed his speech. "Constantly, Smash Bros. this, Smash Bros. that. It's really bothersome at this point. But you know what the worst part is?"

Diddy opened his mouth to answer but Tabuu shushed him with a finger.

"The worst part is, I'm not there. You guys, you imbeciles, got rid of Subspace. So I am nowhere to be found."

Mario couldn't take it anymore. "We didn't get rid of Subspace! That was Sakurai!"

As far as the author is concerned, yeah, blame the guy who actually made the game. Blame the guy who added in Wii Fit Trainer.

"Hey!" Wii Fit Trainer said indignant.

Oh, shut up Wii Fit, no one mains as you.

Annoyed, Tabuu swung his arm and sent a ray of shining projectiles. The smash gang frantically tried to dodge them. While most were agile enough to dodge his attack others, like Dedede couldn't get out of the way fast enough and went flying.

"I don't give a fat rat's arse—" a young giggle rang out, Tabuu threw a glare at Koopa Jr., who looked down sullenly. Tabuu continued his sentence.

"No matter who got rid of Subspace, all I know is that you people got in and I was kicked out. And for what?" Tabuu gestured towards some of the newer members.

"A yoga instructor?" Wii Fit's pale expressionless face almost looked insulted.

"A palette swap?" Black Pit glared fiercely at Tabuu.

"Some, some, dog! Some dog hanging with a duck! Now, you all know that _isn't_ natural!" Duck Hunt Dog barked angrily and Duck quacked.

Tabuu wagged his finger and rose higher in the air. "All of this is insulting! I deserved to be in this new game! I deserved the deference that some damn dog was shown! And I will get it!"

"Why are we letting this guy talk, Mario? Shouldn't we fight?" Wario said finishing his plate of macaroni.

Mario rolled his eyes. "Because it's respectable to let someone finish what they have to say is all."

Tabuu nodded. "If you want respect, you've got to give it."

Mario put up his fist and walked over to Tabuu. "Aww yeah, I-a hear that."

Tabuu, despite being enemies with Mario, gave him some love and pounded his fist.

"Now then," Tabuu said, snapping his fingers.

"Mwahahahaahahah!" rung through the room. A giant white fist punched through the wall.

The veteran players looked in horror at the hand with no body.

"Mwahahahahahahaha!" Master Hand laughed, grabbing hold of the Smash table and throwing it out the newly formed hole he made.

"Hello, everybody~" Master Hand said cheerfully.

"Oh great, it's-a you." Mario sighed. "Where's your spaz of a brother?"

"My brother isn't a spaz! He's got epilepsy!" Master Hand shouted.

"And we should care why?" Mario asked raising an eyebrow.

Tabuu pushed Master Hand back so he wouldn't do anything stupid.

"I've got more where that came from!" Tabuu snapped his fingers again.

Three shadowy figures hopped onto Master Hand. Toon Link let out a gasp, he recognized one of those figures.

"Vio! What are you doing over here?!" Toon Link was hurt to see a part of himself with the enemy.

Vio flipped his fabulous golden tresses, which for some reason looked better than Toon Link's. That sorta pissed him off.

"Hey, Toon Link~" Vio waved like a pageant queen. "So, like, it's a bit boring being good... and they pay me so well here, and I get to kick your butt so, like, win win for me!"

"I can't believe this! Vio! Listen to me right now! Get off of Master Hand and come back inside me!"

"I wouldn't go back inside you for all the money in the world. I enjoy it here. We get health and dental insurance."

"So do we!"

"How about three week vacation days?"

Toon Link looked at him wide eyed.

"Did you say, three weeks?"

Vio nodded with a smirk.

"That's like two more weeks than we get!" Diddy said loudly.

"Quiet down, you all get paid for your work." Mario said.

Link then noticed who was beside Vio. While it didn't shock him, it sure irritated him.

"Dark Link, why are you up there too? I thought we worked out our differences."

"By 'work out' you must mean slicing me into ribbons the last time we talked."

Link groaned and hit his forehead. "You were saying some pretty freaky stuff! What was I supposed to do?"

Dark Link rolled his eyes. "It wasn't that freaky."

"Oh no, it was freaky." Zelda agreed nodding her head.

"I'm sure we can work this out if you come down from there." Link spoke holding his hand out.

Dark Link decided that they could work it out. That there was a way for him to side with the good guys (Or at least become neutral) once and for all.

"Alright then. I'll come down."

Link smiled warmly, Zelda clapped her hands and Master Hand prepared to buck the dark manifestation off.

"If you give me your girlfriend."

Link's smile disappeared and Zelda scoffed.

"I am a person, not some property! Even if Link agreed, I would never go with you."

"Yeah," Link coughed. "She's a person. I can't just give her away. And if I could, I-I still wouldn't!"

"Then, no dice, brother." Dark Link unsheathed his sword.

The last passenger on Master Hand stepped out of the shadows.

Ness and Lucas gasped.

"Porky! You too? Now you know you're supposed to be dead!"

Porky in his weird torture machine spoke, "I am eternal, I never cease."

"Eternal or not! We aren't scared of you, right Lucas?" Ness turned towards his buddy. He turned towards his buddy who was nowhere in sight.

Lucas had hidden behind DK and was trembling like a hypothermia victim.

Ness' face reddened to the color of a tomato.

"Come on, Lucas!" Ness grumbled.

"Nuh-uh! You said Porky wasn't gonna come back!" Lucas whimpered.

"It's Porky Minch, Lucas. He's just a chubby punk."

"An ETERNAL chubby punk." Porky added.

"Chubby or not, I'm scared of him."

"I'm so happy to hear that, Lucas. I'm flattered, utterly so."

"SHUT UP, MINCH!" Lucas bawled covering his ears.

"That's it! Are we fighting, or are we fighting?!" Wario shouted.

"Of course we can fight, you short fat man." Tabuu spat. "We can fight right now," for the third time that day, Tabuu snapped his fingers.

His gang jumped into action.

It took Mario a second to realize what was happening. Mario's reflexes were a bit average so when Master Hand rushed at him he barely made it out of the way.

Vio slashed towards Toon Link. Their swords clashed with a metallic clang.

Porky loosed robot minions, forcing the Smash Gang to kick and strike back toward him. Lucas clambered up on an agitated Fox who was trying to keep himself safe.

Dark Link was taking on both Link and Marth in a sword fight, whilst Zelda was fending off a barrage of bombs dropped by Master Hand.

Mario heard Captain Falcon scream before he saw him hit the wall. Tabuu's golden chain released him and attached to it's next victim, a shocked Yoshi.

Captain Falcon coughed and lifted his head. In his peripheral vision he caught sight of a lone Assist Trophy. Captain Falcon crawled over to it and hoped it was someone useful.

"Please don't be Stafy, please don't be Stafy," Captain Falcon prayed smashing it open.

"Hmmm, it seems your prayers have been answered~" Elegant gloved hands flipped a stylish red cut-out cape. It was the type of cape you'd never find in stores, but that you wanted to buy.

"GHIRAHIM!" Captain Falcon shouted relieved. Captain Falcon never just spoke when talking to someone. He yelled. Meaning that a few eyes landed on he and Ghirahim. Ghirahim quite enjoyed the attention.

"I would prefer to be indulged with my full title, Douglas Jay Falcon."

"AH! DON'T CALL ME THAT! MY NAME IS CAPTAIN FALCON!" Captain Falcon shot a fiery fist in the air with righteous fury.

At the same moment, Ganondorf went crashing through the wall near them, courtesy of a karate chop from Tabuu.

"WAHHH! GANONDORF! GANONDORF! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?! GHIRAHIM! GO HELP HIM!" Captain Falcon got up and ran towards the enemies. "I LEAVE EVERYTHING TO YOU!" he saluted running into the fray.

Ghirahim rolled his eyes and walked over to the bruised Ganondorf. Removing his fine white gloves he extended a hand.

A hand which Ganondorf smacked away.

"Do not touch me, I don't need any help from some homosexual!" Ganondorf growled loudly.

Throughout the room audible gasps could be heard. The fighting stopped as everybody and their mother turned towards Ganondorf and Ghirahim.

"Wow, Ganondorf, I can't believe it. Did you-a really just say that?" Luigi asked shocked.

Ganondorf got up and brushed the dirt off his clothing. "You heard me. I don't want help from his kind."

"I knew I lived with some A-holes but, you sir, have to be the biggest one of them all," Wario said.

Murmured assents came from each side.

Through her visor, Samus' eyes cut at Ganondorf. "You do realize," she said through gritted teeth, "that quite a few people you work with are gay, right?"

Ganondorf laughed. A deep dark laugh. "Are you trying to tell us something, sweetie?"

That caused a few cries of outrage.

It dawned on Ganondorf that he might have made a grave mistake.

"You are a disgusting man! You ought to be ashamed!" Said Palutena.

"Yeah, aren't you a little ashamed at your behavior?" Nana said.

"I can't believe they call you guys the heroes." Vio nonchalantly observed.

Toon Link groaned. "We're better than this dude. Don't judge us by him!"

Ganondorf realized he needed some allies.

"Marth, Ike, come on, you two understand." Ganondorf motion towards the two blue-haired-youths.

Marth made a revolted sound in the back of his throat. "Quite a few of my friends are, as you said, 'Those kind'."

"Yeah, mine too." Ike agreed.

Ganondorf looked over at Dedede. "Come on, Dedede gets it. He doesn't allow any of those people in his country."

Dedede covered his mouth with his hand. "I'll have you know on the planet Pop Star we fully support same-sex marriage and rights."

"Poyo!" Kirby cried.

"Please discontinue speaking. You are embarrassing yourself." Meta Knight added.

"Dysfunctional team you have here, Mario." Master Hand said cracking his knuckles.

"I try-a my best with them all. I really do."

Ghirahim who was waiting for the right opportunity to speak said in a small moment of silence. "You may be Demise's ancestor, but I refuse to ever work with such a lowly worm."

Tabuu perked at that. "You want to come on our side then, Ghirahim?"

Ghirahim looked at the Smashers, then looked at Tabuu.

"Hmmmmm..." Ghirahim seemed to be pondering it.

"Remember, Ghirahim! It's just Ganondorf! The rest of us are nice people!" Link said.

Tabuu shrugged. "I'll pay you double whatever they're paying you."

Like the rest of the people in this story, Ghirahim liked money. So with the aftershock of being extremely offended by Ganondorf and the promise of a bigger salary, Ghirahim said: "You have yourself a new swordsman, Tabuu."

Link and Zelda emitted agitated groans. This would not go well.

"Look what you did, Ganondorf! We finally got him to be friendly with us and you screwed it up! I don't want him to be my enemy!" Link yelled.

Ganondorf scoffed. "I'm glad he's gone."

Falco pointed at Ganondorf. "Would you guys take him, too?" He asked Tabuu.

Tabuu shook his head. "We don't have room for assholes in our group. We're evil, but we have morals."

"I can't-a believe the bad guys are showing us up now!" Mario moaned.

"Urghhh..." A woozy Bowser held his head and staggered to get up. Koopa Jr. noticed him first.

"Dad! Dad! You're awake!"

Yeah but, not for long.

"Whatta ya mean by that?" Koopa Jr. asked.

Oh, young Koopa Jr. Someone has yet to crash this party. Literally.

"Literally?"

It was then the ceiling crumbled apart. Boswer looked up groggily before being struck on the head by a large piece of drywall.

"Dad!" Koopa. Jr. yelled as once again, the great king passed out from injury.

Lucina quickly deflected a piece of drywall from the ceiling and pointed.

"Is that, Master Hand? No, that wouldn't make sense, he's standing right here!"

Well, technically he was floating, but we'll give her a break.

For the second time the veterans stared in horror. The ceiling rained down in a dusty white mess. With sparkling fingers, a white hand descended. Mario was first to speak to the shocked rookies.

"That my friends, is Crazy Hand."


	8. Now the Adventure really begins!

Author Note:

I slipped off schedule. Hopefully I can get into the groove of writing again. Anyway, enjoy, review, etc.

✧ʕ̢̣̣̣̣̩̩̩̩·͡˔·ོɁ̡̣̣̣̣̩̩̩̩✧✧ʕ̢̣̣̣̣̩̩̩̩·͡˔·ོɁ̡̣̣̣̣̩̩̩̩✧✧ʕ̢̣̣̣̣̩̩̩̩·͡˔·ོɁ̡̣̣̣̣̩̩̩̩✧✧ʕ̢̣̣̣̣̩̩̩̩·͡˔·ོɁ̡̣̣̣̣̩̩̩̩✧

* * *

Chapter 7: Now the adventure really begins.

**A note about Crazy Hand:**

**Crazy Hand, Master Hand's little brother, is a spontaneous destructive youth who cannot and will not stand still. While Master Hand enjoys creating and building things, Crazy Hand much prefers smashing and ruining them. But Crazy Hand isn't all that bad. It was ****reckoned**** by many that he had more than a few mental issues and a neediness for his brother. **

**Because of his mental issues, Crazy Hand was on a number of medications...well, at least he was supposed to be. No matter how much his older brother pleaded with him, he refused the drugs. Instead, he liked the feelings bubbling inside himself.**

* * *

"Nii-San! Wake up, Nii-san!" Mario heard an Italian accent rambling in his sleep. His head hurt. He'd rather not wake up. He wanted to sleep forever...

He felt somebody punch him in the stomach. Shocked he opened his eyes and threw a fireball at his attacker.

The fireball he threw was weak and small. It was deflected by someone he assumed was an enemy. However, it was his brother.

"Nii-San, you're-a awake! Thank goodness! Mama Mia, I was-a really worried!"

Mario looked into the eyes of his younger brother. "Where am I?"

"Mushroom Kingdom," Luigi answered.

Mushroom Kingdom?! Was he really there? This place did look familiar...

He replayed the last events before he had gone unconscious. They had been eating dinner, Meta Knight being Meta Knight decided everybody should dress fancy for a daily event. He had gotten a feeling, Shulk tried to steal his thunder. Then, then...

"Tabuu attacked!" Mario gasped trying to rise up quickly, colliding heads with Luigi.

"Ow, Nii-san! Calm down!" Luigi pushed Mario back down. Mario felt his head hit soft ground. The scent of grass entered his nostrils.

"Tabuu attacked! And he brought some lackeys! Then Ganondorf said that homophobic thing and got some hate from everybody. Then Crazy Hand crashed our ceiling! Then...then..."

What had happened after that, Mario wondered. His aching back and head were blocking memories. Luigi decided to fill in the gaps.

"Crazy Hand came down and pretty much destroyed the upper floors. The raining debris took care of a few of our members and stirred up a lot of trouble."

Mario nodded, that sounded right. They all had been stunned by the sudden falling of the house. He remembered R.O.B.O.T's head being dislodged by a falling tub and Mr. Game &amp; Watch being crushed by a lone piece of wood.

"I feel like we may have had a chance to come back if Tabuu hadn't brought out his secret weapon. We were all so shocked by Crazy Hand's appearance we didn't see the bomb."

"The bomb?" Mario asked.

Luigi nodded solemnly. "Yes, the Subspace bomb."

Mario's eyes widened. "No! You...you can't mean!"

Luigi gently put his hand atop of Mario's. "It's-a gone brother. That whole area is gone.

* * *

Crazy Hand shook the rubbish off of himself.

"Hello~ Party people~ Are you ready to rock? Because I'm ready to rock!" Crazy Hand cackled.

"Can't have one without the other, right?" Peach sighed twirling her parasol. "I do wish you could have been more courteous and entered through the hole your brother made."

Crazy Hand looked over at Peach and made a sound similar to slurping. "My, my~ It's the princess of Mushroom Kingdom. Might I say, Princess Peach, you're looking _mighty_ juicy today. I can't wait to squeeze you~"

"Gah!" Peach cried disgusted. Not that Crazy Hand noticed. He was gazing at all the rookie members. His fingers moving erratically.

"In fact, I can't wait to squeeze ALL of you~Such fresh faces too! Ah! You've collected so many new small boys too~ They're always the most fun to crush~" Crazy Hand finished, eyeing Villager.

Villager smiled.

Tabuu motioned for Crazy Hand, Master Hand, and the rest of his crew to join him. Link flinched as Ghirahim sat on Crazy Hand's finger.

"So, what do you want to do, Tabuu? You've-a already destroyed our household. You've-a terrorized the new members, and finally, you interrupted dinner. And that-a dinner, was pasta. What do you have to say for yourself?" Asked Mario.

Tabuu smiled. "All I have to say is this: Give up. Give up now. Become my trophies. If you do not, you will be destroyed. All of you will be destroyed. Your families and your worlds will be destroyed. And I will laugh. I will laugh at it all."

Link spoke, "We will never bow down to your will. Even if it means temporarily saving our worlds. WE SHALL NEVER BECOME YOUR TOYS!"

Tabuu nodded. "Alright then. Don't. You shall see. You shall see what it is like to be annihilated by the ones you suspect the least."

The ground rumbled. "What now?!" Wailed Toon Link.

A gurgling crunchy sound shook the building. Tabuu floated up with his comrades.

"Goodbye, Smash gang," Tabuu farewelled, disappearing in a white flash.

That is when the Smash gang saw it. Two of R.O.B.O.T's fellow friends attached to it. Their eyes distant. A Subspace Bomb.

The rookies wouldn't have noticed it but, this Subspace bomb was slightly different. Less bulky, a yellow line running down the middle, and...and...It WAS HUGE! As were the two R.O.B.O.T's attached to it! Like, really huge, like, Giga Koopa huge. HUGEEEE!

"We get it, author!" Mario screamed.

Okay, okay. Sheesh.

The two R.O.B.s parted and the timer went off.

"RUN!" Mario shouted.

* * *

Mario let out a deep breath. What happened after he had ordered them to run?! He remembered most everybody making a speedy getaway through the new door (hole) that Master Hand made. He remembered the shouting and encouraging words, then...nothing. Nothing at all.

"How did we get here? Why weren't we swallowed into Subspace?" Mario groggily asked.

Luigi cocked his head. "When the bomb went off we were all engulfed in its power. But we weren't in Subspace. We were in this strange blue place with a bunch of worlds and light," Luigi swallowed and removed his hat.

"Then the worst thing happened. A black hole appeared right in the center and eh, the rest of our building got sucked in with us. Needless to say, more than a few of us were hit by pieces of the house...including you, Nii-san."

That would explain his headache...

Luigi suddenly burst into tears. "Nii-san! I-I-I was so worried!

Mario flinched. He hated when dudes cried. He especially hated when his brother did. Made him look like a sissy.

Luigi sniffed and continued. "So, when the black hole appeared I realized something. Along the ends of the blue space were portals. The portals had moving pictures that looked like various worlds. That was when I saw it." Luigi paused.

Mario couldn't take these pauses, pauses were only there to heighten drama.

"A portal to Mushroom Kingdom. I was so happy to see something familiar. Without another thought I grabbed you and hopped through it!"

"What about the others?"

Luigi looked away uneasily.

"Well, I hope they're okay..."

"You hope?"

"Nii-San! What was I supposed to do?! Make sure everybody got someplace safe?" Luigi clasped his hands together, his eyes still shiny from tears.

Damn his puppy dog face.

Mario let a sigh and covered his face. "I'm-a their captain, yet, I was helpless myself in that situation. I feel like a failure. I hope they managed to make it out safely."

"Well, there were other portals to their hometowns, if that makes you feel-a any better."

For the second time that day, Mario shot up. "What did you-a say?!"

"I said there were other portals. I recognized a few of them as our members' hometowns."

"Then they might-a be alright!" Mario grasped Luigi's face in his hands. "I might-a not be a terrible captain after all!"

Luigi nodded slowly. He couldn't talk with Mario squeezing his cheeks together.

Mario looked around. "We're close to Mushroom Castle, aren't we?"

Luigi nodded.

Mario let go of Luigi's face and sprang up.

"Then, let's-a go! Let's-a go and see if anybody else made it here! Peach must have!"

Luigi nodded. His cheeks were numb from Mario's fierce grab.

So off the brothers went down the cobble road, hoping to find their mates.

Sadly, the world was just so recently, thrown into chaos. Their friends would be hard to find.


	9. Visit to Peach's Castle

Author Note:

I'm back on schedule!

Read, review, and enjoy!

❀‿❀

* * *

Chapter 8: Visit to Peach's castle.

**A note about Kinopio: Kinopio Joseph Toadsworth Mushroom, called "Kino-Kun" by close friends, was Princess Peach's Lady-in-Waiting (He had a problem with people commenting about his position). And one of her most faithful workers. Kinopio while always at his lady's beck and call had a surprising attitude problem and would rather be playing his 3Ds than helping Peach into dresses. This was his job however and he did indeed love his princess.**

**On the days when the Princess was out (which seemed to happen often) he was fully in charge of keeping the castle and state running. You would think he'd feel this was an honor, instead, he felt it a great hassle...**

* * *

"Sir Kinopio, two guests are here to see you," a normal Toadette announced.

Kinopio looked up from his nail filer. "If these are two more hysterical Koopas, I don't want to see them."

The Toadette shook her head. "No, Sir Kinopio, it's actually two of your dear friends."

Kinopio let out a loud groan. "Tell Jackson and Freddy that I don't have time for poker night!"

The Toadette shook her head once more. "No, it isn't Sir Jackson or Sir Freddy."

Kinopio put down his filer. "Stop shaking your head and just tell me already!" Kinopio shouted.

The Toadette jumped at the increase in volume and shrunk back. "It is Mario and Luigi, Sir. They have urgent news.

Kinopio sighed. "Yeah, them and the rest of the world.

* * *

Mario huffed into the sitting room. Jogging ten miles toward Mushroom Kingdom kicked the air out of him. Luigi on the other hand, seemed fine.

"Nii-San, you're rather out of shape, aren't you?"

"Shut up, Pencil Neck," Mario wheezed.

Luigi self consciously touched his skinny neck.

Both of the brothers sat in the fancy chairs the castle had to offer. A young Toadette walked over to serve them. Handing them both a cup she poured steaming tea in each one. While she did this, Mario studied the chairs more closely. They were pink.

"Yeesh, I-a understand that Peach's favourite color is pink but, does everything have to be-a this color?"

Luigi shrugged. "Everything in Daisy's castle is yellow."

"Speaking of Daisy, how are-a things between you guys?"

Luigi's eyes lit up. "Oh Nii-san, it is-a going great! In fact I'm-a thinking of popping the question! Any day now!"

Mario sipped his tea. "Really? Here I thought you guys had-a broken up."

Luigi looked at his brother, hurt. "Why did you-a even ask then?!"

"Because I thought your pride was too big to admit you two were done. So I was given you an opening."

"You're-a jerk sometimes, Nii-san."

Mario returned his attention to the bubblegum chairs. "Seriously, I love Peach but, she can have bad taste sometimes."

The Toadette who was serving them spoke. "Actually, Sir Kinopio designed these chairs. He has a wonderful eye for the color salmon, no?"

First, Mario wondered why the Toadette didn't just say pink. Salmon was a fish, not a color in his mind.

Second, Kinopio's taste was garbage to Mario.

"Okay..." Mario rolled his eyes.

Luigi nodded towards the Toadette. "Thank you very much. This tea is lovely."

The Toadette's face glowed. "I shall tell the chef that!" she said before curtsying and leaving the room.

Mario took another sip of his tea. The taste was magnificent. The earthy flavors of the Koopa leaves mixed with the spiciness of the Fire Flower made him want to close his eyes and drift away.

Sadly that was not an option.

**SLAM! **

The sitting room's door burst open and hit the wall so hard a dent was made. Mario and Luigi startled at the sound, dropping their tea and ruining the luxurious magenta carpet.

Waltzing in with a twinkling flat screen in tow, Kinopio in his freshest vest, checked the brothers out.

"Mario, Luigi, so pleasant to see you guys again." Kinopio said warmly.

The brothers were pleased with such a cordial greeting. Which then Kinopio ruined with his next words.

"I see you two dumb meatballs already messed up the carpet. My god, someone help me," Kinopio finished, laying a chubby hand on his forehead.

The Mario Brothers looked at each other. It was gonna be one of those days. Luigi cleared his throat.

"Kino-Kun, how good to see you too. We have some grave news to tell you," Luigi said solemnly.

Kinopio raised a non-existing eyebrow. He would do that a lot in the story. Wait, you know what, just think of it as his default expression unless I say otherwise.

"I bet you do~ But you know what, I have even greater news to tell you."

"But-" Luigi said trying to get their story across first.

"Bitch! You need to see this!" Kinopio yelled switching on the flat-screen.

Luigi shrank back, and along with Mario, watched the moving pictures.

A young pretty Goomba was speaking. It reminded Mario of this one lass he used to hang about with. She had golden hair and carried a book around, so pretty she was. Had Mario been a Goomba, he'd probably have went for her.

Ewww...TMI Mario.

"What?!" Said Mario loudly. "I thought 'If'! 'If'!"

"Nii-San, who are you talking to?" Luigi looked anxiously at him.

"Wait, you didn't hear her?" Mario couldn't believe it.

"Hear who, Nii-san? There is nobody but us!"

"Your brother's probably hallucinating." Kinopio determined.

They can't hear me at the moment, Mario. Only you.

"That's-a BULL!"

"Nii-san! Are you alright?!" Luigi was really getting worried now.

The author will just state that at times, only one person can hear her interjections to the story. So it is best that the person who can only hear her, shut-up for the sake of seeming sane. Understand, Mario?

Mario grumbled in defeat.

"Are you done, Mario? Yes? Good. Listen to the lady." Kinopio sat down in a salmon-colored chair and turned up the TV.

The female Goomba was interviewing a renowned Toad scientist with a sweet mustache.

"Have you ever seen anything like this, Professor Louis Mushroom?" the Goomba asked, holding the mike incredible close to his face.

Louis Mushroom shook his head. "Never in my days as a scientist, have I witnessed such a phenomenon. Truly puzzling and outstanding it is."

Both Luigi and Mario leaned closer to the screen.

A diagram popped up with numerous arrows and notes. The brothers recognized it as a simple map of most of the known worlds.

"Here, you see us, the Mushroom World, which holds many different monarchies and is home to multiple species." Louis Mushroom began tapping the kingdoms held within the world.

"Right next to us, in a whole other world, Angel Land, where Lady Palutena, Goddess of Light rules. Next to and below them are the Lylat system and Pac-Man Land.

Tapping the screen once more, Louis Mushroom brought up several other images. "Now, while these worlds have always been separate, we've been able to engage them through advances in technology, and more importantly, Warp Spaces.

Mario nodded. Good old Warp Spaces. You couldn't live without them.

"Warp Spaces have allowed us to travel through many Kingdoms. We've gained friendships, wares, and allies through them. In fact, my wife and I just last year enjoyed a pampered vacation in Hyrule." A dopey grin stretched across the professor's face as he swam through the memory.

"Um, Professor, if you could continue please," the reporter coughed.

"Oh, yes! So continuing, these spaces have been around for as long as anybody's memory stretches. However, recently these spaces have vanished from our country."

Mario twisted his head to look at Kinopio, who refused to meet his gaze, mostly out of the hassle of turning his head. "Wait, what did he-a say?!"

Kinopio turned up the television louder.

"And by way of technology we've found that quite a few other worlds are experiencing the same problem. Their Warp Spaces, too, have disappeared."

An audible gulp could be heard from Luigi.

The reporter, though handless, somehow adjusted her microphone. "Could you please explain what this means for our worlds, Professor?"

Louis Mushroom stared into the screen in his most dramatic way.

"It means we have no means of leaving our world. We have no means of escaping, no means of calling out for help from our allies. People who have left their country and family momentarily, are now _stuck_ in a foreign world. It is truly awful. It has thrown everything out of order."

"Is there nothing we can do?"

Louis Mushroom shook his head. "Not at the moment. We scientists are desperately trying to figure out a way to fix this whole conundrum. However, that doesn't seem likely very soon. So please, everyone, try and keep calm."

That was easier said than done.

Kinopio turned off the TV and faced the two Italians.

"Told you it was important."

Mario and Luigi stayed quiet a couple of seconds. Then, the eldest brother spoke up.

"I can't-a believe it...We're stuck?!

Kinopio nodded. "And you won't believe all the drama I've had to put up with. People are _freaking_ out! I'm like, 'Like Ya'll even left this world to begin with! Bunch of shut-ins!' but _noooooo _they come to me and ask how **I'M **gonna fix this. I'm like, 'Bitch, no.' At least that's what I want to tell them. Of course I have to be all polite and say-" Kinopio's rant was cut off by Mario.

"Why do you have to take all-a the heat? What-a bout Peach? It's her kingdom," Mario said removing his hat. Sweat had collecting on his brow. Luigi had done the same, only unlike Mario, he was shivering in a cold sweat. The news had hit him hard.

Kinopio looked at Mario, his expression a mixture of bitterness and pity. "Because Mario, your girlfriend isn't here right now."

It was Mario's turn to gulp. "What do you-a mean, she's not here right now?"

Kinopio folded his arms, and with a smile that edged on joyful maliciousness said,

"Your princess is in another castle."

* * *

Come on guys, you know I had to.

Note. Kinopio=Toad. If you guys couldn't guess. ;P


	10. Two Eskimos and a Blue-haired guy

Chapter 9: Two Eskimos and a Blue-haired-guy walk into a portal...

**A note about Ike: Ike, Leader of the Greil Mercenaries and Hero of the Mad King's war, was young simple man. He took joy in adventuring and battling it out with his buddies. Blunt in his mannerisms, the Vanguard often said things that rubbed people the wrong way or made them uncomfortable. This was however was almost always forgiven, for it was obvious he was a good man at heart.**

**Recently Ike, (along with several other males of the Smash Household) was being pursued by numerous female admires. Ike rebuffed all of these advances, jokingly commenting he liked meat better than any type of romance. There was one girl whom he couldn't rebuff though. She was the only girl who ever made meat taste bitter to him...**

* * *

Popo sat sandwiched between an ornery Nana and an uncomfortable Ike. They had been riding in a carriage for the past hour, meaning Popo had been stuck for the past hour. The young male Eskimo tried making conversation several times. Ike being Ike answered in a short gruff manner, Nana being Nana... just glared.

Popo let out an unwieldy sigh.

"What's the matter with you?" Nana spoke, shocking Popo.

"Oh! Um, well...It's just...um...this ride sure is taking a long time! My legs are starting to fall asleep!" Popo grinned nervously, eyeing Nana's hammer. A hammer which exactly one hour and thirty minutes ago, had hit him square in the head.

Nana stood up in her seat and yelled out to their driver. "Can we please stop for a moment? My brother wants to walk around."

Popo wondered what else could make this trip feel longer.

* * *

"Come on, Popo!" Nana cried, holding her hand out. Popo took hold of his sister's hand.

The portal the Ice Climbers were trying to get to played a vision of a snow white land. Their home world.

"Ah," Nana lost her footing in the strange blue world, the black hole had destroyed most of her grace and turned her into a klutz.

Without a word Popo heaved her up and shoved her towards the portal. "If that doesn't look like home, I don't know what does!" He gave Nana his usual smile. She returned it.

Well, at least if their second home was being destroyed, they always had their first one to go to.

Jumping through the portal, they tumbled down into the frosty air.

* * *

The first thought the Ice Climbers had was that they were thankful for the parkas they wore daily. The second was, where the heck were they? Looking around, the snow had blanketed everything. Houses looked like giant igloos and trees like pristine Popsicles. Nana scooped up a handful and packed it into a snowball.

"The snowfall sure is heavy for this season," Nana observed.

Popo nodded and began to search his surroundings. Nana did the polar opposite as she sat down to build a snow house.

Popo listened to his content sister's hums while studying the layout of the place. First, the houses looked more than strange. They were outright bizarre for their homeworld. Next were the trees. There were two types of trees in their world:

No trees, and no trees.

Popo gulped. He had a feeling they weren't in Kansas...

With a sneaking suspicion traveling up his spine, he gently brushed frost off a lone sign.

The sign read this: _**Welcome to Crimea, Peace for all.**_

_Awww, shit! _Popo thought.

Popo tried to figure out a way to break the news to Nana. He liked his teeth, he liked his bones, and he liked his hair. But he realized that one of them would have to be sacrificed. He juggled the options.

Luckily our dear friend Popo didn't have to figure out a way to tell her. The thudding footsteps approaching did it for him.

"Hey, what are you two doing in Crimea?" a deep voice asked.

Popo and Nana turned to face it.

Standing in all his blue glory, a puzzled Ike looked down on them.

_Awww, double shit!_ Popo thought frantically. Nana began to stand.

Popo with his lightning fast mind and speed ran in front of Ike.

"Hey! Hey! It's Ike! A _friend!_ He can help us navigate this place!" His face stretched out in an unbelievably painful grin.

Nana raised an eyebrow at her brother's behavior. Did he really think she'd get violent with one of the only comrades they had here? She had a bit of beef with Ike, but she wasn't stupid.

Well, until Ike opened his mouth.

"Of course I will help you guys navigate this place. Just like Nana said, we're friends. And I fight for my friends."

Nana's mouth twitched.

Popo's head dropped along with his stomach. Today the Ice Climbers had decided on matching blue parkas. Popo would regret that decision for a long time.

"_YOU STUPID FREAKING MORON! YOU ARE THE BIGGEST IDIOT IN EXISTENCE! YOU MAKE DIDDY SEEM SMART! HELL, YOU MAKE GAME &amp; WATCH SEEM SMART!_**"**

That's not really fair to Diddy, but hey.

"**YOU MUST BE THE BIGGEST DUMBASS EVER! WHY DON'T YOU USE THE EYES THAT YOU WERE GIVEN! AND LOOK DAMMIT!" **

Oh shoot, she said it in bold.

Ike began to back away.

"_**YOU MAKE ME SICK! YOU STUPID, MORONIC, NEANDERTHAL! GO TO HELL!"**_

And she said it both bold and italic. Poor, poor, Ike.

Appearing from nowhere Nana threw her hammer. With the speed she mustered it became a fiery projectile.

Ike made an attempt to run, but ended up tripping over his heavy boots.

"Dammit! I thought they got rid of the stupid random tripping!" He wailed.

They did, I just brought it back for drama.

Coming in like a missile, Nana's hammer blazed with such a blinding light Ike had to shut his eyes and cover his face. The thought of the pain he would soon face terrified him.

But he didn't have to face that pain.

Popo thinking he could deflect Nana's hammer with an ice cube did a dumb hero move. He ran in front of Ike.

Well, more like he tripped in front of Ike.

"DARN YOU, SAKURAI!" Popo cried before being walloped by the burning hammer.

**_*KLONK_*******

Popo went down in a haze.

* * *

Popo touched the newly formed dent in his head. He woke up in the thirty minutes later in the carriage, his head in his sister's lap. She seemed genuinely sorry about the incident and had apologized numerous times. He accepted, but right after, he heard her say under her breath bitingly:

"But you shouldn't have defended that blue prick."

Yeah, Popo wondered how he was gonna get out of this mess.

"Hey, Ike! How long until we get to your sister's house?" Popo asked pulling down his Parka to see better. Nana had done the same earlier, but not to see better. It was so that Ike could easily tell them apart. Although she'd never admit that.

Ike rubbed his arms. Now he knew looking sexy was a priority, (the more ladies who liked him, the more his paycheck increased) but man, he wished he had sleeves! "We're almost there. It's strange though, during this time of year the roads are usually packed. Riding to my sister's house should have taken another hour.

Popo thanked the universe for the empty roads.

"Well, I've had my fill of fresh air, let's head off again!" said Popo eagerly.

* * *

Shivering, Ike knocked on the heavy wooden door. He sure hoped his sister was home. For all he knew she was off on vacation with the rest of the Greil Mercenaries. If that was the case, he could kiss his sweet ass goodbye. He felt he wouldn't be able to stop Nana if she decided his time on earth should end.

Rustling, the sound of a window opening above, a short gasp and light whispering footsteps were heard. A woman with round blue eyes opened the door. Her scarf fluttered as the breeze hit her.

"Mist!" Ike exclaimed happily. Mist without a word jumped out of the doorway and into her brother's arms.

"Onii-chan! Onii-chan, what are you doing here?!" Mist cried into his shoulder.

Ike hugged Mist a little tighter. He hadn't realized how much he missed his family. "It's a long story, Mist. I brought friends. We should talk about everything inside."

Mist let go of Ike and nodded quickly. "There's a lot I have to tell you, too!" She looked over at the Ice Climbers, acknowledging both of them with a friendly smile. "The Ice Climbers, right? Popo and Nana, right?"

"Yes, that's us! I'm Nana, and this is Popo!" Nana motioned towards her older brother who nodded shyly.

Mist gave a little laugh. "Oh don't worry! I knew who was who right from the start! You have really beautiful hair if I may add, Nana!"

Nana knew she would like this girl.

* * *

Nana sat in a comfy chair. Popo sat beside her in an identical one. Mist led her brother to the biggest chair and roughly pushed him into it.

"Hey!" Ike yelped, indignant.

"Oops, sorry Onii-chan!" She smiled apologetically. "I'm going to go make some tea before we discuss anything. Don't be picky, okay?" She wagged her finger in a jokingly stern way at Ike.

Ike glanced over at the Ice Climbers, more specifically, Nana.

"Hey, let me help you with that tea!" Ike said shooting out of his seat. Mist furrowed her brow. "You really want to help? You can't even boil water, Onii-chan."

He grabbed Mist squarely on her shoulders and began pushing her towards the kitchen. "It's about time I learned!" Both siblings disappeared into the kitchen.

The Ice Climbers now left alone, stared at each other. Silent.

1...2...3...4...5...the silence broke.

"What the hell is your problem, NANA?! You're like a freaking Attila the Hun of late!"

"My problem?! I don't have a problem with _YOU, _Popo! I have a problem with the Ike! You only got hurt because you protected him, like an idiot!"

"That's what heroes do, Nana! We protect people! We protect our friends! FRIENDS ARE IMPORTANT!"

"Don't give me any of that Nakama shit right now!"

"You're only mad at Ike because he confused you for me! A boy! And you can't stand the thought!"

"Puh-lease, Popo! Don't lie and say you didn't get a teeny bit upset when you realized he thought you were me!"

"I didn't! Thank you very much! It's an honest mistake!"

"Is it, squeaky voice?!"

"What are you trying to say?!"

"I'm saying _maybe _he wouldn't confuse either of us if you actually sounded like a man!"

Popo flinched at that. He knew his voice was higher than Nana's. But that didn't mean he liked having it pointed out.

"Oh really, Nana? I always assumed the reason he thought you were me the day of the "Incident" was because you act like a dude!"

"I do not act like a dude!"

"You clod down the stairs like the freaking Hulk! You grunt when you're angry! And you probably don't even know what a demi-cup bra is!"

"How many people my age know that?! You don't even know that!"

"A demi-cup bra covers half the breast while still providing support! It is good to wear when you wanna sport a low cut top!" Popo shouted informatively.

Nana's jaw went slack for a moment.

"How do you know that?!" She screamed.

"Because I browse the internet!"

"No," Nana's lips went up in a taunting smile, "You know because you're a girl!"

Popo hopped up kung fu style at that last sentence. Nana was ready, hammer in hand. This would be, an epic fight.

* * *

Both Ike and Mist had heard the beginnings of the squabble. While they weren't able to make out what they were arguing about, they could tell it was heated.

"Great, why do they have to argue in my house? I'm going to break it up before it gets out of hand," Mist began to walk out. Ike however, pulled her back in.

"No! Let's not! I mean, just let them argue! T-this is normal!"

Mist looked carefully at Ike. "Onii-chan, are you sweating?"

And it was a cold sweat too, Mist.

Ike put both hands on Mist's shoulders and leaned closer towards her.

"Look," he whispered, "Believe me when I say this, you do NOT want to get in the path of a raging Climber. It's bad."

Mist was unimpressed. "You're huge, Onii-Chan. You've fought the dragon _king _for _g_oddess sake! Heck you fought a _goddess_! Please tell me you're not afraid of some elementary school kids!"

"You weren't stabbed by one of those, 'elementary school kids'! I was!"

Mist's eyes darkened. "They did what to you?"

Ike at that moment remembered how frightening Mist could be at times. So, while not on good terms with the Ice Climbers, he wouldn't wish Mist's blind fury onto them. Or on anyone, for that matter.

* * *

Popo fell to the ground with a cartoon-y "THUD". Nana stood over him, hammer above.

"Say your prayers, Popo!"

"But I'm not religious!" Popo cried out covering his face with his hands.

A gust of wind blew in from the window. A second ago it had been closed, before Popo's foot hit it with a satisfying smash. White snow floated in and a newspaper laying on the table, blew into Popo's face.

Curious, Nana lowered her hammer and picked it up.

"Warp Spaces, gone from our lives?" Nana read eyes widening.

"What?!" Popo squawked.

The door to the kitchen flew open with an almighty whack. Ike wrapped around Mist like a fabulous cloak, tried desperately to stop her from leaving the room.

"Please don't, Mist!"

"I'm going to make whoever did it wish they had never left their mother's womb!"

Nana looked over at the struggling pair. Taking advantage of the opportunity, Popo snatched the paper from her hands and uttered with fake vigor: "Hey, what's all this about?!"

* * *

Sipping a piping hot lemonade tea, Ike finally felt at peace. Even though he had recently found out that there was in fact no way to leave his world, it was his world, so he was happy being here. Popo and Nana were despondently staring into their drinks.

"That's the whole story. Most of the country has become nutty with this event happening. The Greil Mercenaries and I meant to take a vacation to Isle Delfino, but this came up. You're lucky, Onii-chan. I wouldn't have been here if things had worked out." Mist looked out of one eye at her brother.

"Sorry you guys couldn't go," Ike grunted.

Mist placed her cup on a frilly doily. "It's the least of our problems. In order to come up with a solution to this problem, Queen Elincia has ordered the Greil Mercenaries and me to attend her castle". Here Mist smiled. "I think Queen Elincia will be happy to see you, Onii-chan."

"I hope she is."

"Well, she's been having problems with Geoffrey."

"Wait, what?"

"Nothing, nothing..." Mist looked towards the Ice Climbers.

"Will you accompany us, Popo, Nana?"

The siblings looked at each other. Stared into each other's eyes. The communication that cultivates over the years between a pair of siblings was at work. Without either pair of lips moving, they had agreed upon a decision...In unison they spoke:

"Hell no!"


	11. Angelic Ruin

Chapter 10: Angelic ruin.

**A note about Angel Land: Angel Land, the land in which angels reside, was a beautiful land of prosperity and peace. Holding equal rights for all, clean air, resplendent scenery, and a sparkling leader. The whole land was considered grand to most, if not all. That being said Angel Land had more than its share of problems. While the reigning Palutena did her best to keep the land clean and free from trouble, issues still popped up quite often. Of late, this was mostly gang activities and the peddling of contraband. But that was alright! As long as Palutena had her valiant warrior, Pit, things would work out. Yes...things would work out alright... **

* * *

"Ahh~" Palutena stretched her arms and laid them on the side of the luxurious tub. The lavender scented water reflected the overhead lights and illuminated the goddess' pale legs. A small servant with teal wings walked over to the tub. She looked anxious, or maybe that was the steam, Palutena couldn't really tell.

"Yes, is there an issue that needs attending?~" Palutena smiled leaning her head back.

"Erm, ma'am, is this really alright?" the angel asked.

"What do you mean?" Palutena looked up at her servant.

"Is it really okay for you to be so calm during this time! I mean, ma'am! The world is ending as we know it!" the angel cried, tears in her throat.

Palutena looked more closely at the girl. She realized the girl could use a freshening bath too. She could also use a haircut, a face buffer, and a more relaxed disposition. Palutena wondered if she had a boyfriend.

"It will be just fine, dear. The world won't end just because we have no way of leaving anymore. The grass is always bluer on the other side. Perhaps people will learn to love their own grass more, since they have no way of escaping it." Palutena said.

The angel would have raised an eyebrow if Palutena wasn't their leader. "Do you mean the grass is always _greener_ on the other side, Lady Palutena?"

Palutena nodded. "Yes! I meant that."

"I understand where your logic comes from, Lady Palutena. (No she didn't) But don't you at least think you should call a public meeting in order to calm the masses?"

"That can wait until after my bath. My subjects won't destroy themselves while I become presentable." Palutena lifted a bottle of shampoo and squirted a lavish amount in her hand.

"This shampoo smells like watermelon! You should try it sometimes!" Palutena said cheerfully.

Her servant gave her a wavering smile.

_We're doomed..._ she thought.

* * *

"An Onsen? ? ONSEN!~~!" Pit clasped his hands together in utter glee. Black Pit scoffed at his "brother".

"Who cares about a freakin' onsen? Aren't you supposed to be meeting Palutena-Whoa, wait, you're not getting in, are you?!" Black Pit watched as Pit began peeling off his clothing.

"Of course I'm getting in, Blapi!" Pit grinned at him, loosening his belt.

"I thought you didn't want anybody to see your butt," Black Pit said.

Pit stopped his motions as his brow furrowed. He seemed to be deep in thought. With brows straightened, he gave another big smile.

"I don't care if you see my butt, cuz our butts are the same!" He resumed removing his clothing.

Black Pit was speechless for a moment. He would never admit it but, the thought of having the same butt as Pit, terrified and embarrassed him. Yes, he knew that their bodies were almost _exactly_ the same. But there were differences! There were! And Black Pit was sure, their butts were one of them.

"Psh, our butts are not the same." Black Pit leaned against a damp wall.

"Our bodies are identical! That means everything, Blapi, everything~" Pit's smile took on a more mischievous inclination. The glint in his eyes told Black Pit that Pit had a vague understanding of his working thoughts. That pissed Black Pit off.

"Our eyes aren't identical! Our hair isn't! Hell, our wings aren't! What part of 'identical' is that?!" Black Pit glared at his brother.

Pit removed his tunic with a flourish and swung it overhead like a stripper. "Those are little things! Still, we have the same body!"

Black Pit raised an eyebrow.

"You think we have the exact same body, teeny weenie?"

Pit turned on his doppelganger. "What did you just say?"

Black Pit smirked. "Did I stutter?"

Pit dropped his shirt and lunged for him.

* * *

Palutena's heels clicked on the porcelain ground as she neared the male onsen. She understood from one of her servants that both of her boys had entered it. She felt the need to retrieve them before giving an announcement. Nearing the large door she held up her hand to knock.

"Just show me, Blapi!" Pit's distinct yell paused Palutena's hand.

"No! And stop calling me 'Blapi'!"

Palutena wasn't particularly nosy, however, this fight sounded like it would be very cute. Maybe even informative. With a small smile the goddess placed her ear to the door.

"I wanna compare! If yours is so big, you should be happy!"

"Don't touch me there, idiot! I'm not showing you anything."

_Are they finally at that stage? My little boys are growing up! _Palutena thought with a smile.

Pit's voice raised an octave higher. Whether this was purposeful are not the goddess didn't know.

"Are you still mad about those porn mags?! You know if I had known you were gay, I would have bought you ones with guys! You know I would have!"

The audible sound of a punch ricocheted off the walls.

"For the last effing time, I am not gay!"

Palutena realized this was obviously turning into a fight. Now she had to decide: Continue to eavesdrop as the boys took turns using each other as punching bags...or be the responsible adult she was and stop this mess this instant. Looks like she would choose the latter...in a second.

"You're such a jerk, Blapi! I bet you're like that cuz you're overcompensating for something~" Pit taunted.

"...You wanna go, goddess shit?"

"Bring it, Blapi."

At that moment, Palutena knocked. "Pit, Black Pit, may I come in?"

"Gach! Lady Palutena! Wait one moment!" she heard Pit frantically cry.

"We should just let her in." Black Pit deadpanned.

"No! I'm only wearing my shorts! I don't wanna let her see!"

"If it makes you feel any better, Pit, I have seen you naked multiple times before," Palutena said.

"That was before I got older!" Pit wailed.

"You're acting as if anything grew from that time..." Black Pit said.

"Are we seriously still doing this?!" Pit moaned. Palutena could hear him fussing with his clothing.

"I would love to hear you boys continue fussing about penile size, however there is a serious matter happening and I need my angels," Palutena said.

**WHAM!**

The door to the onsen opened. Pit in a half-on tunic and a red face had slammed it open.

"AHHHHH! I can't believe you said that, Lady Palutena! You were eavesdropping, weren't you!"

The author here has always wondered why people who shout consider it eavesdropping when it's like they're talking to the whole world.

"My thoughts exactly," Palutena nodded.

Although to be fair to Pit, your ear was on that door.

"Lady Palutena, how could you?!" Pit shouted.

"Oh calm down, Pit, don't act like you haven't ever eavesdropped!" Palutena said.

"I've never eavesdropped on you!"

Palutena narrowed her eyes, "really Pit, you think I'm falling for that one?"

Pit pushed a strand of hair out of his eyes. "I only ever eavesdropped to hear what I was getting for my birthday!"

"Oh I knew it!" Palutena cried.

Black Pit flew past both of them towards the main room. "Come on, 'perfect goddess' I thought you had a public announcement to begin."

"Oh, Wooper! He's right!" Palutena clasped Pit's hand and ran towards the main hall.

Really Palutena, Wooper?

"It's better than spewing profanities!"

That's true, but 'Wooper' is really cheesy. Maybe the author shouldn't judge, as she did say "Raticate" as an expression quite a bit as a youngster.

"Wooper sounds bad..." Pit mumbled.

"Alright, I get it! I won't ever say it again!"

Now that we have that out of the way, let's get back to the story.

"Yeah! Let's!" A voice from above echoed into the hall.

The goddess and the angels stopped.

"What was that?" Palutena said.

"You mean, who is that!" The young voice shouted. The intricately designed ceiling, painted with dainty images of angels, cracked.

"Oh, Raticate," Palutena said.

The beauteous ceiling gave way under the pressure from above. Falling along with the ceiling, a group of ChuChus and Like Like hit the ground with a giant quake. One ChuChu with a twirly mustache and a pair of goggles scooched forward.

"Wassup, dorks!" the ChuChu smirked.

"I think you could have been more hurtful than 'dorks', in my opinion," Palutena said.

"How about this then, WHAT'S UP, HOS!" A lavender figure shouted flipping down from the hole.

Vio in all his purple glory hit the ground without as much as a noise.

"Hey!" Pit exclaimed, "You can't call us, 'hos'! You don't even know us!"

Vio tipped his head to the side. "I've seen those pictures of you. All of you seem ho-ish to me."

"I've never even been in a relationship!" Palutena said offended.

Vio waved her words away. "Sweetheart, everybody has the potential to be a ho. Including you."

Pit looked at Palutena's darkening face, a thought popped into him.

"What do my pictures look like?" Pit asked.

Palutena made an audible noise of distress and Black Pit yanked at his tunic, irritated. Pit studied both of their reactions.

"What, are they that bad?" Pit now sounded even more intrigued.

"Please don't delve into this subject right now, Pit. How about you and Blapi take out Vio while I handle his army."

"I'm not helping you guys fight, I don't work for you," Black Pit said, arms folded.

Both the angel and goddess started complaining. Vio adjusted his hat as his lips slipped into a pretty smile.

"Come on, Blapi! I thought we got over this! You gotta help me!" Pit groaned loudly.

"You do realize the fate of THIS world is being questioned, you do realize that?" Palutena said.

Black Pit shrugged. "Your problems, not mine."

"YOU LIVE HERE!" Pit screeched.

"NO, I LIVE ON THE SURFACE!" Black Pit shouted, matching Pit's volume.

"BUT YOU VISIT ALL THE TIME! YOU'RE SUCH A BASTARD!" Pit howled.

Palutena became a flesh shield between the two feuding boys. Both had their hands balled into fists and their eyes hardened, battle ready.

"Stop bickering you two! Blapi, I can't force you to fight, but your help would be greatly appreciated. Pit, focus that anger onto our enemies!"

"Fine!" Pit turned to his enemies.

"Evil ones lurking in the void! Hear my voice! Cleanse your minds! The goddess of light, Palutena's messenger, Pit! Has. Appeared. HERE!" He yelled striking a magical girl pose rife with bishie sparkles.

The fog of Pit's glitter was so thick a few stupid Like Likes even choked on it.

"You were almost as fabulous as me for a moment," Vio acknowledged.

"You won't be fabulous for long, you dumb pixie!" Pit yelled jumping towards him, bow in hand.

Vio removed his sword and met Pit with equal energy. Palutena twirled her staff at the distinguished looking ChuChu. The ChuChu's name happened to be Pipo if you were curious.

"I really do dislike fighting, but I suppose if my country is in danger I shall forfeit that attitude at the moment!"

The ChuChu whipped out a katana and pointed it at the goddess. "Bite me, Princess! Glory for all ChuChus!"

A few ChuChu cheered while the Like Likes made dissatisfied sounds. They wanted glory too.

"Why are you attacking us! Why not attack Toon Link?!" Pit cried slashing at Vio. Vio dodged and deflected a few of Pit's moves. Pit kicked upward at Vio's hands and watched with satisfaction as he dropped his sword like a hot poker.

"Aww, Fu—Owh!" Vio took a kick to the stomach, through his tearing eyes, he saw Pit's grin.

"This is what happens when you mess with Palutena's army! Right, Lady Palutena?!"

Palutena dashed into Pipo and swung her staff at advancing ChuChus. This was tiresome, why hadn't she made Pit fight them?

"Of course, Pit! Please shut up and fight!" Palutena shot light beams at Pipo. Doing a little jig he jumped out of the way and cut her ankle ninja style.

"Oh, you little-! Ah, wait!" Palutena yelped, a Like Like and swallowed her non-dominate arm and ate her shield. It felt disgusting, like a wet dank slimy cave had French-kissed her limb.

"Give that back, you vile hole of vomit!" Palutena grabbed at the offending Like Like and with a shudder, stuck her hand down it's throat.

Pit wanted to help his boss out, he really did, but she could handle it! Besides, he had to take care of Vio.

Pit shot towards Vio and grabbed him by his violet tunic. Struggling Vio kicked Pit in the stomach and sank his teeth into his bare arm. Pit let go.

"Ow! You-Ach!" Pit's face disappeared into a plume of colorful smoke.

"How do you like my bombs, loser!" Vio yelled tauntingly. He removed his boomerang and threw it towards our angel.

"I don't like them very much!" Pit screamed trying to block the incoming boomerang.

Vio facepalmed. "That wasn't a question!"

Yeah Pit, get with it.

"Author! Please don't be mean to me too! You're supposed to be on our side!"

"Yes! You are supposed to be cheering for us!" Palutena said regally.

Alright! Alright! I'm sorry!

"I still want a little love..." Vio mumbled.

A heavenly blue light filled the room for a split second as Palutena washed away a swarm of Like Like and ChuChu.

"You never answered Pit's question. Why are you attacking us?! Attack Toon Link! You two seem to have some issues!" Palutena shouted.

Vio let out a sharp whistle. "Does it matter?!"

"To us, yes!" The goddess and angel yelled in unison.

"Because to find Toon Link now would mean destroying him too easily! Knowing him he's most likely obtaining allies. I cannot wait to crush him and every single person he loves!"

"Wait, but you are him! Why would you want to kill the people you love?"

Vio's raised his shield to stop Pit incoming slice. With gritted teeth he said, "He and I come from the same body, but not the same mind! I can't stand whom he keeps company with! Nor can I like, stand him! Tabuu's given me a great opportunity to take him out. Then I shall be the one and true lone Link! I shall never just be 'Vio' again!"

Sounds like somebody has some insecurity problems...

"I like, do not!" Vio screeched cutting a gash into Pit's thigh.

"Ouch! I'm happy you have shared your pent up feelings, but I'm mad you still came after us! And like (Pit was starting to pick up Vio's speech habits) I have another question!"

Vio hookshot a ChuChu and like a true gangsta, used him as a shield. The ChuChu's face contorted with pain as it burst from Pit's attack.

"Fine! Since I'm in an answering mood anyway you might as well like, give it a go!"

"What are those pictures you were talking about?! What do they depict?!"

Both Palutena and Black Pit groaned from the back of their throats. Pit ignored them and focused intently on Vio.

Vio shrugged. "You showing off your tights and getting snuggle-y with your brother."

Pit's face slipped into an expression of relief. "That's all! Here I thought I was doing some weird stuff! Of course I'd be hugging Blapi, I love him!"

Black Pit made a gagging nose here.

Vio raised an eyebrow. "You do know by 'snuggle-y' I meant 'humping' right?"

Pit's mouth fell open.

Black Pit couldn't look in his direction, his face had taken on a stormy disposition.

Palutena pretended to be too busy fighting to look Pit's way.

"I-I-I'M DOING WHAT?!"

"You're not special, dear, Rule 34 affects everybody."

And he means everybody...

Pit crossed his arms into an X. "Time out!" Everybody stopped fighting and looked at the near-hysterical angel.

Pit turned to his brother, lip quivering. Black Pit's eyebrow twitched and Pit could have sworn he was blushing slightly.

"You, you, why didn't you tell me about this! You let some guy off the streets teach me!" He grabbed Black Pit's shoulders and leaned onto him.

"I thought you knew!" Black Pit exclaimed pushing Pit off.

Pit gulped and turned towards Palutena. She flinched.

"Did, did you know, Lady Palutena?"

Palutena coughed and smoothed her dress down. "Yes Pit, I knew."

"She probably has downloaded a few of them, she likes that type of stuff~" Vio sang.

Palutena reddened. "I have not done any sort of thing! What type of woman do you think I am!"

The type who enjoys the BL.

"You are not helping, author."

"If it makes you feel better, they have, like you and Palutena too~" Vio continued.

Pit sucked in air and shouted, "IT DOESN'T! SHE'S LIKE MY MOM!" He then fell to his knees and rolled into a ball.

"I am a ho!" He sobbed.

Palutena felt terrible, she swore she didn't ship her angels. She didn't! However others did, and she had to get over that. Pit would too. But at this very moment...he seemed to be in shock. There was only one thing to do.

"Blapi! Fight with me!"

Black Pit ripped his eyes away from Pit and glowered at Palutena. "My answer hasn't changed. There is no way, anyway, I am fighting with you at the moment. Nope, don't feel like it, not my job."

Then Vio said something.

"How's it like, being on the receiving end of your brother's affections, Blapi?"

A sound resembling a whip cracking through the air. Black Pit's head had turned towards Vio.

Vio swallowed hard. Black Pit's eyes had transformed into dark holes of hell. Maybe he had made a mistake...

"Erm..." Vio began backing away as Black Pit started to advance.

"Wait, Blapi, don't do anything hasty!" Palutena cried.

She was too late.

Palutena didn't know how Black Pit had latched onto Vio's shoulders so quickly. She didn't see if Vio tried to block the first of Black Pit's furious punches. She wasn't even sure if she could stop him from bludgeoning Vio to death in time.

Palutena detached her gaze for a moment to stare at the rest of Vio's units. All were frozen in shock. Well, except for one yellow ChuChu sauntering over towards them.

"Hey Cap'n! I did that thing you asked of-_Da hell is goin' on_?!" The ChuChu's eyes bulged at the sight of his captain being pummeled.

Vio let out a hacking cough. "You're done? Good! We're outta this hell hole!" He grabbed Black Pit's fist and with his other hand reached inside his tunic.

Palutena's eyes widened. "Black Pit! Remove yourself from him, now!"

"Huh?" Black Pit looked over at Palutena. He didn't know why she looked so freaked...

Vio removed a small blue orb. Wait, that looked like...

"It's a warp space! Blapi! Move!" Palutena dashed forward, her hand outreached. All he had to do was grab it...

Black Pit never even got a chance to move a finger.

A shock of silver lightning flashed around the hall, picking up the invading army with small burst. The last to be hit with the lightning was Vio with Black Pit hitching a ride.

Palutena was blinded for a moment. Her angel was there, he was there, he was gone...

Palutena felt her stomach cramp.

"Lady Palutena, Blapi, Blapi's gone..." Pit's normally clear blue eyes were the misty color of a stormy beach morning.

"Yes, yes he is Pit." Palutena said emotionless.

"The enemy has him."

"Yes, they do."

The first tear hit the floor.

"I failed! I failed him! I failed you! I-I-wahhh!" Pit put his head in his hands, crying.

And Palutena let him for a while. She watched, face expressionless as he let out his frustrations.

"Lady Palutena! Sir Pit! We need you two urgently!" An angel messenger ran towards them in the ruined hall.

Palutena raised a hand that both silenced him and stopped his movements.

"We'll be there in a moment." She walked over to Pit and placed a hand gently on his shoulder.

"Pit."

He looked up at her.

"Do you think we've lost?"

He sniffed. "No."

"Do you think we won't get Blapi back?"

"No."

Palutena cracked a small smile. "Then rise. We can't stay here and mope. Our people are waiting for us."

"But," Pit started.

"But nothing. This land needs us first. Blapi wouldn't want you to worry to the point of not completing your duties. He'd say you were a punk."

It was Pit's turn to smile. "You mean, he'd say I was punk-ass, Lady Palutena."

"Yes, that too. Let's go. Palutena held out her hand.

Pit took it.

* * *

A special thanks to MrMalicar on Youtube for the English translation of Pit's "In the name of the Moon" speech. Pit's really cute during that scene, no?


	12. Quite the Lady

**Chapter 12: Quite the Lady**

* * *

Enjoy, and please review!

ლ(●ↀωↀ●)ლ

* * *

Chapter 11: Quite the Lady.

**A note about Gekkouga: Gekkouga, a young Pokemon who enjoys ninjutsu, was often in the shadows. This was how he liked it. But even with this trait he still had accumulated many friends. Each friend knew of his fondness for quiet and almost never interrupted his meditation or practice. Most of his friends weren't aware of his violent tendencies upon reaching his breaking point. Good thing this didn't happen often! No siree! Because he always had his quiet, always had his sleep, amongst his friends, that is...**

* * *

12:29 am. _A group of humans and Pokemon can be seen arguing near the Ilex Forest._

"Kouga! Gekk! Kouga!" Gekkouga spat towards the youth four feet in front of him.

"Slow down, Gekkouga! I can't translate if you speak that fast!" Pikachu said.

Gekkouga shook his head and with further venom said, "Kouga! Kou! Ga! Gekkou!"

"I do not think I am allowed to say those words out loud..." said Pikachu.

The youngster smirked, feet wide apart.

"Gekk! Gekk! Kouga!" Gekkouga flung his tongue from side to side. His anger was clear.

"He says 'Stop being such a pompous brat and let us through before he tears you a new one'," Pikachu translated.

The small boy's face transformed into a comedic over-the-top horror expression. "I'm sooooo scared! Oh, what ever shall I do~ This no name Pokemon without a trainer has _threatened _me! I am sooooo frightened!"

Gekkouga was practically foaming at the mouth now. "KOUGA! GEKK!"

"He says 'I'm going to rip your freaking arm off, and make you eat it'."

The lad chuckled. "Look no matter what you say, I'm not letting you through this forest. Unless you pay, that is~"

Gekkouga started up again and Pikachu hurriedly tried to translate.

Marth sighed. How long had he watched them argue. One hour, two? He turned to Lucina.

"Perhaps we should jump into this conversation?"

He was met with a steely glare. "Don't speak to me," Lucina said curtly.

Marth let out another hefty sigh. Dealing with kids was tough.

"Are you going to stay mad at me forever?" Marth asked her.

Her eyes answered before her lips did. "Yes. You left Reflet."

* * *

12:32 am. _A hiker walks into a shady bar._

This hiker's name was Jeff. He was a husky mama's boy who wanted a taste of the bar's famous honey beer. Sitting down at his usual spot, he glanced at a newcomer.

The bartender served him a drink as he studied the fresh face.

She was slender. The light reflecting off her hair made it hard for him to tell if it was platinum blond or light gray. She wasn't from around here, he knew that much. Her face didn't hold the characteristic's of a Johtoer. No, her face had a strange elegance about it...

Oh, and she could chug. She really could. Jeff figured she had to have been on her third beer by now.

Maybe he could get her number...

Gathering courage he made his way towards an empty seat near the mysterious woman. She looked at him before he could get a word out.

"Erm, this seat taken?" He squeaked.

The woman's brown eyes softened. "No, no it isn't."

Mentally giving himself a fist-bump, he sat his large derriere in the seat.

He then asked one of the most original questions known to man. "So, uhm...Come here often?"

She polished off her third beer before saying loudly: "Nope! First time I've been! Shit-dammit! This is good beer!"

The hiker was taken aback, he hadn't expected her to start swearing. Looking more closely the woman's sitting position was on the masculine side, legs apart and shoulders hunched. The hiker found it strangely alluring.

The woman smiled sweetly at him. Her cheeks slightly flushed from the alcohol. She leaned her shoulder against his. "Hey, why don't you buy me another drink?" She asked quietly.

The hiker gave a nervous smile. He wished he felt more powerful in this situation. "What's in it for me?" He said with as much brashness as he could muster.

Her smile widened. "My company. That's what."

In his gut, the hiker felt like he should run. But like a dummy, he didn't.

"Okay, sure then. One last thing, what's your name?"

"Reflet," she answered.

* * *

12:45 am _Things become more heated._

"You're a dumb Pokemon who wishes he had a trainer because nobody in your life loves you! I bet your mom threw up the moment she saw your face!"

"Kouga! Kouga! Gekk!"

"Pichu pichu!"

"'Your mama should know!' Is what they said." Pikachu translated.

"Your mama should know that you is _ugly_!" The lad laughed.

"Kouga! Gekk!"

"Pichu! Pich!"

"'No! Your mama should know!' is what they said."

Marth's interest was dwindling by the second. Watching the usually quiet Gekkouga argue with some ten-year-old boy was fun at first. Now it was just annoying.

What was this boy's name again anyway? Marth tried to think.

_James? John? _Marth couldn't believe he forgot so easily. Perhaps it was the stress of jumping in the wrong portal and landing somewhere in the Pokeverse.

_That lucky dog Ike probably got home safely..._ Marth thought.

"Pichu! Pich!" Pichu screamed, breaking Marth's train of thought.

Both he and Lucina looked at the situation now.

The trainer had somehow gotten the little mouse in a headlock.

"Everybody freeze! Put your hands up!" he shouted.

Pikachu naturally did it, Gekkouga did not. Neither did the two royals.

"Why would we put our hands up? You don't even have a gun," Marth said.

Like magic the lad pulled a gun from his shorts. 9 mm caliber bitches.

He cocked it and placed it on the soft down of Pichu's forehead.

"Everybody just calm down and do as I say! I don't wanna see no swords swinging! And I don't wanna see no Hydro Pumps or Thundershocks. Capiche?"

Our heroes nodded and placed their hands above their heads.

"Pichu...Pichu pichu!" Pichu whined.

"He says, 'Please save me you guys!'" Pikachu translated.

"Did that rodent just tell us to save _him_? His whining-ass is the reason we're in this mess! He better shut up," Marth said forgetting his royal manners for a moment.

The lad smiled. He was in control.

* * *

12: 40 am. _The conversation takes a turn._

Reflet glugged down her fourth beer and slammed the glass on the table. "Gahh! That's delicious!"

Jeff smiled at Reflet. He had been in the middle of a childhood story at the moment of her outburst.

"You really can put it down, huh?"

Reflet wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "Yep! Get me another!" She shoved the glass towards him.

Hoo...Jeff hoped he was getting something good after all this.

Reflet smiled at him. Inside, she was a mess.

_Okay, can we stop calling me "She"! I am Reflet! Male Reflet!_

Yes, you are male Reflet, trapped in a woman's body.

_You think this is funny, huh?_

Quite.

What was Reflet to do? (S)he had come to this bar with the intention of getting rip-roaring drunk. The drunker (s)he got, the more likely her(his) transformation back into a man would quickly happen.

Reflet remembered falling into that blue space, alone. S(he) must have been one of the last members sucked in. That black hole scared him more than anything. So without paying attention, (s)he walked into the nearest portal.

The strange portal led Reflet to a seedy area of the Johto region. Usually Reflet would have worried about her(his) safety. But that was the least of her(his) problems. The main problem was that Reflet no longer carried around a Y chromosome.

Curse her(his) strange condition! It was the only reason he hadn't yet made a move on Lucina! Honest! It wasn't because s(he) was some chicken with low-self esteem and a towering fear of rejection, no!

The first thing Reflet knew (s)he had to do was turn back into a male. (S)he would need chocolate, beer, and a good ole fashion spike of testosterone.

So Reflet had gotten her(his) chocolate and scarfed it down in a back alley. After which s(he) decided that drinking her(him)self into a drunken stupor would further aid in the transformation. Plus (s)he could forget about Lucina.

So, here (s)he was trying to let go of the last bit of his(her) sobriety. Thanks to the late-night outings with the fellas, Reflet's alcohol tolerance was quite high. Luckily there was some lonely hiker willing to pay for the beers (s)h) had to consume.

"So what led you to this bar?" Jeff asked.

"I wanted to get plastered."

Jeff raised an eyebrow. "Plastered? You trying to forget somebody special?" He joked.

To Jeff's horror, Reflet's eyes became dewy.

"Yeah, kinda..."(S)he squeaked.

Jeff threw an arm around Reflet. "What happened?"

Reflet took another sip of honey beer. "Yes, what _did_ happen? I mean, I knew that it wasn't likely we would get together. Yet I still held a small candle of hope. But now? Well, well look at me!" Reflet motioned towards her(his) body.

"I think you're very pretty."

Reflet visibly flinched. "Exactly, I am pretty. Feminine you might even say. Yes, as long as I carry this form, she will never date me. My Venus, my love..."

_She? SHE?!_ Jeff wondered if he had been buying drinks for a lesbian. If so, he would never be getting that number.

_Maybe she's into both sexes! Maybe I can still get that number! _Jeff thought.

He would have to approach this with the utmost sensitivity and tact.

"So you're like a lesbian, right?"

Yep, tactful.

"...I like girls."

"Oh..."

Reflet then mumbled. "However sometimes in this form I find myself staring way too long at males..."

"What was that?" Jeff asked.

"Nothing."

"I know you're probably hung up on this girl, but hey, maybe she isn't the right one for you. You may not be her type of girl."

"Lucina doesn't like girls."

Jeff coughed. "Then maybe you should actually go after somebody who does?"

Reflet downed the rest of his(her) beer and shook his(her) head fervently. "No! There is no one but Lucina!" (S)he slurred.

Jeff really wished he would have walked away when he had the chance.

"Look, buddy, you can't make her like what she doesn't like," Jeff was about to deliver a life lesson when Reflet cut him off.

"O, Lucina, the ocean resides in your voice. Your movements inflict jealousy upon the swans..."

Jeff should have gotten up, Jeff should have left. But Jeff stayed.

"In battle how you effortlessly slayed our enemies. Their blood did not tarnish your beauty, it only magnified your grace. O, Lucina! How we fought in those battles! How I sliced down enemies with you by my side!"

Jeff, run. I'm telling you.

"B-b-but!" Jeff stuttered.

"O, Lucina, how they all fell on my sword. But you will never fall on mine."

"Wait, what?"

"I WILL NEVER GET LAID IN THIS FUCKING BODY!" Reflet suddenly screamed picking up her(his) beer mug and smashing it against Jeff's head.

Like a sack of lead, Jeff went down. More than half the patrons looked Reflet's way.

The bartender scurried over to our mage and hissed, "What ever are you doing, ma'am?!"

"Ma'am?!" Reflet answered by taking his tome, and smacking it across the bartender's face. The result lead the bartender to dreamland, and a broken nose. Now the whole bar was quiet, tense. Ready to snap.

Reflet hopped onto the table and yelled at the top of her(his) lungs: "BAR FIGHT!"

The silence broke, violence erupted.

* * *

12:50: _My Mama taught me better._

_Jeff? Jackson? _Marth chewed at his lower lip. What was that boy called again? This boy who held the fate of his friend (Alright, acquaintance) in his hands.

"Alright then," the lad breathed, "I wanna see something good. Something interesting. I'm bored."

"All senselessly violent people are," Marth quipped.

The lad shoved his gun harder into Pichu's skull. "SHUT UP OR HIS BRAINS GO EVERYWHERE!"

Marth clamped his mouth shut.

The Lad smirked, his baseball cap covering half of his view. But that didn't matter. He already saw everything he needed to see. Two foreigners and trainer-less Pokemon hanging on the streets of Johto at night? They must have been some kind of foolish.

"Now, I have two ideas in mind. You guys can choose which one you want to do though, cause I'm nice like that," the lad said.

"Kouga..." Gekkouga muttered. Pikachu didn't translate it. For he had called the boy a magic six letter word that began with "F" and ended with "R"

"Okay, okay," The youth was slightly nervous, he was about to give into his dark thoughts! Of course he'd be nervous! He couldn't tell his friends about this, or his too busy parents. He was left alone with all these fantasies! But now they would finally come true. With them out of the way he could finally focus on his test this week!

"Alright, this is what I want to see: "You guys can either do some speed in front of me-"

"Speed?! Speed! I love speed!" Pikachu exclaimed, his eyes "spark"ling.

The lad's eyes widened, so did Pikachu's teammates.

"Kouga! Gekk! Gekk!" Gekkouga shouted at him.

"Yeah! I love it! Y'know, helps in battles! Carbos and all that good stuff."

"Pikachu, he does not mean that type of speed," Lucina stated.

"Of course he does!"

"He mean's meth." Marth finally said.

It was Pikachu's turn to look shocked.

"No way! That's bad!" Pikachu looked right into the camera. "Drugs are bad, don't do drugs kids."

"None of us are doing that. Please give us the second option," Marth said.

"Okay, I want a show. Strip for me!" The lad's face brightened. Wait until he told the guys...

"We don't have clothes, but I guess me and Gekkouga can dance. If you want that..." Pikachu stated.

The boy shook his head, disgusted. "Do I look like the creep who wants to see that? No! I'm talking to those two!" He motion towards Marth and Lucina.

"I'm a man. Do you really want to watch me strip?" Marth asked.

"Ach! You're a boy?!" The youth stepped back.

"You know, that joke is really played out!"

Yeah, I know. But I had to put it in somewhere. I won't let it happen again.

"Fine! I don't wanna watch you strip then! She can do it!" He motioned with his gun towards Lucina.

"I refuse." She deadpanned.

"My friend is a guy too," Marth suddenly said.

"Liar. That has to be a woman! She's got long hair! And lipstick!"

"He cross-dresses for the heck of it because he's cute. It's all male underneath the clothes."

Marth barely caught Lucina's dissatisfied stare.

The lad gripped Pichu more tightly. This wasn't going as planned...

"You know what! I don't give a crap! We'll see if you're girls are not! Strip!" He bumped the gun against Pichu's shoulder for emphasis.

"Now, Jimmy," Marth began.

"MY NAME'S NOT JIMMY!" He screeched.

* * *

1:15 am: _The racket calmed down._

Neighbors of the bar heard the intense ruckus coming from the building. A middle-age housewife worried about her husband's safety called the police. They arrived within minutes to a giant donnybrook in progress.

Most of the bar was involved, except the customers who were laid flat on the ground from concussions and pain. It took the police ten minutes to clean the place out. Tasers made even the most pugnacious fighters fall down writhing.

After hauling fighters away and numerous interrogations, the police got down to the source of the fracas. A drunk female mage with pigtails insistent on fighting. She had even knocked out the poor owner.

While the questioning was happening, nobody noticed the slim white-haired man limping away from the scene.

Reflet coughed, then dry-heaved. Urg, he had to keep it down. He had to. Stumbling away on the dark road he reflected on what he had done. Yes, he felt guilty. But that terrible fight had made an urgent wish come true. So in the end, he felt it was worth it.

"Ouch!" He flinched stubbing his toe on something hard.

Looking down, the moonlight glanced upon an item. A stone the color of the clearest blue water shone. Reflet picked it up.

"What in the name is this?" He pondered, turning it over in his hands. Such a pretty stone it was. The waves of the ocean danced in it...

OH MY GOSH! It's a water stone!

"A what?" Reflet asked.

Dude, have you never played Pokemon?! That is such a rare find! Oh my gosh, let me tell you what you need to do! Get your ass on route 34, enter Goldenrod City, find a guy named Bill, and ask him for an Eevee! Then deposit your Pokemon, move them into a different box, while it is savi-

"I don't care about any of that! It's a waste of time," Reflet cried.

Fine, you'll never be a Pokemon master.

He stared more closely at the gem. Blue was his favourite color. It was the color of Lucina's eyes...His heart ached. He'd probably never see her again.

_O, Lucina! My faerie! My dawn! The very air that I breathe! Why did we have to part?! Why is life so cruel? Will I never hear that beautiful voice of yours? Will I never see your smile that radiates like the very sun?! My diamond! I wish to see you! I wish I hadn't been so foolish! I wish I would have told you how I felt! Why did I hesitate? O Luci-_

"I will not bow to the whims of a strange child! I have lived through too much to let somebody decide my fate-Ahhh!"

That voice...

"Lucina!" Reflet exclaimed. He ran in the direction of her voice.

* * *

1:18 am: _The night ends._

"I'm not arguing with you people any longer! Do as I say, or the mouse gets it!"

"Pichu..." Pichu whined.

The group had been arguing for over ten minutes. Trying to stall, trying make the boy change his mind. Nonetheless Lucina had finally broken. Marth was proud that he had raised a child, who had raised a child, who had "Insert many more generations here" who had raised Lucina to be a headstrong person. Too bad it wasn't the time for her destiny talk.

"Gekk! Gekk! Kou!" Gekkouga said, eyes sharp.

"'Are you even willing to shoot him?' is what he said. And I gotta agree. My arms are getting tired. I bet you only had one bullet in there..."

The lad shot into the air. "You musta thought I was playing when I shot at the broad. I got a full magazine in this. So, last chance. Give me a show! Or watch his head blow off."

Pichu sniffled and looked down. Why couldn't his teammates forget pride and just do as the trainer asked?

In the corner of Gekkouga's eye, he watched both royals facial expressions change. Marth's eyes had a faraway look in them, and Lucina was chewing her lip. He wondered if they would comply.

Marth sighed. "Fine, to save my friends, I will remove my clothing."

"Grandfather! Do not shame yourself! You're a hero!"

Marth raised a hand. "I'm a friend first."

Lucina looked down.

Letting out a gentle sigh, Marth began working on his belt, there was no getting out of this...

"LUCINA!" A shout from the shadowy path screamed.

Everybody turned their head in the direction of the sound.

"That voice...It can't be..." Lucina clenched her fingers.

"Reflet! Is that you?!" Lucina shouted.

"It is I!" Screamed Reflet running into their field of vision. He almost ran fully towards them, happiness inflating his heart at the sight of his teammates. But then he saw the boy. And Pichu's predicament...

"What in the world...?" Reflet then heard the sound of a gun cocking.

"Haha! Y-y-you brought me another girl! How nice!" The lad smiled, Gekkouga noticed the effort it took to get it up to his cheeks.

Reflet cracked one of his knuckles. What had he just said?

"Now, don't try lying and telling me this one isn't a girl! Come on, lady, get with the program! You see what your friends are doing. Strip."

Reflet began to quake.

"Now, Johnny, I think we can work this out..." Marth tried again.

The boy's nostrils flared. "MY NAME'S NOT JOHNNY! IT'S JOEY!" he shouted, knocking the gun into Pichu's head.

"Pichu!" Pichu uttered tearfully.

"Thoron!" A shot of hot-white lightning shot out. Right at Joey.

Now, Joey could move pretty fast. But come on, lightning's pretty fast...And unavoidable.

"Gahhhh!" Joey screamed as the lightning hit him. Or well, his arms. Flailing uncontrollably he dropped both the gun and Pichu. Pichu made a dash towards Pikachu joyfully. And moving swiftly Gekkouga scooped up the gun and pointed at the trainer.

"Haaah, haaah, wahh..." Joey sniffled. He looked down at his arms. He expected to see burnt little sticks. Instead he came to the realization that the lightning had barely even hit the edge of his arms.

Dammit.

"Whoa!" Joey exclaimed being picked up by an angry Reflet.

Reflet leaned into him, their noses almost touching.

"Listen here, you little pustule, I've gone through too much crap at the moment to be taking _yours_. So why don't you take your little pissy-ass home, and go ask your mama for milk and cookies, kid."

Joey's eyes watered and his lip trembled.

"You'll, you'll pay for this! You stupid cross-dresser! You'll pay for this!"

At the word "Cross-dresser" Reflet lost the last of his sense.

"You freaking brat! These clothes are unisex! Elthunder!" He shouted throwing the child up into the air and striking him.

"You really will pay! M_y Rattata is in the top percentage of Rattatas!"_ he yelled before becoming a star in the sky.

Reflet let out a breath, then dry-heaved again. Well, at least that was over with...

"Uff!" He grunted as Lucina suddenly hugged him.

"Thank goodness, thank goodness. You're safe." She muttered into his shoulder.

It took Reflet's brain a moment to compute. Lucina. Was. Hugging. Him. His breath hitched.

"I thought I'd never see you again. I feel truly blessed at the moment." She continued.

"Er..." Reflet made a noise.

"Oh, am I hugging you too tightly?" Lucina loosened her grip and looked up at him.

"Um, erm, no! No you weren't! Um...This is for you." Reflet pulled out the (precious) water stone, and handed it to the princess.

"Oh, Reflet! It's beautiful! It's like the very stone is moving itself!" She held it up the moonlight, admiring it's glow.

Reflet looked down, it was hard to tell if he was blushing or if his cheeks were just flushed from the booze. "It, it reminded me of your eyes, so I thought you might like it..."

Lucina smiled up at him, "I will treasure it. Thank you."

Reflet smiled like a dope.

"Gekk! Kouga, gekk, kou." Gekkouga muttered to Pikachu.

"I'm sure they'll remember we exist in a minute. Until then, you keeping that gun?"

"Gekk!" Gekkouga nodded happily.

"Use it well, and don't let Pichu get a hold on it." Pikachu said.

"Pichu!" Pichu exclaimed.

"Shh, Pichu. The grown-ups are talking."

Marth clapped. And walked towards Reflet and Lucina. "Whoa, glad that is over. How's about we get out of here?"

"That would be the most desirable course, grandfather. Right, Reflet?"

Reflet didn't answer. He was still on cloud-nine and swaying ever so gently.

"Reflet?" Lucina looked at him curiously. She then sniffed and leaned towards him.

"Reflet, you smell like a brewery. Are you drunk?" Lucina stared at him pointedly.

As an answer, Reflet heaved and doubled over.

Lucina being the slimmer of the royals moved just in time to avoid the waterfall of regurgitated chocolate and beer.

Marth did not.

"My boots!" He cried. Oh yes, his expensive boots.

"Sorry..." Reflet moaned wiping his mouth.

Marth glared at him. Something in that glare made Reflet almost lose control of his bladder.

"Ahem, guys? We have to get going. We probably want to get to the Pokemon Center before dawn." Pikachu said.

"Of course!" Lucina nodded.

"Yes...Of course." Marth mumbled.

"Well, I'm your only guide, so follow me closely. And whatever you do, don't hit the trees too hard. I don't need another Pineco fiasco on my hands." Pikachu started towards the forest.

Dragging the dazed Reflet along, the group continued.


	13. The Wheels on the Bus go 'round

Sorry for the lack of updates. Life happens! :p Anyway thanks for sticking around with me! Enjoy~! _へ_(‾◡◝ )

* * *

Chapter 12: The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round.

**A note about DK: Donkey Kong, or DK as he is known by friends, is a jolly ape who enjoys bananas and helping others. When he isn't making charity event appearances, he's hanging with Diddy. And when he isn't hanging with Diddy, he's fighting the Koopa King (or dealing with his needy family, but he really doesn't like talking about them...) To outsiders it may seem that he truly hates the giant turtle, but the Koopa King is actually an old friend and would save him in a pinch if needed. Of course he would never say that though! It is an unspoken rule among men. Just like what happened between him and Pauline. That was, also unspoken about...Among men.**

* * *

"Fuck me..." Bowser mumbled under his breath.

"You can say that again..." DK agreed before being shaken in his seat.

"Sorry! Speed bump!" Dedede exclaimed turning onto the next street.

Since we already get the gist of what has happened in the world, I'll give you an abridged version of why Bowser and DK were stuck together in a sweaty car with Dedede and the rest of the Kirby bunch.

"Hey! I can't tell it in my own words?" Bowser said grumpily.

Sure, man. Go ahead.

"Alright, thanks to this stupid penguin," Bowser pointed towards his driver, Dedede. "Decided that we should all follow him. By 'Us" I mean me, Jr., DK and Diddy. You follow?"

Yeah, I think the audience is following.

"Good. Well of course we followed him. He saved us once before, so we thought he could do it again. WE WERE WRONG!" Bowser suddenly growled, fire springing from his mouth.

"Poyo!" Kirby cried frightened.

"Hey, man! Be calm!" Dedede said halting at a stop sign.

Bowser took a deep breath. He was calm. Calm enough.

"YOU'RE THE REASON WE'RE STUCK ON POPSTAR! YOU FREAKING MORON PENGUIN!" Bowser shouted.

The car suddenly swerved causing everyone to bump into each other.

"Remember who's driving, Koopa," Dedede said quietly.

Bowser grumbled.

"Don't worry, Dad! We'll be out of this place in no time. So calm down!" Koopa Jr. said patting his dad on the back.

"Listen to your son, Bowser." DK said.

"Shut up, DK." Bowser answered.

The car suddenly swerved again. "Sorry, sorry, almost hit a squirrel." Dedede said turning on the radio.

A children's song filled the air and swished around in the heads of the passengers.

"The wheels on the bus go round and round! Round and round! Round and round! The wheels on the bus go round and round! All through the town!" Diddy started singing along to the radio.

Jamming with him, Kirby and Koopa Jr. started singing too.

"The people on the bus go up and down! Up and down!  
up and down! The people on the bus go up and down,  
all through the town!" The trio (Well duo, Kirby poyo-d) sang.

"Dedede, you possess no other songs? Perhaps classical ballads?" Meta Knight asked. A throbbing pain had started in the back of Meta Knight's head and was slowly moving to the front. Unlike Bowser, Donkey Kong and Dedede, Meta Knight was sitting in the back with the kids and Diddy.

"Nope. I only have folk yodel and kids' songs. I don't think anybody wants to hear any yodeling at the moment, am I right?"

Meta Knight nodded and rubbed his temples.

"Well, at least my son is entertained," Bowser said.

"Yeah, Diddy too." DK nodded.

"The babies on the bus go waa, waa, waa! Waa, waa, waa! Waa, waa, waa.  
The babies on the bus go waa, waa, wAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

"What the fu-Ugh!" Bowser smashed into DK as the car began tumbling down a steep hill.

"AHHH! AHHH!" Diddy screeched.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Dedede screamed flipping through the air, hands above his head.

Rolling, rolling, tumbling. The gang ricocheted in the car's interior and into one another. Pieces of foliage and branches invited themselves through the window and the car smashed against the ground.

"Somebody has to take the wheel!" Meta Knight cried.

"What good would that do?!" Bowser shouted.

"I have no idea!" Meta Knight answered.

"Jesus! Take the wheel!" Dedede exclaimed.

"Dad! Dad! I'm scared!" Koopa Jr. sobbed out.

"POYOOO!"

The car stopped with a heavy thud, smashing into a tree. The crunchy sound of glass shattering rang in the passenger's ears.

They waited a moment.

"Is everyone of sound health?" Meta Knight whispered.

Now of course everyone was of sound health. This wasn't some hurt/comfort fic. Even so, Bowser said not a word. He was pissed, extremely pissed. He was a big guy, he wouldn't be hurt that easily. But who cared about that? Dedede had lost control of his car. He could have gotten them killed. He could have gotten his son killed!

His son...

"Jr.! You alright?!" Bowser barked.

Koopa Jr. who had retreated into his shell popped his head out.

"I'm legit fine, Dad!" He exclaimed.

"I'm not..." Diddy mumbled. "I have emotional distress."

"Do you know what that even means, Diddy?" DK said, raising an eyebrow.

"It means I can get money by crying."

"That's right." DK nodded.

The group crawled out of the car.

Dedede's beautiful car. His car painted violet with gold streaks. His car decorated with little Waddle Dees and stars, was ruined. Smashed against the tree with broken windows, it looked so sad.

"My car!" Dedede wailed falling to his knees.

"Your car was tacky." Bowser said.

"Don't talk about Delilah that way!"

"You named your car?!" Koopa Jr. giggled out.

"Son, real men name their cars. Don't laugh at him." Bowser said, arms folded.

Koopa Jr. looked down sullen. "Sorry, Dad."

"We need to start walking. We are not that far from the kingdom," Meta Knight observed.

Kirby nodded. "Poyo!"

Diddy took a banana out of somewhere and peeled it. "If you guys know the way, I'm ready!" Diddy brought the banana closer to his mouth when he felt something grab onto his leg.

"Poyoooooo!" Kirby looked up at him and pointed to his banana.

"You can't have my banana!"

"Poyo!" Kirby increased his leaning power by 30% and started reaching for Diddy's banana.

"Hey! Quit it!"

Kirby's eyes teared up. "Poyo!"

"He says he's hungry. Just give him the banana." Meta Knight said.

Diddy shook his head. "No way! My banana! Uh-ah!" Diddy sassily added, head shaking.

"You can make as many bananas as you please. Just hand him one!" Meta Knight glared.

"'Make as many as I please'? See, that's a common misconception. I gotta stock up on these things. Once I'm out, I'm out. Then I gotta wait to get some more. So no. Not giving my banana to him, ach!"

Diddy was swallowed whole by Kirby. A minute later he reappeared. Hand emptied of banana.

Sporting a red hat, Kirby chewed happily on his new banana.

Meta Knight face-palmed. "I told you to give him the banana..."

"That little..." Diddy grumbled.

Kirby looked up at him, a grin adorning his face.

"Well, we better get to walkin'. My kingdom isn't far from here," Dedede said.

"How far is far?" Koopa Jr. asked.

Dedede rubbed his chin. "A mile or two."

Koopa Jr. hopped in his Clown kart and popped a wheelie. "Okay then, I'm ready!"

"How come he gets to ride around?! I want to ride around in something! I don't wanna walk!"

"Diddy, you have a jet pack." Meta Knight said curtly.

"Oh yeah. I forgot about those."

Under his breath Meta Knight uttered, "You forget everything useful, Diddy."

* * *

The smell of grass and wildflowers swam in the air as the group walked up the hill. Over this hill was Dedede's kingdom. A kingdom he was very proud of.

Humming to himself, he imagined being greeted by his loyal subjects. The Waddle Dee chefs had to have started dinner. Dedede could already taste the dishes they could be making. Roasted carrots, baked fish, rosemary lamb on a bed of mashed parsnips. Dedede licked his full lips and rubbed his belly. Oh, how he would stuff his face.

"Dad, Dedede's licking his lips like a creep."

"That's not nice to say son."

"But he looks like some type of pedo."

"Poyo!"

"Shut up, Kirby! You don't even know what a pedo is!"

"Poyo..."

"It is not the name of a bear!"

"Could you two children be silent! We are about to set foot in Dedede's kingdom, yet you two speak as if he is not here! Do you have nothing to say, Dedede?" Meta Knight said looking swiftly at him.

Dedede was still hanging in lala land though, trying not to drool and rubbing his belly up and down.

"See Kirby, he's touching himself, like a perv."

Dedede broke out of his daydream and turned towards them. "Just a little longer guys! Haa...I can smell the lamb~" Dedede clapped his hands and did a little jig.

Bowser pushed him aside and stomped past him.

"Hey! What's your problem, you mad bro?" Dedede was offended.

"You're too slow. We'll never get to your kingdom if you lead."

The king of the Koopas walked to the top of the hill and looked down. The bright houses of Dedede's kingdom and the fragrant grass greeted his eyes.

Or, it was supposed to.

"Holy shit..." Koopa's eyes bucked.

"What?! What?!" Dedede cried frantically.

"Dedede, you gotta see this." Koopa answered, face ashen.

Dedede was pudgy but could run fast when he wanted to. He kicked his fat ass into gear and trotted to the top of the hill. The sight below, caused his mouth to drop.

"My kingdom...MY KINGDOM!" Dedede dropped to his knees and buried his hands in his face.

"Wow, look at that!" Koopa Jr. squealed. The other five had made it up there and were just as gobsmacked as the two kings.

"It's burnt...All of it..." Donkey surveyed the black and brown land below. Houses were nothing but piles of ashes. The trees resembled twisted black creatures. Dedede's perfect castle was nothing but a skeleton. It's former beauty, destroyed like Delilah.

"Poyo! Poyooo!" Kirby screamed.

"Holy mother of Pocahontas!" Dedede shrieked.

Meta Knight shut his eyes and shook his head.

"Why?! Why?!" Dedede choked out shaking his head. Big floppy tears fell on the ground.

"This is pretty intense. A whole kingdom?" DK rubbed his chin.

"And the castle is still smok-"

"WHY?! WHY ME?!" Dedede cut off Bowser slamming his fist on the ground. Koopa looked at him, eyebrow raised.

"As I was saying, the castle is still-"

"Please! Please! Why am I being punished this way!" Dedede wailed out, rolling on the ground.

Dedede was an overly dramatic guy.

"Good Lord, Dedede! Be a grown man and pull yourself together!" Meta Knight hissed.

"I'm not a grown man, I'm a grown penguin. A PENGUIN THAT HAS LOST HIS WHOLE COURT!" Dedede began rolling again, his cries growing louder.

He's being a bitch Meta Knight. Bitch slap him, slap him like a bitch.

"I am not going to bitch slap anybody." Meta Knight said primly.

Oh come on man, you're no fun.

"**WHY ME?!" **Dedede howled, slamming his head on the ground.

Koopa's eyebrow twitched. He could taste spice in the back of his throat.

_Don't lose your temper, don't lose your temper. _Bowser thought.

"_**I AM SOOOOOO UNLUCKY!" **_

Donkey Kong watched Koopa's jaw go to work.

_Don't lose your temper, don't lose your temper..._

"_**DEAR LORD! WH-**_"

Koopa unleashed a wave of fire that engulfed Dedede. Dedede was stunned. He became paralyzed when Bowser grabbed him by the cuff of his robe and slapped him across the face. Mario Party 1 style.

"Gah!" Dedede shook the slap off his face. "Hey what was that f-"

_**SMACK! **_

The Koopa King got his second lick in.

"I wanna get in on this! Hold him still for me, Dad! Hold him still!"

Koopa Jr. ran up to Dedede and smacked him in the face. Courtesy of his father.

"Hey! Now that's just disrespectful!" Dedede exclaimed.

"Shut up!" Koopa Jr. said, slapping him harder.

"Yeah! Shut up!" Bowser said, slapping him harder.

A tag team of meaty slaps rang out in the air as the father and son team beat the crap out of Dedede.

"Meta Knight! Kirby help!"

"You see there Kirby, the moon will be full tonight," Meta Knight pointed out, ignoring Dedede wholeheartedly.

"Meta Knight, you bastard."

Diddy wasn't that into violence. Preferring comedy instead. So he decided to gaze up at the sky with Kirby and Meta Knight. Donkey Kong on the other hand, wanted in on the torture.

"Hey, hold him still for me, Bowser!" Donkey Kong cracked his knuckles.

Smirking Bowser held Dedede's hands behind his back. "Give it your all, DK."

This would hurt. Captain Falcon's punch didn't have nothing on DK's.

Dedede screeched like a little ogre as Donkey Kong advanced.

"Donkey, Koopa, what in the world are you doing here?"

The group turned their eye sockets towards the new voice.

First, Dedede noticed a Waddle Dee and Waddle Doo surrounding the stranger. A sense of relief welled in his chest. His servants were alright. After this weight had been lifted off his shoulders, he observed the stranger. She was a brunette with long hair halfway down her back. She had dark eyes highlighted by extremely red lips. Dedede wasn't even a woman and he knew that lipstick was da bomb.

His eyes drifted up and down her body taking in the entire outfit. She was wearing what he considered a skimpy dress. A skimpy red dress that reminded him more of lingerie than a decent attire fit for outside eyes.

But hey, maybe he was being a prude.

He glanced at his comrades. Diddy, Kirby, Koopa Jr. and Meta Knight's' faces were all rather neutral. DK and Bowser's faces on the other hand...

What was the expression on King Koopa's face? Happiness? Glee? No, something quieter and haughtier than that. Smug. His face was smug. And his smug expression was trained on DK's horrified face.

"Hi, Pauline." The great ape squeaked.

* * *

"I can't believe I'm even talking to you guys right now," Pauline shook her head in disbelief. Pressing a button she rolled down the backseat's windows. Wind buffered the faces of her passengers.

"Considering all the trouble, I assumed you and Koopa would be in your respective homeworlds."

DK fussed with his seat belt. It felt like it was cutting into his flesh forcing him into his seat. The seat right near his ex-girlfriend. He wished he could cry like Dedede too.

"I would love to be in my homeworld right now, but Dedede needed us. So we followed him to Popstar. Hopefully everything will calm down soon and we can get back to our worlds," DK said.

Pauline nodded a bit in his direction but didn't take her eyes off the road as she asked a question of the large turtle in the backseat.

"What about you, Koopa?"

"What about me?" Koopa said rudely digging in his ear.

Pauline didn't seemed fazed. "I was wondering about your whole take on this. Donkey seems rather relaxed about the situation. You've always been higher-strung."

Bowser's eyebrow twitched. Was this woman insulting him? Whatever, he wouldn't get mad.

"Believe it or not, I'm pretty chill about this whole thing. Planet Popstar has nice scenery. As long as I have Junior with me, I'll be fine for awhile."

Finally Pauline turned to look at Koopa and the rest of the backseat. Bowser noticed the brief wave of jealously that shadowed DK's face.

Pauline's gaze fell on Koopa Jr. who in spite of being a little loud rascal shrank back quietly.

"I remember you saying you had a kid. How old is the little guy?"

Before Bowser opened his mouth, Koopa Jr. piped up, "I'm six!"

Bowser ruffled his hair. "Yeah, he's six. He'll be seven in September."

"Oh, so you're pretty big now."

"Yup!"

"Your father must be so proud."

"Yup!"

Mama is too, huh?"

"..."

Bowser mentally swore. Everybody but Pauline turned to stare at Bowser and his young son. Koopa Jr.'s eyebrows turned up and the edges and his eyes became shiny. Koopa could feel his heartbeat faster.

Pauline took note of the silence and said, "Mom's not in the picture?"

Koopa could have sworn her tone made it obvious she knew that. Maybe he was being paranoid.

"She's not in the picture, Pauline. But I don't like talking about it. Upsets Junior."

Koopa Jr. sniffed. "Am not upset." He mumbled. "I have Mama Peach."

"Poyo!"

"What you say, Kirby?"

"Poyo..."

"Pauline, why are you here again?" DK asked flustered. Koopa smirked. How cute. Watching DK fidget was more enjoyable than hockey fights. Oh, how lucky it was for them to have found Pauline and the Waddles. Although he did find it strange that those Waddles flanked each side of her like she needed utmost protection.

"Well, I heard from a few of my friends that Pop Star is beautiful this time of year and that it hosts many festivals. I haven't had a decent vacation since I opened up the amusement park." Pauline paused for a moment before looking at DK and saying, "Thank you for showing up for that again, DK."

"No problem-o," He muttered.

"Anyway, I thought I would treat myself to a little get-away." Pauline chuckled bitterly. "Too bad my vacation went to complete GARBAGE just a week in! Warp spaces disappearing? Hogwash! Someone is interfering with them! I know it..."

DK leaned away from her. Her usual calm expression had one of disdain and annoyance. She was gripping that steering wheel like it owed her money.

She turned her head swiftly to look at DK. "You wouldn't know anything about the disappearances, would you?"

DK swallowed. Hard. Everybody heard it.

"I have no information regarding it."

"What a professional answer."

"We're all good with professionalism!" Dedede piped up in the back. "Right, Waddle Dee, Waddle Doo?"

The two Waddles didn't give him eye contact and nodded faintly. Dedede wondered if they were carsick.

"Here we are!" Pauline stopped in front of an orange hotel that Dedede immediately recognized with some shock.

"The Shine Bright Hotel?! You have a room, here?! You must be some type of millionaire," he exclaimed.

Pauline let out a low chuckle. "Not a millionaire. Just a girl who enjoys living in style."

Everybody slowly got out of the car and looked at the large hotel. Most could guess the reason it was called "Shine Bright" was due to the fluorescent orange paint drowning the building.

What was meant to be fancy, came off tacky.

"So tacky." Meta Knight murmured to himself.

Walking into the hotel everybody got situated into assigned rooms. DK and Pauline had a small argument about who was to pay, but then Bowser put it all on his tab and everyone finally went to their rooms.

With a hefty breath Bowser sat on his bed.

"Hey, Dad?" Koopa Jr. said quietly sitting near his father.

"What son?"

"Is Pauline my mama?"

If Bowser could have spit-took, he would have.

No! No son, why would you think that?" He spluttered.

"Because she sounded like she knew I didn't have a mama. I thought she might have been hinting."

Curse these children and their ability to pick up on things!

Bowser took a deep breath. "Son, I _promise _you. Pauline is not your mother. I only ever met her as DK's girlfriend. After they broke up, I never even thought about a relationship with her."

Koopa Jr. digested this information. So Pauline wasn't his mama. In a way that was a relief. In another it made him sad. To block this sadness he asked a question that only mildly interested him.

"So, how did Donkey Kong and Pauline break up?"

Bowser gave his son a look. "That's grown folk business, Jr."

"Okay." Koopa Jr. said thinking he'd just ask Diddy later.

"It's about time we get to bed. I'll read you a bedtime story if you hurry up and get in the covers."

With that promise Koopa Jr. hurried off to brush his teeth and tuck himself in. Bowser smiled at his son as he ran off.

* * *

Dedede stared at the mural on the ceiling. He was sad. His car was smashed, his castle was burned and he was beat senseless. What the hell? Did life hate him or something? He sure felt like it did.

He was happy that Meta Knight and Kirby decided to bunk together in a whole other room. It gave him privacy to pout.

"Haa..." He sighed and flipped on his round stomach. It was a lot of stress. He hoped the rest of his team would be okay. He hoped they at least made it to their homeworlds. And hopefully Tabuu hadn't started any more trouble. Maybe this whole thing would blow over...

_**Creak...**_

Dedede's head popped up and turned towards his door. Standing in the door silhouetted by warm light, was Waddle Dee.

"Oh hey, Waddle Dee, no, Waddle Roger. You're Roger, right?"

Waddle Roger nodded.

"Okay. What's up, Roger?

Waddle Roger shrugged and just stood there. Noting that, Dedede motioned for him to come in.

Waddle Roger stepped quietly into the room and closed the door softly. He then just stood there, silently.

"Something the matter?"

"..."

"Waddle Roger?"

The Waddle Dee shook his head from side to side.

"Roger...?"

"Roger doesn't live here anymore."

The Koopa King heard a sound similar to an orange being juiced, but made no attempt to find out what it was.


	14. Gaiden Green: Part 1

So far we have visited our characters multiple times. We have discovered their likes and dislikes, and even engaged with some of their friends. However, these six people hardly make up the whole group known in the gang. In fact, they would be nothing without the others that support them. So without further ado, let us look into some other members' trials...

* * *

Chapter 13: Gaiden Green: Part 1.

**A note about Link: Link, the Hero of Time; the original 12; every gamer girl's first boyfriend, was a courageous Hylian youth. Of course that goes without saying! He wields the Triforce of Courage, does he not? But even without it, he would do what he feels is right. While commonly overlooked, Link was a country boy in and out. Although he often engaged with royalty for his girlfriend's sake he really hates eloquent social meetings and would rather ride his horse and pick wild fruit from trees. (Fruit that wasn't always edible, either) For anyone who ever asked how he got so strong he'd answer the same thing: "Lon Lon Milk. Because Milk does a body good." And it really does. So kids, drink your milk. **

* * *

"Yawwwnnn." Link stretched his back while basking in the island sunlight. The air smelled sweet and the temperature was perfect. If he didn't have anything to do, Link would have napped.

"Your Grandmother's roasted boar was delicious, Toon Link," Link said stealing a glance at the nude boy wading in ocean water.

Toon Link splashed the salty water over his fair head. "She really pulled out the stops for you guys. We almost never have roasted boar! Or Pineapple cake for that matter!"

Oh yes, Link remembered how delicious that had been too.

"How long until Zelda's ready?" Toon Link asked.

Link shrugged. "I'm not a woman, I can't tell you how long it'll take her to get ready. She's probably trying to put on all her petticoats or something..."

"I'm done actually," a quiet voice said from behind.

"Gah!" Link quickly turned around to greet Zelda, who had changed from her usual purple dress to the pink one Link was fond of.

"Hey, Zelda! You ready to go?!" Toon Link exclaimed, hopping out of the water.

"Toon Link! Clothes!" Zelda shrieked throwing his tunic at him.

"Uff!" Toon Link Fell over and wiggled his near toe-less feet in the air.

"Why are you so upset? I'm always naked!" Toon Link pouted.

Always was an understatement.

Link shook his head. "You're the reason Mario issued that, Modesty Rule."

"Do not pretend I was the only guy walking around not dressed well enough!"

It was true that Toon Link was not the only one. When the new rookies had come in they were surprised about how loose certain rules were. In fact some of the younger members practically had heart attacks after finding some of the veterans walking around in half worn-out skivvies or less. Then a few rookies picked up the habit. Which ultimately lead to "That Event" which forced Mario to issue a Modesty rule. The Hylians could easily remember that day.

* * *

_Zelda was curled up on a love seat reading a murder mystery by one of her favourite authors. The sun was creeping up past low clouds in the sky trying to make its presence known. Zelda had been up for a few hours due to a random case of insomnia. Her hair was still wet from an early shower and like her body was wrapped in a fluffy white towel. _

_She heard one of her neighbors open up their door and trudge down the stairs towards the kitchen._

_I wonder who's up this early for something to eat? Zelda thought to herself. That being said she was sure a few people were already in the kitchen eating on whatever was in there. _

"_EEKK!" A shrill scream ripped out into the air. And the sound of glass hitting the floor rung out. Zelda put down her book and stood up. _

"_What's going on...?" _

"_Get away from me! Don't touch me!" Zelda recognized Nana's voice and hurried out of her room to investigate. _

_Holding on to the railing, Zelda flew down the stairs. The towel holding her hair together flew off her head and tendrils of brown got into her eyes. She barely noticed though. _

_Sliding down a hallway Zelda entered the kitchen. She didn't know what she would find. A pervert? Some random homeless guy who had wandered in? A door-to-door salesman that wouldn't take no for an answer?_

_It was none of those things. It was Nana, sitting on her bum, hands outstretched in order to protect herself. Glass littered the floor like diamonds. Standing in the middle was Toon Link. A naked Toon Link. _

_He was holding a bottle of Lon Lon Milk and trying to approach Nana, who was having none of it. _

"_Let me help you!" Toon Link said. _

"_No! Gross! Get away!" Nana shook her head wildly. _

_Zelda couldn't believe it. A bit stunned at the sight, she stared stuck in place until Toon Link noticed her and waved his hand. _

"_Hey, Zelda! Mornin'!" _

"_STOP IT!" Nana bellowed. _

"_Stop what? I'm just waving my hand." _

"_That's not the only thing you're waving!" _

_Zelda sighed. "Toon Link, why aren't you wearing any clothing?" _

"_Because it's early and I never put on clothes this early." _

"_So you come down naked every morning?" Zelda asked. _

"_Pretty much. Not many people are up though..." _

_Zelda was about to chastise the young boy and teach him common decency when a voice grumbled from behind. _

"_What's all this yelling in the morning?" _

_Zelda simultaneously hopped forward and turned around in a awkward motion. Staring back at her was an annoyed Little Mac._

"_Oh! Little Mac! It's just you...Why are you so wet?" Zelda noted his hair wasn't in its usual style, instead it was flat to his head, bangs dripping. He stood with a towel wrapped around his waist. _

"_I could ask you the same," Little Mac motioned towards Zelda. _

_Zelda cleared her throat and stood up straighter. "I just took a shower." _

"_So did I." _

"_Morning' Mac!" Toon Link said._

"_Morning Toon Li- Why are you naked?" _

"_Why does everybody keep askin—Oh my gosh, Nana! Nana's fainted! She's fainted and her nose is gushing blood!" Toon Link cried. _

"_Oh no, Nana!" Zelda rushed to her side and elevated her head. "Toon Link you frightened her too much!" _

"_I didn't mean to!...Zelda, your towel..." Toon Link's usual pale expression deepened into vermilion. _

"_My towel?" Zelda looked down at her body. It should have been wrapped in that awesome fluffy towel. _

_It wasn't. _

"_Ah!" Zelda turned around to see her towel laying lamely on the floor. Little Mac looked like he was choking on a marble. _

_And then Link came down. _

"_Morning everyon-WHOOAAA My Goddesses!" Link screamed out in time with Zelda. _

_Zelda dropped Nana's lifeless body on the floor and covered herself. _

"_**D-Don't Look!**" She cried._

_Attempting to be helpful, Little Mac tried to cover Link's eyes along with his owns. He accidentally punched Link unconscious instead. _

"_Oh, Shit." He said._

"_What is this screaming?!" Samus slid down the stairs in a skimpy matching set of underwear. _

"_Why aren't you wearing clothes?" Little Mac groaned. _

_Samus headlocked him and administered a noogie. _

"_Free country, towel boy. Is that Link on the floor? Wait, Zelda, why aren't you wearing clothes? And Toon Link...?" Samus stopped her grinding fist. _

"_My towel! Samus please give me my towel!" Zelda shrieked. _

_Samus was going to give Zelda her towel, she really was. But she then heard heavy footsteps and fluttering wings right behind her. _

"_Oh my, God!" Pit whispered. _

"_What are you guys doing?!" Rockman asked. _

_Samus and Toon Link waved at the new arrivals. _

"_Hey Pit, Hey Rock! Nice underwear, Rocky," Samus greeted casually. _

_With flailing arms, Rockman attempted and failed to cover himself and his red undies._

"_Nice, nice, your underwear is..." Rockman didn't finish his sentence, he collapsed on the ground in a steaming heap._

"_Ach! Rock's fainted! Hang in there! Rock!" Pit tried the best CPR he knew, shaking the stuffing out of him. _

_Pit's screaming reminded Zelda that she wasn't screaming. Which reminded Toon Link that Zelda was naked so he started flailing around, right as Nana was getting up. _

_And she didn't like the sight. _

_Needless to say, there was more screaming. _

_Palutena hearing her angel's scream floated down just as Samus let a sopping Little Mac go and shoved him to the ground, onto the unconscious Link. This made Palutena squeal loudly in pure joy._

_Zelda finally crawled over to her towel just as half of the household tried to cram their way downstairs to see what the racket was. _

_Their faces were enough to tell Zelda everything she needed to know about how bad this all looked. _

* * *

Zelda shuddered at the memory. After everything had calmed down and several nose bleeds were treated, Mario gathered the team together and issued a "Modesty Rule" or as he had really said it, "Nobody wants to see your naked asses."

Toon Link had taken the rule the hardest.

"I don't wanna think of that time." Link shuddered.

"Then let's not!" Toon Link snapped his tights on and started towards the forest.

Link and Zelda followed after him.

* * *

"So this is the forest that houses the Four Sword, how peaceful." Zelda commented touching the bark of a gnarled tree.

"Trust me, it wasn't always this peaceful, and it won't be in a second."

"Are you sure drawing that blade is the only way, Toon Link?" Link asked.

Toon Link swallowed heavily. "Yeah, after I draw it, we'll board the boat my Grandma made for us."

Link thought about that tight cramped boat. "Why can't we just ask Tetra to sail us?"

Toon Link stopped dead in his tracks. "Are you crazy?! She told me she'd kill me if I drew the Four Sword again! No way am I asking for her help!"

"Why will she kill you?"

"...She doesn't like dealing with me unless I'm me. All me."

"Ah, I see."

Toon Link lead the group deeper into the forest, past large trees and fragrant flowers. The sunlight all but disappeared amongst the foliage. The group came to a clearing: the Four Sword's Sanctuary.

Zelda gently touched Toon Link's shoulder. He was trembling slightly. "This is nothing, Toon Link. You've taken on harsher challenges."

Link stood near him. "Yeah, Toon Link. This is nothing. You have to do this. This is the only way to become _whole_ again."

Toon Link waved them away. "I know! I know!" He left out a hefty sigh and walked towards the sword.

He examined the handle and blade wedged in stone. Besides the Master Sword, this was the easiest one for him to wield. The handle felt smooth and cold in his tiny hands. The blade was sharp and uniquely shaped.

_Here goes nothing,_ he thought, as he grabbed the fated sword by the hilt. Zelda and Link watched with bated breath as he began to pull it out.

Slowly, slowly, using all his strength he pulled. His ears began to ring, his stomach began to burn. A faint tearing sensation went up and down his back.

"This is it!" Toon Link shouted pulling the sword one more time in a flash of light.

Link and Zelda covered their eyes as Toon Link was enveloped in multi-colored light. A strange feeling bubbled in their stomachs as the air shifted and the light lessened.

"Green!" A high-pitched voice squealed out happily.

"Oh bother, Green." Another voice growled.

Link and Zelda looked up at the pedestal, where three figures stood.

"Hey Red, Hey Blue. Long time no see."


	15. Gaiden Blue: Part 1

Chapter 14: Gaiden: Blue: Part 1

**A note about Shulk: Shulk a young Homs, was a memetic sex god...Okay, at least in his mind! Maybe even a little outside, since the young Homs tended to have more dates than his teammates could shake a stick at. When Shulk wasn't romancing the ladies and strutting around half-naked, he was studying or engaging in intellectual battles. Sadly not many of his teammates actually enjoyed such things, so Shulk was a bit of an annoyance to them. But not to worry! He was their teammate! They couldn't get rid of him if they tried. And since he safely knew that, he could be as annoying as he wanted. :)**

* * *

"My feet hurt. We've been walking for two hours straight. Are you sure he lives here?" Shulk moaned at his companions.

"He lives here. I've studied every member's record to know exactly where they live and other such important information." Samus said.

"You look through our records?! I thought only Mario could access those!"

Through her visor, Shulk saw Samus's eyes light up mischievously.

"Please, anybody with a bobby pin and understanding of filing can get the information they want in that joint."

"Somehow, I feel violated."

"You probably like that feeling."

Shulk rubbed both his shoulders sensually. "Maybe I do."

"Eww, don't do that. It creeps me out. Why can't you wear decent clothing?"

Shulk sniffed. "I'm sorry I couldn't put anything else on, considering we were ATTACKED!"

A few passersby turned their heads towards the strange crew. Samus shot Shulk a dirty look.

"Be quiet, you're drawing attention." She whispered in a sharp tone.

"I'm drawing attention?! I'm talking to the woman in a freaking power suit!"

Samus stopped and removed her helmet. Her ponytail fell against her back.

"You're right. I do stick out." She tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. "I'm going to go and buy some clothing."

"Wahh!" Shulk spread his arms out and feet in disbelief. "You're leaving me and Pac-Man alone?!" We'll never find Rockman's place if you ditch us all of a sudden!"

Samus pointed past Shulk's head towards the east. "He lives in that building over there. It's pretty hard to miss."

Indeed it was. It was perhaps the biggest building in that whole city. It was strapped with solar panels all over and had a barbed wire gate enclosing it.

"Oh..."

"Pac-Man, you'll take care of Shulk for me, won't you?"

"What do you mean take care of?! I'm a grown man!"

"Sure you are."

"Waku Waku! (_You can count on me!_)"

"Good," Samus said before running in a whole other direction.

Leaving Shulk and Pac-Man alone~

Shulk crossed his arms tightly and grumbled. "She just up and left us."

"Waku Waku. (_She went to buy you two clothes._)"

"Hah! Like I need clothes! Let's just go."

So the mismatched pair finished their trek towards the large house with solar panels. Upon closer inspection, Shulk also saw they had a wonderful green garden, and grass.

"Rockman isn't living too shabby, is he?"

"Waku Waku. (_I think he's filthy rich, actually_)"

Shulk did a double take. "Seriously? He's rich! How is he rich?!"

Pac-Man just shrugged and touched the barbed wire gate's door.

"Waku! (_It's open!_)"

Indeed it was. With a gentle push the gate swung open with a creak.

Shulk pushed past Pac-Man with a determined look.

"The sooner we talk to him the sooner we can get something to eat."

"Waku Waku! (_I'm not hungry_)" Pac-Man said quietly.

Now Shulk knew that was a lie. That fat yellow dot was hungrier than anybody else in the household. He chowed down his food like he's never eaten before and always has thirds.

What was going on...

"Pac-Man, all you do is eat."

"Waku waku waku. (_That's not really fair. You make me sound like a pig_)"

Shulk was surprised, Pac-Man sounded a bit sensitive. He was even fiddling with his gloves in an uncomfortable manner.

Shulk would get to the bottom of this.

"Look, Pac-Man-" Before he could get another word in, Pac-Man gave him a dirty look.

Or not...

"Never mind." Shulk mumbled turning away from the walking head and knocking on the door.

Shulk rubbed his arms. They were starting to get goosebumps. The air was a lot colder than he was used to. Even though it was summer in his homeworld, it seemed to be autumn here. The leaves were colors ranging from gold to amber, littering the ground everywhere.

"Achoo!" Shulk wiped his nose.

Pac-Man handed him a tissue.

"Thanks, Pac-Man," Shulk accepted the tissue. Before wiping his nose Shulk paused and stared at the tissue.

"Pac-Man, where did this come from?"

"Waku waku! (_Hammerspace, baby!_)"

Shulk, where else would he keep anything?

"Well~~~~~" Shulk wiggled his pinkie.

No, we aren't going there.

"Fine! When is somebody going to answer this door! I thought people worked for Rockman's dad?!" Shulk said before sneezing again.

As if by magic Pac-Man and Shulk heard the door being unlocked.

"Hello, can I help you with anything?" A small boy with a youthful voice opened the door.

He must have been one of the robots that worked in Dr. Right's household. Shulk vaguely remembered Rockman saying they had a few robots that helped every once in awhile.

Shulk studied him. He assumed he was one of those emo-punk kids. He was wearing an over-sized black and red shirt with a flaming guitar on it. Under that there were jeans that looked like they were chewed by a lion. Two screws acting like stud earrings glinted in his ears.

Shulk also noted his hair was spiked up 12 inches above his head.

Shulk decided he liked anime. Silly boy.

Shulk cleared his throat. "Yes, is this Rockman's household?"

"Yeah..."

Woop! That meant he and Pac-Man could get some food and actually sleep in a bed. He smiled at Pac-Man who gave him a bewildered thumbs-up.

"Great! Then can we speak with him?"

The young boy furrowed his brow. "Are you serious?" His tone sounded disgusted.

"Wha? Of course I'm serious! We need to speak with Rockman immediately!"

The boy turned away from Shulk and looked over at Pac-Man.

"Hey, Pac! What's up!" He said cheerfully.

"Waku Waku! (_Hey Rock! Nothing much!_)"

Shulk turned with shock to look at Pac-Man. Then he turned back to look at the boy. Those eyes...

"Wha-wait?! You're Rockman?! You can take off your helmet?!"

Rockman made phlegmy sound from the back of his throat. "Are you kidding me? I take my helmet off _every freaking day_ at dinner!"

Ahh, Shulk forgot about that.

"I'm done here," Rockman said beginning to close the door.

Shulk stuck his biscuit-footed shoe in the doorway before Rockman got the chance.

"Wait, Rockman, I'm sorry! It just slipped my mind," Shulk said quickly.

Rockman opened the door wider and looked at him petulantly. "Sorry might not work."

Shulk pressed his palms together in an act of apology.

"Sorry!"

Rockman sighed. "What are you guys doing here?"

Inside Shulk was all smiles. Apologizing had actually worked. Well, Rockman was a kid. He probably didn't hold onto grudges.

"I was knocked unconscious by a boulder. When I woke up I was suddenly here, with Pac-Man and-"

Rockman burst out laughing. "You got hit with one of those slow-ass rocks?! Your reflexes must be awful!"

"Nrg! What did you say you little brat?! Like you're any better! You probably jumped into the first portal you saw and got lucky enough to find your hometown. You know what, it doesn't matter!" Shulk suddenly grabbed Rockman's wrist and tried pulling him out the doorway.

"You're coming with us! We have to figure something out!"

Rockman snatched his wrist away. "Piss off! No way I'm leaving here! I came to my hometown on purpose! I'm practically treated like a god here. Everybody loves me!" Rockman's eyes glittered in a strange way at Shulk.

It angered him.

"Listen here you little pus-pocket! Just because you're in your hometown and finally learned how to take your armor off-"

"What do you mean, 'learned' I've been taking my armor off ever since I joined!"

"Wai, what?! You have?! Pac-Man, he has?!" Shulk turned shocked towards Pac-Man.

"Waku waku. Waku waku. (_When we went to the beach, he was wearing a swimsuit. We were all wearing swimsuits._)"

Shulk was doubled shocked. "You can wear a swimsuit, Pac-Man?!"

Pac-Man faced palmed.

Rockman rolled his eyes. "You know what, I'm done. Go away, Shulk." Once again he began closing the door.

And once again Shulk stuck his foot in the door.

"Come on, I made one little mess up! It's not like I forgot your name or something!"

"What is my name, Shulk?"

Shulk was surprised he had asked such an easy question. Did he think Shulk was stupid? No! Shulk was genius! A hot genius! Everybody told him that. So he ought to believe it!

Smiling his suavest smile, Shulk leaned down to Rockman's height and said:

"Rockman, your name is Rockman."

Rockman nodded a bit.

"Uh-huh, uh-huh. Suck my dick, Shulk!" He said before slamming the door in his face.

Shulk stood there dumbfounded. He looked at his partner. His partner who looked slightly miffed. If that was possible with that strange smile on his face.

"Waku. Waku waku waku. (_Rock. His name is Rock._)" Pac-Man deadpanned.

"What?! But he goes by 'Rockman'!"

"Waku Waku waku. Waku waku! (_It's his superhero name. Superhero name. Like Superman!_)

"Seriously?"

"Waku Waku, waku."(_You don't even remember when he introduce himself, huh?_)"

Shulk shook his head.

Pac-Man wanted to sit down in defeat.

"Waku. (_Knock again._)"

"I don't want to knock..."

"Waku! (_Just do it!_)"

"Okay! Okay!" Shulk knocked again, much louder than before. Not believing Rockman would actually answer.

But sure enough, Rockman answered. Albeit with an angry expression.

"What?!"

"Waku Waku!(_We need to talk, Rock._)

Rockman shook his head. "I'm sorry, Pac. But I can't. Not as long as Shulk's here."

"What's wrong with me?!" Shulk cried incredulously.

"I hate your guts." Rockman said simply.

This came as a shock to Shulk. He and Rockman barely spoke to each other. When they did, Rockman was always polite and helpful in every way. What had happened?

"Why do you hate my gu-"

"Rock~~" A feminine voice called from the house. A young girl with a blond pony similar to Samus walked in the doorway.

"Rock, I'm making your favourite tonight~"

Rockman lost all interest in his teammates and focused on the blonde girl. His eyes sparkling.

"Really? Really?! With the sauce and everything?!" His voice had gone up in pitch and his movements were excited.

The girl smiled and nodded. "Mmmhmm! I sure am!" She then seemed to notice Shulk and Pac-Man.

"Oh, hello! Rock, are these friends of yours?" She smiled sweetly at them. She was holding a broom and gave off a very house-wifey feeling. The type of feeling that lulled most men into a sense of security.

Rockman blocked her view a bit. "No, they aren't friends. Just some random people."

"Oh, is that so...Well, I'm going to go run your bath! So hurry with your business!" She turned quickly on her heel and skipped away.

Rockman turned towards the two. "Like I said, I'm not just gonna up and leave."

Shulk leaned down near Rockman and started prodding him with his elbow, a sly grin stretched across his face.

"Ah, I see why you won't leave. Rockman, you should have just told you had a girlfriend. We would have understood~"

Rockman looked at him, repulsed.

"That's my sister. Friggin' sicko."

Oh...

Rockman slammed the door for the second time that day, in their faces.

"Waku Waku! (_They told me you were smart._)"

"I am smart! I am!" Shulk sighed. "We might as well just leave, Pac-Man. He's not going to cooperate with us."

Pac-Man shook his head. "Waku waku waku! (_He will! I know he will! Our secret weapon will be here soon!_)"

Shulk had no idea what he meant but Pac-Man was older than him. Meaning he was either wiser or more senile.

Pac-Man knocked on the door loudly accompanied with a few "Wakus"

Rockman opened the door aggressively. "WHAT?! I told you guys! Just leave!"

"Waku waku waku. Waku waku! (_Come on, we're friends Rock. We're friends!_)"

Rockman shook his head sadly. "I know. I know. Us third-parties gotta stick together. But I can't, I can't let you in as long as you're hanging with _that_ guy!" Rockman glared at Shulk. A glare which Shulk returned.

"I'm third-party too, you know."

Rockman wagged his finger. "No, your ancestors are third-party. You? You're Nintendo's bitch now."

"You mother-I'm sick of some snot-nosed kid disrespecting me like this!" Shulk whipped out his Monado. "Let's go, Rockman!"

Rockman's hand transformed into a blaster. "I didn't think it would have to go like this! Bring it, Shulk!"

"Oi! What are you three doing just chatting outside like that?!" The men turned their gaze towards a voice calling from afar.

"Oh, Samus! Thank God! You're finally back!" Shulk started waving towards her.

"Samus...Samus-nee..." Shulk heard Rockman whimper in a queer voice behind him.

Pac-Man pumped his fist in triumphant.

Samus sauntered her way past the gate. She was wearing an orange tank (Geez, wasn't she cold? Shulk thought) and jean shorts. She was carrying a paper bag in her arms.

"The stores here are really nice. They gave me a coupon for next time I shop there. Here Shulk!" Samus dug in her bag and threw him a indigo shirt.

"Thanks, Samu—Grf!" Shulk's speech was cut off when a cold, strawberry flavored food was shoved in his mouth.

"I bought Popsicles too. Here you go, Pac-Man." Samus handed him an orange-flavored treat.

"Samus-nee, what are you doing here...?" Rockman's voice sounded hoarse.

Samus finally looked at him and gave Rockman a sunny smile. "Hey, Rocky!" She walked towards him and shoved a black popsicle in his mouth. It was oiled-flavored.

Samus ruffled Rockman's hair. "I forget how cute you look in modern clothes."

"I don't, I hardly..." Rockman's face, to Shulk's shock, exploded into red.

Samus grinned. "Sure you don't." She pinched his cheek in a "You're a cutie-patooty" way and Shulk was stupefied at how Rockman practically melted into her touch.

"You wanna come in? My sister's making dinner. And she always makes way too much. Plus since you came all this way, well, it would be rude not inviting you guys for dinner..." Rockman said fidgeting.

"Thanks, Rocky. I guess we can catch up a bit." Like a true gentleman Rockman opened the door for Samus and ushered her in.

He threw a glare at Shulk before saying: "Come on, you come too." He turned away and entered his house.

Shulk stared at a smug Pac-Man.

"Samus?" He said.

"Waku. (_Samus._)"

"Seriously, her?"

Pac-Man slowly nodded.

Shulk had no idea why Rockman would like such a scary woman. But hey, that scary woman at least got them into his house.

* * *

After Rockman had introduced them to his father who Pac-Man and Shulk both thought seemed good natured, and his sister who he had to lead aside so he could explain a few things, they all sat down in Rockman's room for refreshments.

"You have a lot of posters, Rocky," Samus said glancing around his rooms.

"Yeah, I know. A lot of them are old though...I should probably take that down."

"Eh, I think they look alright." Samus sipped her lemonade while Rockman beamed.

"Waku waku! (_You sure like Robots!_)" Pac-Man observed.

Indeed Rockman seemed to. He had a bunch of posters of characters from different shows and movies. XJ9, R2-D2, Franky Cyborg, Rosie, Mahoro Andou...

Shulk thought that maybe Rockman was kinda racist.

"Oh, I forgot something, excuse me for a moment," Samus got up and left the room.

Leaving all three men. Alone.

Shulk gulped down his drink and slammed the cup down onto the table.

"Samus, huh?"

Rockman scolded at him. "'Samus', what?"

"You wanna give it to her?"

"Excuse me?"

Shulk whipped out his Monado and place it at his pelvis before activating it. A long stream of light sprouted from it.

Pac-Man quietly drank his lemonade preparing himself for the next scene.

Shulk smirked before continuing. "Like, you wanna totally give. It. To. Her.?"

Rockman's scowl deepened along with his blush. "Shulk..." He said in a warning tone.

Shulk began to thrust his hips in time with the Monado.

"You'd probably be like, 'Is this alright Samus-nee? Oh, Samus-nee, this feels so good. S-Samus-nee, I can, I can barely control myself, Samus-nee!"

Rockman stood up and hurled a gear at Shulk. "Go to hell, stupid bastard!"

Shulk deflected the spinning gear. "Geez, calmed down, Rockman. It's just a joke."

"You're making fun of me and Samus-nee! I don't appreciate it!"

"Appreciate what?" Samus suddenly said from behind Rockman.

"Ah, Samus-nee! You surprised me!" Rockman placed a hand over his heart.

"I get that a lot." Samus leaned against the doorway and narrowed her eyes at Shulk. "Why is your Monado like that?"

To Pac-Man's amusement, Shulk put his Monado back in its rightful position in an embarrassed manner.

"Anyway, Roll says you guys' bath is ready. That's all." Samus turned away from them and went on her own merry way.

"Whoa good! Nothing sounds better than getting clean right now! Eh, Pac-Man? Pac-Man...?" Shulk expected an answer but Pac-Man had already sprinted out the room with a mysterious wash towel in his hand.

""I guess he was more excited than me. You coming, Rocky~? Of course you are, you wanna be a good host!"

Rockman sat down seiza style. "I'm not bathing in front of you! My Dad will probably accompany you. So I don't have to be a good host."

"Suit yourself~" Shulk waved goodbye before stepping out of the room.

* * *

"Pac-Man, you're bathing with your gloves _and _boots on?!"

"Waku waku waku! (_They're bathing gloves and boots!_)" Pac-Man said waving around yellow rubber gloves and boots.

Shulk sighed. "I swear I live with some weird people."

"Waku waku. (_Look who's talking._)"

"What was that, Pac-Man?"

"Waku waku. (_I don't stutter._)" Pac-Man said with a warm smile.

That felt very cold to Shulk.

Shulk sat on a stool and began filling a random bucket with water. All while thinking how he hoped Rockman would decide to come with him on their journey home. If he stayed any longer alone with Pac-Man and Samus he might not make it back alive.

You probably won't.

"Author don't say such negative stuff!"

I'm sorry.

"Stop screaming nonsense, Shulk. My sister is on the other side of the room!" Rockman said stepping in the room with a bar of soap.

Shulk got up and smirked at him. "Aha, I knew you couldn't resist us. I thought your Dad was supposed to keep us company."

Rockman shoved the bar of soap into his stomach. "He was busy, so he told me to do it. How can you run around so shamelessly? Cover yourself a little." Rockman then motioned towards Shulk's lower uncovered half.

Shulk let out an exasperated breath. "It's a BATHROOM! I'm supposed to be naked! What about Pac-Man?! He's walking around with SHOES in the bathroom!"

Rockman examined Pac-Man.

"I don't see anything wrong with his attire. He's wearing bathing boots. And very stylish ones at that."

Pac-Man gave a thumbs-up. "Waku Waku. Waku waku waku! (_Thank you, Rock! I got them on sale!_)"

"Oh really? Where did you get them from?"

"Waku Waku! (_That nice place up north in Delfino Isle._)

"I can't believe I missed them!"

"Wait, wait, what are bathing boots?!" Shulk asked confused.

Both Rockman and Pac-Man gave him "Silly you" looks.

"I can't believe you, Shulk! They're all the rage!"

"Waku waku waku. Waku waku! (_Stop playing with us. Everybody has a pair of bathing boots!_)"

Shulk shook his head. "Nuh-Uh, you guys are not about to feed me shit, and tell me these things are popular."

Rockman and Pac-Man exchanged pity looks. Poor Shulk, their expressions read.

"Don't give each other those looks! It's bullshit! It's bullshit and I know it!"

Rockman patted his shoulder. "Calm down, Shulk. Don't be hysterical. Just enjoy your bath."

"I will not calm down! They are not popular-Oh my gosh, you're wearing them!" Shulk pointed at Rockman's blue covered feet.

Rockman looked at his feet, then tapped his heel. "Um no, actually, my feet just look like this..." Rockman sounded a bit embarrassed.

Shulk then noticed something else.

"You're wearing a towel? What's the matter Rock? You ashamed to show your body?"

Rockman pulled at the towel hanging from his hips. "I'm not about to walk around with it all out like you."

Pac-Man squirted a large amount of soap in his hand, and prepared to ignore the next conversation that was going to take place.

Shulk put his arm around Rockman's shoulder and tilted his head so their faces were close.

Rockman noticeably tried to distance their face's but didn't succeed.

"It's okay, Rockman. Not everyone can be as impressive as me. You don't have to feel the need to compete."

Rockman made an uncomfortable noise. "I don't have to compete with you. Now stop touching me, it's gross."

"Oh, I know what it is!" Shulk said ignoring Rockman downright. He leaned in even closer and said with a grin: "Your dad built you like a Ken doll, didn't he?"

That got Rockman riled up. "My dad was not cruel enough to build us like Barbies! I have junk! I just don't have to show it to you!"

Shulk let go of Rockman and spun around the room. Suddenly he grabbed his chin like a gentleman-genius. "Right, you're leaving all of that for Samus, right?"

Rockman clenched his hands into fists. "Shulk, no."

"Lighten up, Rocky. It's just funny to think you like ole iron arms."

Rockman kicked the ground a little, and twiddled his fingers. "Well, she's really great. I know a lot of the members think she's scary or rough but, I think she's wonderful."

It was at that moment, that Shulk knew Rockman was in too deep. Oh boy,

Rockman continued. "Like, she's strong, and smart. She knows how to fix a flat tire and can update her arm cannon. She's got a good sense of humor, I mean she can be a little mean or offensive but, that's just how some people are. She's always nice to me too. When I first came into the household, she was the person who greeted me. Ever since then she's taken me under her wing, she's been so nice to me. It was impossible for these types of feelings to not form. At least I think so. I know a lot of guys will just call her 'hot' or talk about her body but, she's more than that! She's a person! A person who full-heartedly believe-"

Rockman was cut off from his saccharine speech when Shulk cut in:

"Yeah man but, dat ass tho! EEP!" Shulk was shocked when suddenly he was kicked to the ground, and Rockman's fist was in his face.

His fist and molten eyes.

"What did you say, Shulk?" He asked in a steady tone.

Shulk held up his arms in defense. "Easy, Rocky. I was just kidding. You know I was just kidding! I never use words like "Dat" and "Tho" in my normal sentences."

Rockman lowered his fist. "I, I guess you're right.

Shulk waved his hands apologetically. "I should have thought more of what I was saying. I mean, it's obvious you wouldn't appreciate that. I mean, you're most likely, a 'Rack-man' aren't you?"

Shulk, why? Do you not love life?

"What do you mean by thaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Rockman's foot came crashing down near Shulk's head. His towel fell across Shulk's chest and laid there like a broken dove.

"I'm sick of your disrespect! How dare you talk about the woman I love like that! You think you're funny, huh, Shulk?! You're not! You're nothing but a freaking sicko!"

Shulk waved his hands wildly and looked Rockman up and down nervously. "Okay! Okay! I get it! Just put your drill away!"

"I HAVEN'T EVEN BEGUN TO PULL MY DRILL OUT!" Rockman said, his hands quickly transforming into said drill.

Shulk waved at Pac-Man. "Pac-Man! Pac-Man! Help! Rockman's gone crazy!"

Pac-Man scrubbed his arms more vigorously.

Waku waku! Waku waku waku. (_I'm too old for such games. You're on your own, kid._)"

"PAC-MAN!

* * *

On the other side of the male bathing room, two blonds were soaking.

"Do you hear all of that screaming? Maybe leaving the boys alone wasn't a great idea."

"Rock can handle himself! He is the hero of this land!"

"I suppose, I suppose. I'm more worried about Shulk actually."

"My brother doesn't seem to like him very much."

"He doesn't."

"He likes you however, right?"

"Rock? Oh yes, we get along well."

"Don't get along too well."

"What?"

"I'm telling you to keep your hands off of Rock."

"Okay...?"

"Good."

* * *

Two lone figures stood atop a high building. The air was brisk but did not seem to bother either.

"You will be fine after I am gone, correct?" One wheezed in a robotic tone.

The other played with his mustache and nodded twice. "Of course I will! I know this area better than you! My subjects are more than ready!"

"Watch your tone, Doctor. Remember who gave your subjects the power they wield."

The older man dipped his head quickly in a bow. "Yes, yes. Forgive me. I forget myself near someone so young."

"I am hardly young, mortal. My life is eternal."

The older one rolled his eyes mentally. "Of course."

Pulling out a blue orb the younger one prepared to take his leave. "I am off now. I have two very important people to see." He paused a moment and chuckled. "Actually one, but the other shall be fun to crush too."

The young man held up the orb and disappeared in a flash. Leaving the older one to twiddle his mustache in excitement.


	16. Gaiden Red: Part 1

Author Note:

Happy New Year's everyone! I hope everybody has a wonderful new year and I hope to do more for this story! Please enjoy, review, etc...

へ║ ◉ ᴥ ◉ ║〜

* * *

Chapter 15: Gaiden Red: Part 1.

**A note about Villager: Villager, a young happy man, was always smiling. This smile was bright, contagious, and all types of creepy. But he couldn't help it! He was always so full of joy! Even though he was the mayor of a town constantly in disarray, he always seemed to find time to fish, plant flowers and go about decorating his home. And his citizens loved him. For whatever reason, they loved him. Well, them. They loved, them...**

* * *

A small young woman sat in a field of flowers. Her fingers whispered across different petals. Roses, lilies, violets... she appeared to study them all in awe.

Taking her round hand, she gently squeezed the thin green stem of the lily. The petals shivered and dew dropped from them.

With the cruel innocence of a child, the young woman uprooted the dainty flower, ending it.

Smiling, the young woman got up and brushed the dirt from her knees and dress. Holding the flower close to her chest she walked over to the young man recumbent on a worn bench. A pile of flowers sat on his lap, his hands going to work on a chain of flowers.

She gently pushed her lily into his face in a aggressive manner. Like, take my lily!

"Oh," he sat up and took the flower from her. "Thank you." He put the lily in his already large pile and went back to his flower chain.

The young woman smiled.

* * *

It was weird. Really weird. That's what he decided. He had even asked her.

"Weird? Well yes, of course they are weird!" She said stretching her left leg and touching her toes.

"But, they're kids. So I guess it's not that weird...I just don't know what to do with all these flowers. I only have one head. I can't keep making flower crowns, Wii Fit."

Wii Fit Trainer nodded her flower crown slipping over her eyes.

"Yeah, you can't..."

"I just wish I knew why they wanted to give me so many flowers..."

Wii Fit Trainer, (You know what, let's just call her Wii Fit for short. It's too much of a hassle to write "Trainer" all the time) Wii Fit looked up at him.

"Mac, you don't know why?" Wii Fit could barely contained what seemed to be a grin.

Little Mac raised an eyebrow in irritation. He already felt vexed with the Villagers coming to harass him every couple of minutes. Now Wii Fit was laughing at him.

"I assumed they see me as an older brother figure." Little Mac said. That was what he had deduced. He was almost sure of it. He had always liked the thought of being an older brother. So when the Villagers had started coming to him for everything and gifting him with random items, he assumed his dream had come true.

But no, Wii Fit and her knowing pale eyes told him otherwise.

Wii Fit met Little Mac's stare with a small smile. Should she tell him? No, it would be better if...

She looked over to the young man in the red shirt digging up fossils.

"Mura-kun, would you come here for a moment?" Wii Fit called out to him.

Villager put his shovel somewhere and sauntered over to the two.

"_What's up?"_

He signed/wrote. It was really hard to explain. Not once did any of the members hear a sound come out of his mouth. Or any Villager to be exact. Somehow they communicated what they thought through strange speech bubbles, telepathy, and sign language. As confusing as that sounded, his teammates were able to tell you exactly what they were saying without trouble.

"Mac has a question for you."

Villager swung his arms back and forth in a playful manner and turned towards Little Mac.

"_What is it? Whatcha want?" _His smile was wide and perpetual.

What was Little Mac going to ask again...He had almost forgotten...Oh yes!

"Why do you guys keep bringing me flowers?"

"_Wow!"_ Villager threw up his hands in a defensive manner. _"I have never brought you flowers! I bring you bugs! Me and the guys bring you bugs! Well... 'cept George. 'Cause he's weird." _

"_For the last time! My name is Jorge!"_

"_Shut up! No one cares, George!" _Villager shook his fist happily at George. Whose real name was Jorge.

"I don't really care if George is weird. Please answer my question. Why do you-" Little Mac received a joyful glare from Villager and quickly corrected himself.

"Okay, why do the _girls_ keep bringing me flowers?" He looked over at Wii Fit on the last word who seemed to be sniggering while doing calf lifts.

Villager gave him a strange look. _"Oh that? You know why." _

"I really don't actually."

The next thing Villager said shocked Little Mac. It not only shocked him, it scared him.

Terrified him.

"I hardly doubt I will be terrified." Little Mac said almost rolling his eyes.

Villager gave a happy smile before saying:

"_Because you're their fiance."_

Little Mac laughed. "You can't be serious."

Villager nodded, a sure expression on his face. "You said you'd marry them."

Little Mac stopped laughing and turned his face towards Wii Fit. She looked puzzled.

"I what? Please explain more thoroughly," Little Mac said leaning closer towards Villager. He had to hear it again. He had to hear it in carefully articulated words. Then he could say it, he could say,

You're a damn liar.

However Villager only said: _"You look mad."_

Little Mac gritted his teeth. He wasn't mad. He was just upset. This whole situation had been very stressful. He was tired, agitated and highly confused. To be honest, he wished he didn't get stuck here. Hanging in Villager's town? Hell no! But that was how it rolled. He wished he wasn't stuck with Wii Fit! That woman irked him! Why? He didn't even want to get into it. Was he mad? No. Was he very irritated? YES.

"No, Villager. I'm not mad." Little Mac said.

"_Okay. You 'member that party. Y'know, that one Wario threw?"_

Wii Fit sat herself on the bench. "Ahh, you mean that large romp. Terrible. Awesome, but terrible. We all got so plastered." Wii Fit almost sounded proud.

"Don't sound so proud, Wii Fit." Little Mac pointed out. Just to be redundant peeps.

"You got plastered too, Little Mac."

To Villager's amusement Little Mac's face deepened into a fine crimson color. He choked out an answer.

"That was an accident."

And it really was...

* * *

_On one night in the Smash house a wondrous thing happened. The original twelve were invited to a gala. This gala was in order to celebrate the characters' achievements in video games._

_Those original twelve, invited several people as their dates. Mario brought Peach. Link brought Zelda. Samus brought Snake. Ness brought Lucas. (Lucas's didn't like being called his date though.) _

_But that wasn't all! Palutena left for a large festival in Angelworld and Bowser had a government meeting and brought his son along because he didn't trust the people in the household. _

_With good reason._

_Wario gathered the house members in one room along with a rolling table. A large grin was spread across his face like peanut butter. _

_Little Mac sat between both Pits. One who was very upset that Palutena didn't invite him to the festival. He was blubbering slightly and both Little Mac and Black Pit were trying to ignore him. _

"_Lady Palutena didn't even ask if I wanted to come!" Pit whined to his two companions. _

_Little Mac shrugged and tried leaning farther away from the teary angel. _

_His shoulder bumped into something soft. _

"_Hey man, don't lean so much!" Black Pit said pushing him away into Pit. Who then threw his arms around the Italian. _

"_I'm her best man! Her warrior! I wanted to go!" He sobbed into Mac's ear. _

_Little Mac felt a bubble of discomfort rise up in his throat. "Black Pit...Your brother." He looked over at the darker sibling._

_Little Mac remembered watching Black Pit's eyes glint mean-spiritedly. They said, "Better you than me" _

"_Bastard.." Little Mac mumbled before Rockman barked out. "Stop being a bitch, Pit! Man up!" Pit let go of Mac with a hurt and shocked look. Ever since The original twelve had left, Rockman had been in a foul mood. One could only guess why._

"_So listen up, people!" Wario started his speech. The reason he had invited them all. _

"_If you haven't noticed, more than a few of us have left the household. Those said people won't be back for a couple of hours. Those people, are responsible people. Those pe-" Wario was cut off when a pale and regal hand suddenly shot into the air. _

"_Please get to the point, Wario." Marth said briskly. _

_Wario let out a hefty sigh and rolled his eyes. "Fine! We're throwing a party! A wild party! Think of it as a way to greet the newbies!" Wario's face broke out into a crazy grin. His excitement was blatant. It was infectious and even though some of the residents were uneasy they actually wanted some of this exhilaration. _

_Then Pikachu had to ruin the fizzing mood by saying. "Meta Knight's not gonna let us throw this party. He'll tell the rest of them and possibly rip us a new one." He uttered with a flat tone. _

_Wario waved this off. "Naw, 'we got that covered. Guess who brought Dance Dance Revolution?" _

"_You did," A few people droned in the group. _

_Wario nodded. "He'll let us have this party. You know that man loves to dance." _

_Agreements mumbled and rumbled throughout the room. _

"_What makes you think the rest of us won't tell?" Wii Fit piped up in the back. Little Mac hadn't even noticed her before and he jumped a little. _

_Wario groaned. "This is why I wished more of you women had left. Always cramping the frat house style." _

_Wii Fit shook her head with a small smile. "I'm not going to 'cramp the frat house' style. As long as I get to do what I want to do. I'm sure Rosetta and Lucina feel the same way." Both females muttered something about not really giving a fig and that they wanted to party just as much as the rest of them._

_Wario clapped joyfully. "Good! I was worried you girls would give us a problem! With all the girls on board we can get wasted!" _

_Nana huffed angrily in the back. Wasn't she a woman? Popo rubbed her back in comforting circles. _

* * *

_Meta Knight's feet must have been of fire. He was moving fast as lightning. Even Sonic seemed impressed by the quick and fancy footwork. Little Mac sat near Wario's pop-up bar watching Meta Knight smoke Yoshi in super hard mode. _

"_Can I get you something, son?" Wario said cleaning out an elegant wine cup. _

_Little Mac shook his head. "I'm good." _

"_Come on, Mac! Wario and the others are letting us drink booze! Once in a life time chance!"Pit said slightly flushed. Mac wondered what mixture that purple drink was? _

"_I'm sure you'll have more chances, geez." Black Pit mumbled near. However Little Mac could see him sipping an amber liquid. He seemed to be having a hard time getting it down. _

_Little Mac looked around to confirm this statement by the Pits. Sure enough, Toon Link and Nana were near him sipping two different types of alcohol. _

"_Are you guys drinking too?" He shouted at them. That was the only way they'd here him over the bumping K-pop and techno music. _

_Toon Link looked at him and held his cup to Little Mac's nose. "You say somethin' Mac? You wanna try my drink?" _

_Nana didn't even answer him. Instead she shyly looked down, her head receding like a turtle into her shell. _

_As much as Little Mac liked kids, he sure couldn't deal with them. _

_Bowing closer down to Toon Link's level he repeated himself in a louder tone. "Are you drinking too?" _

_Toon Link nodded and to Little Mac's astonishment went into a lengthy description of what he indeed was drinking._

"_This is Hylian Goron ale. Made in the mines by the Gorons themselves. They mix it from bomb flower leaves growing from the cliffs near their homes. They then ferment them between precious jewels in order to coax out their shy sweet flavors. After mixing it with ground minerals they then hang it upside down in the most boiling hot area of their caves. After leaving it like this for three years, they take the drink down and sell it to the masses. But Mac my dear boy, this is not the only thing lying in this unassuming cup! This wonderful drink is also thirty percent Lon Lon Milk! Which if you haven't heard is from the wonderful Lon Lon Ranch! And blah blah blach." _

_No Toon Link wasn't saying those things. But that was what Little Mac was beginning to hear. If alcohol made him this talkative, he feared what he might be like once legal drinking age had been reached. _

_Ignoring the young blond, he turned to see Lucina and Reflet drinking cocktails and engaging in light conversation. _

"You having a hard time?"_ A small voice said from nowhere. Or not quite said, but thought, felt. _

"_Villager?" Little Mac said trying to find the little guy. _

"Down here." _In a small seat. A seat that was only meant for children. It was primary red, clunky, made of simple shapes. There Villager sat sipping on a beer. _

"_Oh, Villager, what's up?" Mac leaned down to speak with the tiny guy. His red shirt multi-colored from the strobe light. A million smiles flashing before Little Mac's eyes from the glinting. _

"You alright, Mac? You look lost." _Villager asked. _

_Little Mac shrugged. "A bit. Not used to this." At that moment he heard an upset Yoshi babbling to Meta Knight._

"_You wish to try once more? You do not possess the patience or fortitude!" Which was Meta Knight speak for you ain't got the skillz to beat me._

_Yoshi huffed an answer. _

"_Alright then. Let us commence!" Meta Knight said before thumping music banged out. Meta Knight and Yoshi started dancing like crazy people._

_Yeah, this wasn't Little Mac's scene. He slept early. He got up early. He jogged every single morning. He watched what he ate. This party was overwhelming._

"You know they have soda here, right?" _Villager said. _

"_They do?" _

_Villager nodded. He then produced a plastic bottle and poured Little Mac a drink. Little Mac took it and sniffed it. Smelled like Big Red. Bubble-gummy goodness._

_Little Mac took a sip._

* * *

"I don't want to continue this flashback." Little Mac said pulling at his hair. Old feelings of embarrassment were coming forth.

"No, we have to continue this. Wii Fit said piously. "For the audience."

Villager nodded. _"For the audience."_

Yeah Mac, for the audience.

"But,"

FOR THE AUDIENCE BECAUSE I FUDGING SAID!

So Little Mac shut the hell up so we could continue the flashback.

* * *

_The DJ (Pac-Man) had started playing smooth R&amp;B and jazz._

_Little Mac leaned against the wall. What color was it? Green? Blue? Little Mac didn't care. Whatever what was in that Big Red was some stuff! Little Mac's stress had melted away. He began to tell jokes to both the Pits once he had finished his drink. Both were already pretty wasted, so they started laughing maniacally before Mac could get to the punchline. _

_Then Rosetta tugged at his hand for a dance. Usually Little Mac would quietly refuse due to shyness, but what the hell?! Why not dance?_

_It was a bad idea. Little Mac could only dance when his head was on straight. Instead he ended up leaning on her, getting dragged around. _

_Rosetta didn't really seem to mind. It seemed to amuse her and she let him hang on for a while before setting him down near Shulk who had opened up a few Assist trophies and was having a deep discussion with Waluigi and Stafy. Stafy's eyes grew bigger and bigger and bigger at what Shulk was spewing. _

_Wii Fit walked over to him and pulled a cigarette from her yoga pants. Fumbling for a lighter she greeted Mac._

"_You look awful." _

_Well, that was sort of a greeting. _

"_I'm talking to a woman with no irises..." Little Mac slurred. _

_Wii Fit shrugged and lit her cigarette. _

"_Touche. Want a taste?" _

"_So I can cough my brains out, no." _

"_Please, you aren't going to cough out your brains." Wii Fit smirked. _

"_What's the matter, you scared?" Wii Fit hovered her cigarette in front of his face. _

"_Just one blow, Little Mac~" Her voice dipped lower into a corrupting tone. _

_Fine! Little Mac would just get it over with. It didn't matter that much. He was already woozy, did it matter? Doc Louis wouldn't find out. _

_Little Mac snatched the rolled up piece of paper from Wii Fit, and took a puff._

_Shit. Shit. What type of cigarette was that..._

"_Wii Fit, I feel like I'm floating." Little Mac stared up at the ceiling and let his knees give out. _

"_I know right! I got some good weed this time!" _

_Weed. Weed. Weed!_

"_Fuck..." Little Mac let his head hit the ground. _

"_I'm high." Little Mac said simply. _

"_You're welcome." Wii Fit said taking a long drawl and enjoying the rainbows. _

_Little Mac didn't know how long he laid there before a pair of striped socks and bloomers appeared above him. _

_One of the Villagers. Which one was this? She had pink hair. Pink hair._

"_Ai?" Little Mac mumbled into the ground. _

_She nodded. He felt his tank top get pulled and his arm get yanked. By multiple different hands. Somehow they got him up. _

_Little Mac focused his vision on the little helpers. _

_One, two, three, four. Oh, the female Villagers. They had picked his sorry butt up. _

"_Thanks." he said thickly. "You guys are very helpful." _

"Are you alright?" _Ai said. All the others looked at him imploringly. _

_Mac nodded. "Thanks, girls." _

_Little Mac got a little shock when all the girls simultaneously covered their hands to their mouths and giggled wildly. They then sat around Little Mac and on Little Mac. (To which Little Mac was too drunk and stoned to care.)_

_One of them, the one in the green dress (Mac couldn't remember her name) offered him a drink. Mac took it and just drank. Whatever it was. _

_Ten minutes later, he was laughing with all the girls._

"_You know. You guys are really cute! How come you guys are so cute?!" _

_The Villagers' giggled and answered in a whirlwind of flirty comments. _

_Little Mac motioned for the girls to move in closer. "You guys are so cute. If you were a little bit older I'd marry you all!" _

_I'd marry you all._

_I'd marry you all._

* * *

"_I'd marry you all. Marry you all. Marry you al-"_

"Okay! Okay! Sheesh! I don't need you to make it an echo! God, did I really say those things?" Little Mac pulled his hoodie over his eyes and buried his face in his hands.

"I'm just as surprised as you. You can't even hand most of us girls a drink without looking down! But you decided to marry yourself off to four women! Unbelievable!" Wii Fit said.

Little Mac snapped his head in her direction and put a finger right to the hollow of her neck.

"This is your fault!" He spun around to Villager who was trying to casually get away.

"And your fault! I would have never said anything of the sort if I was in my right mind!"

Villager frantically waved his arms. He couldn't remember the last time Little Mac looked so mad. Last time he checked, as long as his height wasn't mentioned he was a pretty reasonable person.

"_I, I was just trying to loosen you up! I really was! At least I didn't give you weed!"_

"I don't know what you gave me! Whatever that drink was!"

"_It was only bubblegum flavored liquor! I swear I didn't add anything else!" _Villager's smile wobbled.

"It doesn't even matter anymore. I'm not marrying a bunch of kids."

"_They're 24..." _

"Wait, what?! How old are you then?!"

"_Twenty-two. I'm a mayor for pete's sake, Mac. I have to be grown."_

That was true. Even though a twenty-something-year-old mayor still sounded a bit outrageous. But that was the least of everybody's problems. Just then, one of the other Villagers walked up with Shizue.

"Mr. Mayor~~!" Shizue squeaked out in an vivacious tone. Wii Fit and Little Mac weren't even Furries and they thought she was absolutely adorable.

Author has to agree tenfold with that.

"_Hey Shizue. Hey Jimmy, what's the problem?" _Villager said taking on a more serious tone.

"It seems that the residents are all coming down with an illness. We've determined that it is highly contagious and mostly through touch. Before the symptoms started, everybody currently sick was in contact with someone else already feeling down." Shizue barked.

"_Jimmy, you couldn't handle this?" _Villager said with what Wii Fit would call a condescending tone.

Jimmy, a young man in a yellow sports shirt, only rolled his eyes. All while giving a giant smile.

"_Everyone has to be alerted about this highly contagious sickness. I want to hold a meeting with regard on how to combat this!" _

"_Is it really that bad?" _

"_None of our residents can even leave their beds. We may have to call in a doctor from out of town." _

Villager swore.

"_I hate them wimp-ass doctors who rather be pimps!" _

Wii Fit and Little Mac had no idea what Villager could have meant by that statement. If they had asked it would have led to a long story regarding a brothel, a hospital and a shoot-out. Best they didn't ask.

Villager turned to both of them. _"You guys should just go relax. This is my problem. Shizue, please escort them to their rooms." _

Shizue merrily trotted over to them. "Right this way, ladies and germs!" She giggled right after her little joke and motioned for them to follow her.

Before they left, Jimmy called out to them with these words: _"It's so nice knowing you'll be joining us soon, Mac!" _

Wii Fit watched Little Mac's head turn half way around his neck.

"What?" He said not completely calm.

"_It's really nice to know you'll be marrying our girls! We need a guy like you to carry some of the heavier stuff and reach things we ourselves can't! It's gonna be nice having you along, Aniki! Treat our women right!" _

Little Mac's complexion was nearly an identical match for Wii Fit's as Shizue ushered them along.

* * *

Wii Fit Trainer laid in her bed. It was plain, but comfy. The sheets were on sloppily, but it was clean. Shizue had provided both she and Little Mac with pajamas, which they took in appreciation. As soon as Wii Fit slipped the night shirt over her head a sense of uneasiness had come over her.

How come it fit perfectly?

To some this thought may not have knocked on their consciousness at all. And perhaps had Wii Fit put that shirt on anywhere else it wouldn't have touched upon her consciousness either. But in a land where people didn't even hit 4 feet. Having a shirt this big was odd.

Maybe they had sewn something up for them that fast. They had been in town for 36 hours now and the tailors had seen them. Maybe one of the numerous mayors sent out an order to have clothes sewn for them. But...But...

Still these measurements. Something still should have been off! Sewing for a body type you had never handled before without taking measurements should have led to some type of miscalculation! But no! It was impeccable, this fit! When she said goodnight to Little Mac she was surprised how his shirt somehow was wide enough in the shoulders to accommodate him. Even he said he had a hard time shopping for shirts he liked with his build.

Maybe she was worrying too much. But, there was also the fact that the town was empty. Not a peep from anyone! They were sick, she knew. But...But...

No one needed milk? No one wanted to see the foreigners? Not anyone?

She was probably worrying too much. Probably. Yeah that was it...

Then she heard a scream.

* * *

Little Mac was struggling with thought of becoming some accidental polygamist when his door creaked open.

Standing in the strip of light was a short girl with tan skin. The first thought to hit Little Mac wasn't the fact that somebody just opened the door. It was that he couldn't believe the Villagers still retained so much of a tan from their island stay months ago. Within two days they were all somehow perfectly baked a deep golden-y brown looking as if they belonged on some Caribbean island and not in the Smash house. They had grown nearly as dark as Ganondorf and even months later were as dark as himself.

Yeah, those are the thoughts he had as Ai entered his room holding what appeared to be an ax.

Yeah, he was having totally normal thoughts.

"Sorry I wasn't thinking about the impending threat on my life, Author." Mac huffed.

Yeah well, you should.

"I am—Whaaa!" Little Mac ducked as a shining ax went flying at his head.

With a heart pounding ***Clunk*,** it lodged itself into the wall.

_"Ah, you went and ducked. I was hoping you'd be more accepting." _Ai mumbled out.

Was this woman kidding?

"Are you kidding me?" Mac said once again adding redundancy to the story.

"I thought you liked me! Why are you trying to kill me?!"

Ai tilted her head. _"Hah. How funny. I've already fallen to pieces. I guess deep down, one part of me doesn't want you dead. Yet this other side calls out for it so fervently. My weaker side is losing. We're all losing." _

Okay...Little Mac grabbed a lamp off his nightstand and threw it at his attacker.

Without a sound Ai produced another ax from nowhere and sliced the lamp in half samurai style.

"_Tch. Try harder." _

Little Mac didn't want to knock her out. But if a good blow to the head would stop this...He had no qualms about hitting this lady.

But he didn't have to hit her. A pair of turnips slammed against her head.

"_Ai! What in the blazes has gotten into you?! You said you'd share him!" _Villager screamed.

Ai slowly got up rubbing her head. Saying not a word she swung her ax at Villager who blocked with his own.

"_Mac! I got this! Wake the others!" _

"I can't just leave you alone with her! She's crazy!" Mac said standing up.

"_Just do as I say! I can take Ai! She just needs some sense knocked into her noggin!" _

Now usually Mac would have fought a little harder to help his friends. That's what friends did. But honestly watching people back and forth argue on who gets to be the hero is annoying. So Mac just ran past him to wake the others.

Well he tried to do that. But as soon as he stepped foot outside his room, something hard hit him in the knee.

"The hell?!"' He cried out stumbling.

"_Can't the girl do one thing right? I wanted this to be over."_

"Jorge?! Why are you attacking me, too?!"

Jorge shrugged. _"You're not really that special. As we speak your other friend Wii Fit is being taken care of." _

Little Mac didn't know what to think. One second everything was all dandy (albeit weird) and now his own teammates were trying to kill him.

Well, as Doc Louis would tell him:

"_HIT 'EM BABY!"_

"OUT OF MY WAY!" Little Mac shouted punching Jorge into the wall.

"_Little bastard..." _Jorge groaned rubbing his shoulder. Which he'd later find out was dislocated.

"Let's stretch and exhale slowly~"

That could only be...

"Wii Fit?!" Mac screamed just as the pale figure shot out from a door.

"Mac! What are you doing?!"

"Trying not to die!"

"Ahh...As am I! This is so stressful! I want a hit..." Wii Fit lamented.

"You can do that later!" Little Mac grabbed her wrist and yanked her down a hallway.

"Yes I know...Hey Mac, when we get out of this, we can smoke it together!"

"No! I get drug tested regularly!"

"This way!" A small bark broke into the two individuals thoughts.

Shizue motioned from a narrow hallway that both Smash members had missed.

"Shizue, what's going on?" Wii Fit asked as they followed the small dog down the dark hallway.

Shizue's eyes glittered, filling with tears. "I don't know! They were acting fine during the meeting!

"Don't cry, Shizue-chan. Once we're safe we'll figure it out." Said Wii Fit reassuringly.

"The freaking Villagers are weird..." Was Mac's answer.

Wii Fit gave him a little elbow for that.

Shizue sighed as they came to a dark room.

"Here it is," Shizue said, searching her pockets for a small silver key.

"The mayors told me to only use this for emergencies. I'd say our town's leaders going loco is an emergency."

Shizue's hand hovered, the key at the lock.

"_YOU GUYS!" _Villager's voice rang out. He was running towards the group, blood on his ax. His hair disheveled.

"Mr. Mayor! You're alright!" Shizue squeaked.

"_Yeah, yeah . I don't know how long though. I forgot how hard George hit." _

"_MY NAME IS JORGE!" _he bellowed.

"_Oh shoot. Oh dang it. They're here..." Villager shook his head and readied his ax._

Shizue unlocked the dark door. "That won't be needed, Mr. Mayor," she suddenly said turning to the group. A sad smile rested on her face.

"I'll hold them off. You guys get away."

Villager shook his head. He was a mayor. He wouldn't let his citizen sacrifice herself.

"_No, I won't let you. We'll figure something out."_

Shizue shook her head, bells ringing. "It's not worth it. You guys are important. I'm not. You've explained everything to me, Mr. Mayor. I like helping people. So, please let me help you guys."

Shizue carefully removed an object from her pocket. It was small, glowing and blue.

"Is that a..." Little Mac leaned down to examine it along with Wii Fit. Villager only stared bitterly at it.

"I'm sure you wouldn't know. Ms. Wii Fit Trainer, Mr. Little Mac, as an Assist Trophy I was given my own little warping device. It's very small and doesn't have much power but, if someone needs you, if they call for you, it will take you to them. Please take it, Mr. Mayor. One day your team will call for you. My little trinket will take you there." She held it out to him.

Villager backed away. The other Villagers had found them and were slowly approaching with their weapons. Jorge looked especially vicious.

"Please take it Mr. Mayor, I can handle myself. I have fruit! And the bees are my friends!"

"_I don't want to. You're important to me Shizue. Even if you can barely do your job and spill coffee on me constantly, I like you!" _Villager said passionately.

Much too passionately for Little Mac, who snatched the item out of Shizue's hands. "Thank you! We're in your debt! Please be safe!"

He scooped up Villager like a football and stepped into the doorway.

"_MACCCCCC YOU MOTHERFU-" _Little Mac covered the struggling youth's mouth. He felt a pair of teeth sink into his boxing glove.

Wii Fit Trainer sent a ball of light at the Villagers to disperse them. It hardly did any damage and they directed slingshot ammo and fireworks at our heroes.

"Good luck, Shizue-chan!" Wii Fit shouted before pushing Little Mac and Villager through the door along with herself.

Shizue waved at them as they disappeared from her sight.

* * *

Three steps in they fell. Down a long balmy hole. Surprised were they all, except Villager, who understood where they were going. Drowning out his comrades' screams with his saddened thoughts, he stared at the small blue gem Shizue gave them.

She was a goner. He knew it. Would it make him weak if he cried?


	17. Gaiden Green: Part 2

**Author Note:**

**I feel like my schedule has gotten tighter. I already have next week's chapter half done so I should be able to keep this pace for a little bit. Considering how many fics I read that don't update for a long time or are dropped I really wanna keep some type of steady pattern to insure that doesn't happen. This fanfic only has a few follows but I thank those followers very much. It's nice knowing my work gets read. **

**(^・ω・^ )**

* * *

**G****aiden Green: Part 2.**

**A note about Toon Link:**

** Toon Link is a young skilled boy who could not get it together. Do not get me wrong in saying this, he has talent and is useful! However he tends toward laziness or is too unobservant to be of help most of the time. Mix that with the fact that he seems to have an unhealthy love of shiny objects and talks to himself randomly; his housemates choose not to trust him with anything important. But he still has a good heart! And he still saved the world! So like everyone else, he has his uses. Even if said uses usually cause more trouble than good.**

* * *

Two young boys sat on the porch of an old-fashioned house. The sun streamed through the leaves and the air was a perfect warm temperature.

The two boys were partaking in home-made cookies and bottles of milk. The fair-haired one of the pair poured a little milk on his cookie before biting it.

"You almost ready?" his friend asked him.

The blond popped the rest of the cookie in his mouth and stood up. "Yeah, I'm done. You sure this is going to work?"

"You don't trust me?"

"I do. But if you screw up. I'm going to cry."

His friend laughed. It edged on nervousness.

"Please tell me you're joking."

The blond boy shrugged. "Maybe."

* * *

Red strangled Toon Link in a wind stealing hug. Toon Link returned it halfheartedly, his lungs feeling like they would burst at any moment.

"GREEN! I MISSED YOU!" He squealed into the young Hylian's ear. Link and Zelda watched this exchange with a bit of sadistic interest. How long would Toon Link hold? Would his spine snap? Would his knees buckle from lack of oxygen?

It was cute. That was something else they had thought. Red smushed his cheek against Toon Link's and looked genuinely happy.

Blue on the other hand, did not. In one step and a swift hand movement he yanked Red off of the blue Hylian and slammed him on the ground.

"How disgusting! Don't you have any shame?! Hugging up on him like he's your mama!" Blue spat out.

Red let out a whiny "Owww" and looked up at him.

"You're so mean, Blue."

Toon Link rubbed his back and turned to his other selves.

Before speaking, he cleared his throat. "I don't want any fighting between you two. Especially you, Blue. Treat Red right."

Blue let out a low growl of disdain but did not protest. Red simply sniffed and looked over to the taller individuals in his presence. Walking (Zelda noticed pigeon-toed) towards them he examined the young princess for a long amount of time before saying:

"You're big Zelda, right? You're like Tetra, only bigger, right?"

Zelda nodded. "Yes, I am Princess Zelda of Hyrule. I understand that Tetra also shares my title. However please do not think of us as the same. We are two very different people with different upbringings and morals."

"Oh...Okay! You're really pretty big Zelda! I've never seen a woman as pretty as you!" Red smiled.

Zelda beamed modestly at the lad in red. So sweet and youthful looking, he reminded her of a child without malice. If her observations were correct, he was the innocent side of Toon Link.

Blue growled, stomped over towards Red and hit him upside the head. "Bastard! Acting cute like that! You think it'll get you somewhere, huh?!"

Red looked up at him with dewy eyes. "You can be cute too if you try, Blue."

Blue answered by grabbing Red and holding him in a headlock.

Based on this...Zelda decided Blue was the short-tempered one.

Still grinding on Red's head, he trained his glare at Link who responded with a weary smile.

"You think you're better than us, huh? Being all handsome and tall! Well buddy guess what?! I'm going to be just as tall, and just as handsome!" Blue puffed out his chest.

"But our race of people don't grow taller than five feeeeeeeeeEEEEHHHH!" Red's rebuttal turned into a girly shriek as Blue took his arm and pulled it backwards at a painful angle.

"You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Princess?" Blue spat out. Red answered with a little whimper.

Toon Link seeing this finally decided he had enough and split them apart.

"Alright, that's enough. No fighting you two." He gave Blue a warning look. I'm mostly talking to you, Blue."

Blue shrugged as Red said: "I don't know why he wants to fight all of the time. We're one and the same and because of that, I love Blue." His love was then shown as he threw himself on the unsuspecting boy clad in blue.

"Shit! No not again!" Toon Link shouted ripping them apart as Blue gagged loudly.

"No hugging either! I don't need a repeat of last time! Now shut up until I say! The both of youse!"

Ultimately acquiring their silence, Toon Link turned to Link and Zelda. "Let me properly introduce myself. Or should I say, Selves~" Toon Link smirked at his own joke and made a flourishing hand motion towards his different personalities.

"This is Blue, my short-tempered hot headed self. And this is Red, my sweeter child-like side."

Both Blue and Red bowed slightly. Link was relieved they would be easy to tell apart. While he didn't worry that they would somehow lose their clothes, he was glad that they had other physical features that set them apart.

Red was on the shorter side. His cheeks displaying a pudgy roundness found most commonly in youth. His eyes were more rounded at the edge than both Toon Link or Blue's. But his posture gave away the most of his inner self. His toes pointed towards each other as if conversing and his hands perfectly folded in front of him when at rest.

Blue on the other hand kept his fist balled up most of the time. His height would have been the same as Toon Link if he was not hunched over in a permanent battle stance. His irises held an unmistakable blue-tinge and his mouth seemed to go up and down at the corners, the rest of the lip a straight line.

_I guess even the same person has different looks._ Link thought.

"I think it is time we discuss our next steps before taking action," Zelda said trying to get everything in order again.

"Right!" Toon Link exclaimed turning towards the other Links.

"It's about Vio." Toon Link started.

Blue rolled his eyes. "Of course it's about Vio! That guy's been missing for months!"

Toon Link's jaw dropped at this revelation. "MONTHS? That isn't possible!"

"Sure it is."Blue said coolly. "Haven't you noticed any personality shifts within yourself. Or are you that dense."

"Well, Vio has the smarts. With Vio gone, perhaps Green has gotten dumber." Red said.

Toon Link glared at him for that one.

"Ohh, is that why you've been having such a hard time with math lately, Toon Link?" Link said with hints of pity in his voice.

"Maybe that is the reason he decided to pick a fight with King Koopa." Zelda agreed.

"That was really stupid of you, Toon Link." Link said.

Zelda nodded. "You were nursing those burns for weeks."

Toon Link stomped his foot. "Okay okay! I understand! I've been a lot dumber of late." Toon Link sighed. "I blame Vio...And you two: Red and Blue."

Blue snorted while Red pulled guiltily at his tunic.

"You two could have alerted me when you felt his presence leave!"

"You need to be in tune with your own body, _bro_. We can't tell you when you're missing something." Blue said.

Red piped up as well. "That's right. I'm always in tune with my body."

Blue snickered. "That's right. It's especially important for women. Right Red. Tell us, when _is_ your period coming again?"

Red fumed and threw a lame punch at Blue. "You're such a jerk! You have no respect!" Red said in a horrified tone.

"I'm only trying to be cautious of your needs. I'm sure Green would be happy to buy you some tampons or pads, or chocolate...Or whatever you you women need for that time of the month."

The author would just like to state that she, as a woman, wants chocolate all the month.

Toon Link hissed under his breath. "Blue! Don't be so disrespectful! We have a lady in our midst!"

At that, Blue turned towards the Princess of Hyrule. "Did I offend you, M'lady. If so, I deeply apologize." He performed a courteous bow.

"Apology accepted," Zelda replied stone faced. Whether she was offended or not was lost upon the boys due to her stoic expression.

Link rubbed gloved hands together. "Since you brought forth your other selves, how will they help us?"

Toon Link sighed. "The only way I can combat Vio is if I have the help of these two. "Vio and I are evenly matched in skill and power."

"But not in smarts!" Blue interjected.

Toon Link stomped on his foot before continuing. A tirade of swear words quietly bubbled from Blue's mouth.

"Anyway, as I was saying. Vio can easily hold me off, but if I have these two he'll have no choice but to surrender and become one with me again."

"And that means me and Red are gonna have to become one with you. Ach! I guess I better enjoy this freedom while I can," Blue grumbled despondently.

"I'm happy as long as I'm together with Blue!" Red exclaimed.

That exclamation earned him a wallop in the gut.

"Little bitch. Haha, you even whimper like a little bitch." Blue sneered. "I didn't even hit you that hard."

Toon Link grabbed Blue firmly on the shoulders. "I told you, no more hitting."

Red sniffed. "Yeah! You heard Green! If we're ever to combat Vio we'll need to work together. Green needs our help! He knows when he's lost! Not only is Vio smarter and more talented than him, he's also better looking and commands a large majority of the fan girls."

Toon Link shared a look with Blue.

"Okay so hold him down, and I'll punch."

"You got it, Green."

Red let out a shrill holler as Toon Link aimed for his lower gut.

"We do not have time for this! We must assemble ourselves and get back to the others. Our journey will already be long and arduous. So we should get a head start!" Zelda said in annoyance.

Before the boys could offer half-hearted apologies, a rustling rang through the woods. The group became tense, listening anxiously.

A low rumble sounded throughout the forest. An eerie moan gurgled along with it.

"We've left ourselves open too long." Link said drawing his sword.

"It may be nothing..." Toon Link said doubtfully.

"You really _have_ gotten stupider," Blue hissed as Red grabbed tightly onto his arm.

The moan grew into a earsplitting pitch causing every single party member to fall to their knees, hands pressed desperately against their ears.

Now, while this is common knowledge amongst Hylians and their neighbors, some people still do not know. Hylians were known for their long ears, being their most prominent features. These ears were extremely sensitive. Along with hearing goddesses' voices, they also hear everything else very well. Extremely well. Exponentially well.

"GET ON WITH IT AUTHOR!" Link wailed, trying to stop that dreaded noise from entering his brain.

Fine! Anyway they have hearing like dogs. Meaning loud high-pitched noises, they no likie.

With a soft cry, Toon Link lost the rest of his will and slumped against the ground unconscious. Blue and Red, followed suit.

"Dammit!" Link exclaimed for nobody but himself to hear.

He felt a hand against his own. Looking up he saw Zelda, her smile infused with pain. She said something but Link couldn't hear it. He then slumped to the ground.

* * *

There was pain. In his arms, in his legs, a burning sensation encircled his wrists. In the back of his head was a dull throbbing ache. His first rational thought was that he had gone blind. No matter how wide he opened his eyes, there was nothing but blackness. After gathering his thoughts further, he simply realized that he was blindfolded.

Great.

He was blindfolded and obviously hung up by his wrist and ankles. Life sucked.

He heard Zelda groan near him.

Yeah, life really sucked.

"Zelda?" Link whispered hoarsely. She grumbled or maybe not grumble, Link wanted to find a prettier word to describe the groggy sound Zelda made.

"Are you also blindfolded?"

"Yes...It appears I am."

"Where are we?"

Zelda shook her head and bit her bottom lip. "Held captive obviously. Where? I've little idea."

"Hah...Well, I know you're used to this, but I'm at a loss. A few pointers for a noob?" Link joked, trying to diffuse the situation. Zelda simply let out an annoyed, haughty sigh.

"Do you find our humiliating and helpless situation funny, Link?"

Link must have really pissed her off.

It wasn't his fault though! She was constantly getting kidnapped! I mean the woman should at least expect it by now, right? I mean that time she dressed like a boy was really cool, but she still got kidnapped in the end. And what did Link get when he saved her? A small smile and thank you! It took them living in the Smash household for her to finally become his girl.

His girl...His girl...He got kidnapped along with his girl. Maybe she would save him and this could become a progressive girl saves the boy story! And she'll save him in heels! Wait, does Zelda wear heels?

"Hey, Zelda. Do you wear heels?"

"Link, you seriously want to talk about my fashion choices?"

"Sorry." Link mumbled quietly as the door to the room opened.

Both Hylians stiffened with the change of air. The sharp clicking of boots filled their ears. The person seemed to be pacing. Analyzing them.

"Who are you?!" Link barked out rudely. He didn't have time for these games. Whomever was holding them captive better make themselves known.

Because yeah, as the prisoner Link called the shots.

A slurping sound was heard. It sounded as if a lion had just come across prey with a delicious underbelly.

It was a sound Link knew well. And he groaned as proof.

"Noooooooooooooooooo..."

"I'm glad you recognize my voice, Link."

"More like your tongue, Ghirahim!

"Yes, I'm very happy about that too."

Zelda squirmed in his handcuffs. "Ahh, Ghirahim. So nice to see you."

"I don't think you can see with a blindfold on, dahling."

Yeah. It's got blind in the word.

Link had to get Zelda and himself out of this situation! Hopefully Ghirahim would remember the good times they spent when he became an Assist Trophy. He would remember how forgiving he and Zelda were. He would let them go free.

"Ghirahim, you have to let us free. Working for Tabuu isn't like you! You're a strong independent demon!"

"And as a strong independent demon I have chosen my path. My path with a wonderful dental plan and vacation time."

"We'll get you more vacation time if you side with us again!" Zelda exclaimed.

"I don't care so much about that anymore." Ghirahim said quietly. This surprised the Hylians.

"What I care about," Ghirahim continued, "Is the amount of respect I get."

"I respect you," Link said timidly.

Ghirahim smiled at this. He lifted his hand and Link felt a soft caress upon his cheek. He involuntarily shivered. Respect or not, that felt creepy as hell.

"Listen, boy. I'm talking about as a whole from that household. How many of your members even think of the little guys now? Once you get in as a fighter you all think you're some types of hotshots. But fame only last so long. And all that glitters is not gold."

"Wha?" Link mumbled out confused. Zelda piped up.

"That is completely unrealistic! To say we forget about our friends and civilians is preposterous! We do our best to make sure they live good lives."

Zelda felt icy hands grip her throat and softly gasped as her windpipe narrowed.

"Do you princess, do you? When was the last time you visited your country? When was the last time you spoke to your people?"

Zelda thought back to this. Last time she had been to her castle was a few months back for a large festival. She had only spoken to her father and a few old friends when she got there. But other than that...

Zelda said nothing, her mouth a stern royal line of stubbornness. She would not satisfy Ghirahim with an answer.

Ghirahim dug his fingernails into the Princess's flesh before removing his hands, leaving painful carmine dots as a reminder.

Link gritted his teeth, he could hear Ghirahim pacing the room again, studying them, letting them broil. Every once in awhile he would pinch their exposed skin and test how taut their muscles were drawn poking here and there. After ten minutes of this, he finally spoke.

"I bet you wonder where Toon Link is?" This hit Link and Zelda's nerves. Oh fudge, they had forgotten about him.

Neither Zelda or Link said anything. They didn't have to, for Ghirahim spoke: "Vio's got him."

* * *

"Blue, my head hurts."

"Shut up, no one cares."

"But, Blue..."

"Shut up! Geez I wish I could have been locked up with Green instead of your pussy-ass!"

And Red did just that. He shut up. Leaving only the sound of his sniffling.

* * *

He spun out of the way, raising his left foot to kick under his opponents. His foe caught the moment, hopping to dodge, raising his sword to block the oncoming swing. He smirked before twisting his sword. Toon Link grimaced and held on tighter to his sword, trying to avoid Vio's plan to disarm him. The action caused his posture to falter and become unsteady. Leaving Vio with an opening.

With a strong kick to the ankle, Vio hear an unearthly snap and Toon Link's wail as he hit the ground. Toon Link's sword fell to the stone ground with an echoing clink.

"Dammit, I..." Toon Link hunched over holding his ankle in intense pain. He felt Vio's sword at his neck. The frigid steel reminded him that he lost. That his life could be taken at any moment.

"You lose, Green." Vio said with a smirk.

Toon Link looked up at him, tears in his eyes, teeth gritted. "Are you happy? You feel like you got the biggest sword now?"

Vio answered Toon Link with a swift kick to the stomach. Toon Link coughed out the majority of his body's oxygen, spittle flying.

Toon Link let out a coughing hack and redoubled over. Vio twirled his sword in his hand. Watching his original self bent over with little defense was kind of sad, but, satisfying.

Deliciously satisfying.

Vio let out a low whistle and gripped Toon Link by the jaw. "Nee, Green, I like have something to tell you." He forced Toon Link to look into his eyes.

"What?" Toon Link wheezed. "You're gonna kill me? Who says you won't die along with me?"

Vio cocked his head. "You're right. I don't know. Or, maybe I like, do. But no, it's not that. Why would I kill you? Your humiliation has only just begun."

Toon Link flared up. "What the hell is wrong with you! What do you mean, 'Just begun'? Bullshit! You think talking like some stereotypical villain makes you cool?! Hell naw! Disco is cooler than you! You're just some small pathetic-" Toon Link sentenced ended when Vio's fist collided with his teeth.

Vio gripped Toon Link's jaw tighter and slammed his head back against the ground. "Dummy." He muttered resheathing his sword.

Toon Link swallowed. He tasted a mixture of blood and saliva. Something else harder and solid went down his throat. Toon Link wished he could say it was just a popcorn kernel. The thought of looking like some hockey player horrified him.

Vio picked up Toon Link's Four Sword and examined it. He said nothing just throwing it to his side.

"I gotta like go, Toon Link. I shall tell Ghirahim to like, let your friends go so you can get along with your journey." He smiled smugly at the end of his sentence.

Toon Link groaned and looked up at the stone building. He wondered if all the rubble on the ground was the ceiling. The roof of the building had massive holes where immense damage had been sustained. Where in the world were they? On either side Toon Link recognized shabby windows carved from the building and decorated with what looked to be flowers and weeds. Looked like Mother Nature's children were having fun. Oh if someone could only save him, flying from that window dressed in heroic blue!

Heroes wanna be saved too.

"Why?" Toon Link finally blubbered out coming back to his senses.

"I just told you like, why."

"Why not take us prisoner instead of killing us?"

"We already have one of your friends. Dark Link seems to like, like him."

Toon Link wondered who it could be. He never had the chance to ask. For Vio left him, just lying on the ground. The hero of winds, flat on the ground.

Or he tried. Because an arrow planted itself in his arm before he could.

"Ow! Like, what the hell?!"

"How dare you hurt my brother like that!" A young girl's voice screeched out. A voice that made the hero of winds, raise his head.

Bathed in light, against the stone window stood a girl. A blue sundress fluttered across her legs. A bow pulled back, arrowhead gleaming.

Vio smirked as he recognized her.

"Like, hi Aryll. You come to save your brother?"

"No..." She said her tone wobbling. "But don't worry, they did."

Toon Link looked up in gratitude at the group slowly surrounding Aryll. As he looked at the girl in front, their captain, smiling smugly, Toon Link could only say one thing...

"Permission to be saved, Captain?"

"Permission granted!"


	18. Gaiden Blue: Part 2

**Chapter 17: Gaiden Blue: Part 2**

**A note about Rockman: Rock J. Right known mostly by his hero name, Rockman was a polite young man. Built by his father to be similar to a real boy, Rockman possesses all such traits and of late has become a handful for his father. His sweet heart always mollifies his father, causing Dr. Right to spoil him. Although technically a pacifist, Rockman tends to enact violence towards those who wear his patience thin. Only a few such people have ever done that. It is best you never become one. **

* * *

"This is good. A nice open field," a young dark haired boy said. He adjusted his hat while his friend looked around.

"I guess."

"Something the matter, buddy?"

"I just feel like something bad is gonna happen."

"You're worrying over nothing."

* * *

"That was absolute bull..." Shulk grumbled walking throughout the Right household. He didn't understand why Rockman had gotten so angry over a few jokes. Shulk liked to tease. What was so wrong about that?

Well, whatever. That little punk better be heading out with them. No matter how much he liked his stupid hometown the world mattered more.

Rubbing fresh bruises and scratches, he stopped at a door labeled "Rock's Room". The door was slightly ajar with a warm light coming from it.

"Looks like someone left the lights on..." Now normally Shulk would just open up the room and turn the light off, but he could hear distinct female humming coming from the room. Meaning the person in his room wasn't Rockman...

MEANING! Shulk was feeling nosy. Tiptoeing to the door, Shulk leaned forward to have a peek. Roll was alone inside the room.

She seemed to be fixing things here and there and tidying up. Shulk was surprised to see how much junk had been laying around in Rockman's room. He guessed that instead of really cleaning his room prior to their entrance, he had stuffed everything under his bed and threw knick-knacks atop his drawers and stuff.

Roll bent down and reached under his bed, grabbing a handful of shirts and pants.

Yeah, Shulk was right. That midget had shoved everything under his bed.

Shulk rolled his eyes. No wonder the pipsqueak was so insistent on staying here. He pretty much had his own maid! His own maid that he not only didn't have to pay, but loved him unconditionally.

Aww, the love between siblings. Sometimes Shulk yearned for that, being an only child. To be called a big brother; to pick his little sister up from school; to help her with her homework and to tell her to stop sniffing his clothes.

Sniffing his clothes?

"Okay..." Shulk whispered as he watched Roll bury her face into one of Rockman's green sweatshirts.

_She appears to be sniffing it._ Shulk thought like a genius.

Naw homie, she is sniffing it.

"Alright. I thought so."

That meant Shulk was seeing something very creepy. Something very creepy he could use to blackmail Rockman.

"Haha! That little shit will _have_ to go with us after I hang this over his head," Shulk happily whispered to himself.

Now Shulk decided right at that moment he _would _go forth and blackmail Rockman. But he never got the chance. Just as he was making his escape, his foot caught on a piece of uplifted carpet and he ended up falling forward swinging the bedroom door wide open.

Roll jumped as the door slammed against the wall leaving a small crater in the room. Rockman would only later find out about it after this whole adventure ended.

Shulk tumbled in and landed on his butt right in front of the female robot.

"Oh, hi there!" she greeted cheerfully, only somewhat shocked at Shulk's entrance.

Shulk breathed in sharply avoiding eye contact with her. His gaze drifted to the sweatshirt she had been sniffing only a second ago.

Since Shulk was smart, he wasn't about to make some comment about how he caught her pervy act. No! The fact that she was acting so normal only convinced him more that she was the type of person who could slide from under such accusations. Yes...he too would act normal.

"H-hello, Roll," he politely said.

"Was there something you needed? Dinner will be ready momentarily."

Shulk scratched the back of his neck. She was smiling and looking at him with huge innocent blue eyes. He almost wanted to believe she wasn't some weirdo.

"No, I'm good."

"Okay then!" Roll said before burying her face back onto Rockman's shirt and getting a good whiff.

All of Shulk's tact went out the window.

"Jeez, are you that much of a brocon you sniff your brother's shirt _in front of anybody_?!" Shulk chastised, disgust peppering his tone.

Roll raised an eyebrow before answering. "What are you talking about? How am I supposed to figure out if the shirt is clean or not if I don't smell it?!"

…...

Wait, what?

"You mean...You're smelling his shirt to see if it's clean?" Shulk asked slowly.

Roll sighed. "Of course. Why else would I? I wish Rock would make it easier on me and just put his clothes in the hamper! He's so lazy sometimes, you have no idea!"

So that was it. Shulk relaxed but felt kinda sad he no longer had blackmail material on Rockman.

Speaking of Rockman, said boy entered the room very quietly. Only alerting Roll of his presence before speaking aloud.

"Roll, what are you doing in here?" Shulk jumped at his voice and turned to see a miffed Rockman standing in the doorway. He shot Shulk a look of disdain before redirecting his attention to Roll.

"I'm doing your laundry. That's what."

"Were you sniffing my clothes again?"

"How else am I suppose to figure out what's clean or dirty?"

"I don't know, _look_!"

"That doesn't help anything! Why don't you just put your clothes in a hamper like me and dad!"

Shulk saw Rock grit his teeth slightly. Roll's face was that of righteousness. It seemed to infuriate Rockman to no end.

"Whatever. Do what you like."

"I will. Because I'm the only one who works around here."

"Dad works!"

"If you call staying in his lab all day working, fine. He does!"

Shulk felt a bit like an invader in their private lives listening to this argument. But it was soooooo fun! He would store all these little details about him for later so he could have something to torture him with.

"Let's go, Shulk," Rockman said grabbing Shulk by the back of his collar. Shulk made outrageous choking noises to annoy Rockman as he was dragged out.

Before they could leave, however, Shulk was given a golden moment.

"Hey, Rock, what's a brocon?"

Rockman visibly gulped. His eyes darted first to his little sister, then to Shulk in a furious glance. He had to swallow before he could replace his expression with something calmer.

"Hell if I know. Who said the word?"

"Shaq."

Did that woman just call his hot genius-self Shaq?

"Okay, okay, I figured as much." Rockman closed the door with that.

Shulk pushed Rockman away from him standing up and readjusting his shirt. He gave him a winning smile.

"Your sister's a brooooooocoooonnn~"

Rockman slapped Shulk's arm.

"She-she is not! She's just a little more loving than most sisters!" Rockman spluttered out.

Shulk rubbed his chin, Rockman's expression was priceless. Considering the suffering he had sustained at his hands he assumed he deserved all that he was dishing.

"Now that I think of it, Samus-Nee and her share a few similarities~"

"Shulk. No."

"Like, those ponytails, or the way their butts wiggle when they walk~"

Rockman shot a beam of energy at Shulk who dodged it easily.

"Don't! Don't talk about my sister's butt!"

"Her wiggling butt." Shulk corrected.

"Fuck you, Shulk."

"You want Samus to fuck you."

The next moment would have exploded into an epic battle of violence and flashiness as Rockman positioned himself into a battle stance and Shulk readied his Monado.

"Waku Waku! _(What are you two doing?)_" Pac-Man asked rounding the corner looking shiny and new from his bath. His bathing boots replaced with his usual red.

"Shulk's disrespecting me and the ones I love again!" Rockman spat out vehemently.

Pac-Man shot Shulk a look reserved for parents with naughty children.

"Hey, why are you on his side? I didn't even get my say yet!"

"Waku waku waku. _(Because you're always saying something.)_"

"Am I not allowed to talk? Am I not allowed the freedom to say what's on my mind and not be punished?" Shulk placed a hand on his chest in an innocent manner.

"Waku Waku._ (America this place ain't)_" was Pac-Man's answer.

"Fine," Shulk said deflated.

"Are you guys going to chat in that hallway forever or are you going to come eat?" Samus said popping out from nowhere. She held a muffin in her hand which she nibbled at waiting for the men to answer.

"We'll be there in a second, Samus-nee," Rockman said quietly.

"Your food will get cold if you all wait too long."

"We know, Samus-nee," Shulk snickered out.

Samus raised an eyebrow at him. "Samus...Nee?"

Shulk gave her the completely innocent look of a baby deer. "Can I not call you that, too?"

Pac-Man noticed Rockman's hands shift from battle mode to standby several times before Samus answered.

"I'm a big sister to you now? Was it all those ass whoopings?" Samus asked.

Shulk flinched at her language remembering the stinging pain. Oh, that stinging pain. He did not want to think about that time...

"I guess you could say that...You are like the oldest one of us here."

"Oh, so now I'm old."

"Ach! No! Not like that!" Shulk shook his head fervently.

To his surprise Samus just laughed. "I'm just kidding Shulk. Yeesh, who do you think I am, Koopa?"

"Waku waku waku. Waku. _(That man is old as hell and he knows it. Thirty my ass...)_" Pac-Man murmured.

Samus smirked before walking over to Shulk and putting him in a headlock.

Oh that dreaded headlock. She leaned in closer to whisper in his ear. If it wasn't for the waves of fear writhing in his stomach he might have savored Rockman's jealous look.

"It's fine. I'll let you call me that. But don't think I'll acknowledge you as my little brother." She freed Shulk from her grip.

He gasped for sweet air. He was safe. Samus had spared him! But he wondered for how long.

* * *

Dinner was amazing! Pac-Man was back to his old ways holding out his bowl for thirds, which Roll promptly obliged.

"Rocky told me you were a great cook. But this is better than I expected," Samus exclaimed cleaning her plate quickly of its contents.

Roll smiled sweetly and wordlessly passed water to her half-choking father.

"It's a bit embarrassing to hear Rock talk about me so well."

"It's only natural right? You're siblings." Samus said taking her fork and stabbing a potato on Shulk's plate.

"Hey! That's my potato!" Shulk lamented watching her pop it into her mouth.

"Don't wanna share with big sis?" She said mockingly.

"Eat off of Rockman's plate!" Shulk huffed.

"Fine." Samus grabbed Rockman's fork out of his hands and devoured the food on it.

Pac-Man thought Rockman might have a heart attack after Samus handed him the fork back. He also noticed he dared not bring it to his lips again, effectively stopping his eating.

Dr. Right cleared his throat, silencing the table. He motioned towards our heroes, particularly his son.

"So, I assume you'll be trying to fix this problem the worlds have on their hands, right?"

"Waku Waku! _(Of course! We be heroes!)_"

Dr. Right nodded and looked at his only son.

"Then, I guess we'll have to say goodbye again, Rock."

Rockman looked sadly at his father before saying: "It isn't that bad, Pops, I'll be home for Christmas."

"If you live that long!" Roll suddenly said in a sharp tone.

Rockman glared at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you can barely take care of yourself, _Rocky_."

Rockman stood up from the table soundlessly. "Say that again, Roll."

Roll stood up and flipped her ponytail. "You heard me, Rock."

Samus and everybody else at the table was surprised at the next occurrence. Rockman leaped across the table taking Roll down along with her chair.

Hair pulling, kicks, and screeches filled the air. Rock and Roll hurled childish insults and kicks in a heated argument.

Pac-Man made out a few of the insults on both siblings end. Like: "You're such a jerk" and "You can't even clean your own room!" and "You're not my mom!"

Samus observed Dr. Right get up calmly and ask Shulk for his glass of water. Shulk's eyes didn't move a second from the skirmish as he handed him his glass of water.

"Rock, Roll?" Dr. Right said steadily.

Neither bot answered, trying hard to get into a position of power. Dr. Right poured the contents of Shulk's cup on the siblings.

"Ach!" Rockman immediately rolled off of Roll and shook his head like a wet dog.

"Dad!" Roll yelled smoothing down her hair and glaring at her father.

"Rock J. Right! You do not attack your sister like that! Especially in company!" Dr. Right chastised.

Rock looked down in shame while Roll giggled.

"Do not giggle at me scolding your brother!"

"Sorry, dad..."

Samus let out a low whistle. "Isn't it a bit unfair to hit your sister, Rocky?"

"Yes." Rockman said so quickly that it shocked Roll. "It is and I apologize for my behavior."

Dr. Right was impressed at his son's maturity, if only he really knew where it came from.

"What do you mean by that?"

Nothing Dr. Right. Just, open your eyes.

"Open my eyes to what?"

"Dad," Rockman said, "Who are you talking to?"

"That voice."

"Dad, are you hearing voices?" Roll asked a string of worry lacing her voice.

You guys really shouldn't worry about your father's mental health right now. You should worry about your survival.

"What do you mean, author?" Shulk asked.

"Waku waku! _(Is shit about to hit the fan?)_"

Yeah. 'Bout to hit that fan.

The Right's rooftop got ripped like a box top.

"Oh, shit..." Samus mumbled looking at the giant robot glaring them down. That giant robot and his incoming fist...

"Run!" Shulk screamed like a genius activating speed with his Monado.

Nobody asked twice.

"Ah come on!" Roll yelled running out the door, "We just refurbished the dining room!"

A loud vibrating crash caused our heroes to fly out of the room and into the Rights' living room.

"I WILL BREAK YOU." The robot boomed.

Shulk broke out laughing. "This robot sounds like a cavemannnaahhhh!" Shulk's voice evolved into a scream as Samus threw him over her shoulder and pushed open the front door.

"Come on, we're running you idiot!"

Shulk let out a raspberry. "He's not gonna punch again, he's waiting for Rockman to walk out the front door."

"What?" Rockman stopped with one foot outside.

Shulk shrugged. "He wants to challenge you, so he'll wait for you to walk out the door before attacking again."

"How do you know that?!"

"I see the future, 'member?"

"Oh yeah."

Roll shoved Rockman out of the door and stepped outside. She pointed at the large figure looming over them.

"Show yourself, Dr. Wily!"

The robot dropped the roof back on the house with a loud crash and looked towards our heroes.

Dr. Right groaned as a cackle burst through the air.

"IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU GUYS AGAIN," The robot boomed.

"LOL, is this guy serious?" Shulk laughed.

Samus gave him a little slap. "Shush, Shulk."

Rockman brushed the dirt off his knees and pointed at the large robot.

"Okay, what you got, Wily? Who'd you reprogram this time? Oh boy, I hope you reprogrammed Dubstep Man. I always hated that guy."

"Dubstep Man is great at parties..." Roll murmured. Dr. Right nodded.

"NO. IT'S SOME OF YOUR OLD FRIENDS." Dr. Wily bellowed dropping numerous spherical metal objects from its body.

Each object slowly unfolded itself into a standing person. Or more accurately robots. Rockman let out a sigh as he recognized each one of them.

"DLN. Numbers 003 to 008, how'd you guys let this happen again? Especially you, Elec Man!"

Elec Man adjusted his mask and made a gun with his fingers. "Hey...Rocky!" He shot his finger gun, turned to Roll and shot her a wink.

"Hey, Roll~ looking good~"

"Don't hit on my sister!"

"Yeah! Don't hit on me!"

"Oh come on! You're like the only girl around! What am I supposed to do?!"

The other robots mumbled in agreement while Roll squirmed uncomfortably.

"I don't understand why you and Dr. Wily never made more female robots! Splash Woman isn't good enough!" Ice Man moaned to Dr. Right who sheepishly looked at him.

"Can't you look at any of us as more than friends, Roll?" Bomb Man pleaded.

Roll moved closer to Rock and gripped his arm tightly. "Make them go away, Rock."

Rockman patted her hair and softly smiled at her. "Don't worry, Roll. I'll protect you."

At that moment, Rockman felt a wave of malice and envy roll off of his opponents.

"Lucky bastard."

"He doesn't even seem to know."

"I'm so jealous, I wanna kill him."

Those were a few of the things Rockman heard he looked confusedly at his friends.

Samus cracked her knuckles and stepped in front of Rockman. "I guess we should get this over with to avoid casualties." Samus dropped Shulk on the ground.

Pac-Man placed a hand on Dr. Right's shoulder and gave him a thumbs up. "Waku waku waku. Waku. _(We'll take care of this. You and Roll get to safety.)_"

Dr. Right nodded and grabbed his daughter by the hand leading her away to safety.

Shulk, Samus, and Pac-Man began to ready themselves for battle when Rockman made a dismissive hand gesture at them. "It's okay guys, I can handle this by myself."

"Are you crazy, there's like six of them! You can't take them all!" Shulk exclaimed.

"I've beaten them before, I can do it again. I don't want any of you guys to fight if you don't have to."

"Alright, Rocky. We'll let you handle this, but if you even begin to falter we're coming in."

Shulk turned towards Samus angrily. "You're just agreeing with him? We can get this done faster and safer if we take them down together!"

Samus shrugged. "Eh, if I don't have to fight, I won't. If he says he can handle it, I'll believe him. Besides, he knows the consequences if he loses."

"What are the consequences?"

Samus gave Shulk a smile that reminded him of a mischievous elf. "Asking you for help."

At that moment, Shulk really wanted Rockman to fail.

Rockman purposefully stepped forward to face the Robot Masters.

"You're insulting us, Rockman," Guts Man said gruffly.

"Yeah, you faced us all alone, never together." Ice Man continued.

Rockman let out a small laugh. "I highly doubt this will be any different. You're not a team, just a bunch of muscle stuck together with no brain. You'll probably wipe each other out before I can even get serious."

That riled up the Robot Masters, they started pulling out their dangerous weapons and pumping themselves up.

A thought popped into Shulk's head, he had to ask.

"Rockman!"

Rockman turned to look at Shulk. "What?"

"What's the J stand for?"

"J?"

"Your middle name!"

"Oh, that? Seriously?"

Shulk nodded. "If it stands for Jadeveon I'll never let you live it down."

"You really wanna know?"

"Yes."

"Joe."

"Joe?"

"...Joe mama."

"Be serious!"

Rockman snickered. "Fine. John. It's John."

Shulk was a bit disappointed. "John's such a boring name."

It's classic, Shulk.

"Classically boring. And it sounds homo as hell."

"What?!"

"Rock John Right. Sounds gay."

Rockman only looked at him quietly before saying:

"Why don't you ask Pac-Man his middle name. I don't have time for this," Rockman said before transforming.

"Transforming?!" Shulk exclaimed.

Yeah, straight up like a magical girl. Sparkles and all. Nobody's going to touch him while he's doing so anyway.

"Samus, can you transform?"

Samus nodded. "Yep. Mine is less flashy though."

"Pac-Man, what's your middle name?"

Pac-Man gave him a very serious look. "Waku Waku Waku" (_If I tell you, I'll have to kill you_).

Shulk clamped his mouth shut.

"Evil hearts clouded by malice, hear my words! Cleanse your hearts, repent your actions, or be smited by my blue fist of justice! For. I am. Rockman!" Rockman finished striking a pose, bishie sparkles included.

So the fight began...Sorta. First and foremost, Ice Man was quickly knocked out by Elec Man's thunder beam hitting him square in his back as the first attack.

So after Ice Man got laid out, the battle began.

Samus removed her cell phone from her pocket and started fiddling with it. "If we could get some reception maybe we could talk to our other teammates," she grumbled to herself in annoyance lifting the cellphone higher and higher in the air.

Rockman dodged one of Cut Man's blades before turning around and kicking Guts Man in the stomach. Guts Man stumbled backwards in a moment of pain. Discarding all thoughts he rushed at Rockman who only had a second to react by grabbing his fist and bringing the punch to a stop. Fire Man took this opportunity time to slash Rockman in the back with a flame.

Shulk grabbed at Samus' shirt and yanked at it.

"What, Shulk?" Samus said not looking at him.

"Rockman is starting to get beat bad."

"Has he asked for help?"

"No."

"Then leave him be. If he was so weak that he could lose that easily, he deserves a beating."

Shulk wasn't very shocked at Samus' words, but wasn't Rockman important to her?

"By the way Shulk, you said there were six robots..." Samus said in a strange tone.

Shulk nodded. "Yeah, six."

"Then why is one scaling the Right building...Ah shit!" Samus pocketed her phone and and took out her gun.

"What?!" Shulk said sharply. "What is it?!"

"Bomb Man. I feel like an idiot not noticing sooner. Pac-Man, can you trampoline me up there?"

Pac-Man looked up and gauged the distance. "Waku Waku. Waku waku. _(I can get you halfway there. For the rest, your rocket boots will have to do.)_"

"Roger." Samus said as Pac-Man made a trampoline.

"What do I do?" Shulk interjected.

"Do something important!" Samus yelled at him in a "Duh" tone. She hopped on the trampoline to catch the climbing Bomb Man.

"Ah come on!" Shulk said like a spoiled child. He saw the future and had mad reach in battles...

He saw the future too. The...Future...

"Waku Waku? _(Shulk?)_" Pac-Man asked as Shulk's eyes glazed over.

Rockman barrel-rolled out of the way of a raging thundershock and grabbed a hold of Guts Man's feet. Heaving him upward he swung him throughout the air in a circular motion smashing him into his allies and giving Rockman some space.

Rockman let out a breath before throwing Guts Man up in the air and shooting him with his beam. Guts Man went flying over the Right's fence.

Okay, good. He was back in business. He just had to make sure he evenly spaced his opponents.

"Forget evenly spacing your opponents, Rockman! You need to help Samus-nee!" Shulk screamed at him.

Rockman deflected a fireball and roundhouse kicked Elec Man in the jaw. "Samus-nee can handle herself!"

"Dude! Bomb Man is scaling your house to drop a bomb down the chimney and kill your sister and father. Not to mention he's strapped a bunch of bombs on himself that he can detonate the minute Samus touches him."

"Hey! Don't give away my plan!" Bomb Man suddenly bellowed from atop the building.

"Oh Shit!" Rockman headbutted Fire Man before taking the dizzy man and hurling him into Cut Man.

"What do you want me to do about it! I can't deactivate bombs!"

"Yeah well, here's the problem, in every future I've seen, either your family blows up, or Samus blows up. Somebody gotta get bombed."

Rockman let out a frustrated sigh. "No! Find another future!"

"Calm down man, there is one. You blow up!"

Pac-Man swore he saw a cross-popping vein appear on Rockman's helmet.

"Explain, please." Rockman said curtly.

"I can't. I just know you have to take him down and blow up yourself."

"My life is shit. Utter shit. I can't have one happy day. My life is shit. I'd have to be crazy to blow myself up!" Rockman took Cut Man's face and connected it violently with his knee. He was pissed.

Rockman grabbed the unconscious Ice Man and dragged him over to Shulk and Pac-Man. Why he did so was a mystery. Perhaps as leverage against the other team.

Or maybe he was pissed.

"It's because I'm pissed."

Oh, okay.

"Shulk, I'm going to ask you to do something stupid. And I'm gonna have to ask Pac-Man to make sure you do it right."

Both men nodded as Rockman turned around and pointed to the back of his head.

"Shulk, you need to remove my sensibility chip."

"You have one of those?"

"Yep. I need to become an idiot. To lose all fear. If I do that, I won't fear helping Samus-nee or my family. I'll be a perfect soldier."

"Waku Waku. _(But you'll be dumb.)_"

"Yeah, I know. Can't be helped though. I'll just be like Shulk."

"Hey!" Shulk exclaimed not missing the insulting comment.

Rockman removed his helmet and to Shulk and Pac-Man's shock, opened up the back of his head like a box.

Both expected to see some type of wiry glowing brain. However ultimately Rockman's head was quite empty. A few chips and buttons glowing, a screen that constantly was flickering. Although fast Shulk could make out a few images. Some were of the Robot Masters, some were of Pac-Man, there was Samus-nee hugging him...

"Rockman's having dirty thoughts of Samus-nee!" Shulk squealed like a child seeing something bad.

Rockman's face turned scarlet and Shulk watched the pictures in his mind change into an indistinct flashing white. "I am not! Stop paying attention to those pictures! Pay attention to the chips!"

"Fine fine," Shulk leaned closer and examined multiple ones. "Which one is your sensibility chip?"

"The maroon chip."

"Maroon?" Shulk looked around until he found a chip in between what looked to be a green and orange one.

"Okay...here we go..." He gently grabbed the chip.

"Waku Waku! Waku Waku! _(Not that one, Shulk! That's Alizarin Red!)_

"What's the difference?"

"Well for one, that chip is my morality chip. Remove that and I lose all my morals."

"What happens then?" Shulk asked.

Rockman sighed. "I become a pyromaniac rapist bent on torturing every being in my sight and ending happiness across the land!"

Shulk stepped back and grabbed his hand to his chest.

Rockman laughed. "I'm just kidding! I actually just become a selfish jerk who eats everybody's food."

Shulk made a relieved sound. "Don't joke like that. I thought you were serious! Pac-Man, which chip do I pull?"

"Waku waku! Waku! _(The one between the auburn chip and teal chip!)_"

"What?" Shulk was even more confused.

"You heard him, Shulk! Pull it!"

"Why couldn't your father color code your chips simpler! Has this man heard of the primary colors? What the hell is auburn?! Why couldn't he just say orange?!"

"Just pull it Shulk!"

So Shulk pulled the maroon chip. Or at least what he thought was maroon.

Rockman's back snapped straight.

Pac-Man slowly moved backwards as Rockman's eyes flashed different colors.

"I...I suddenly want to eat ice cream in a blizzard!" Rockman shouted his eyes and suit turning a salmon pink.

"Wow..." Shulk jumped back as Rockman zipped forward and started jumping parkour style up his house.

"Waku Waku... _(I hope this was a good idea...)_"

Samus and Bomb Man were at a stalemate. Samus would have just shot him down if he wasn't so close to the Right household. He was packing enough explosives to blow this whole house sky high. Maybe if she could just...

Samus put her gun back into her holster.

"Alright, Bomb Man. You know you won't make it out alive if you try anything. So why don't you make the smart decision."

Bomb Man shook his head. "No can do, ma'am. Wily's orders."

Oh well. Samus wished she had worn her suit. Looked like she be losing a great deal of skin and possibly hair.

"SAMUS-NEE!" Rockman rocketed onto the roof and tackled Bomb Man down. It shocked the Robot Master so much he didn't bother detonating himself.

"SAMUS-NEE! If I help you can I get a reward kiss?! Can, I? Can I?!"

Samus blinked before answering. Bomb Man was having a hard time reaching his detonation button. Good. That was good.

"No you can not. Hold him still."

"Awwwwwwwwwww..." Rockman whined, holding Bomb Man's hands to the roof.

Samus charged her stun beam and shot Bomb Man with it, effectively paralyzing him. Without another word Samus kicked Rockman off of him and threw Bomb Man into the air.

Rockman's eyes widened as he realized what was going on. "Samus-nee! Don't!" Samus kicked her rocket boots on and jumped into the sky.

Samus grabbed the awakening Bomb Man and shot towards the sky.

Or she would have shot towards the sky, had Rockman not hit her with his mega buster first.

Samus dropped Bomb Man who was actively looking for his detonation button.

"Rocky, you idiot!" Samus shouted as Rockman leaped into the air and caught Bomb Man. In the next second a beam of light shot into the air.

"Freaking teleportation!" Samus yelled stomping her foot into the roof of the house. A loud explosion burst into the air. A wave of heat and power knocked Samus off of the building. Samus being as agile as she was positioned herself quickly and landed on her feet, her rocket boots slowing her descent.

Shulk and Pac-Man stared at the fiery red explosion with horrific interest. The rest of the Robot Masters were laid out. All covered in a thin layer of goo. With a shiver, Samus realized they must have ridden Pac-Man's oral ride.

But she wasn't interested in Pac-Man.

She walked straight up to Shulk and clocked him.

"Ow! What was that for?!" He said holding his burning ear.

"You told Rocky to save me, didn't you?"

"Well, yeah! You were going to blow up in all my visions!"

Samus face palmed and stepped on Shulk's foot. "Was I ever _dead_ in any of your visions?"

Shulk thought about that. "No."

Samus grabbed a fist full of Shulk's hair and slammed his face against the wall. "THEN I WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE!"

Samus let him go. "Rocky's my responsibility. I wanted him to stay out of it. Why didn't you just evacuate the Rights like a smart person would?!"

"Why am I getting all the blame. Pac-Man didn't evacuate no one!"

Pac-Man moved away from the bickering pair. "Waku Waku waku. _(Blame no one but yourself, Shulk.)_"

Wow Pac-Man, throwing Shulk under the bus.

"Why is everybody yelling," Roll said coming out of the household, broom in hand.

"Yeah, what's with the yelling," Rockman said coming out right after her.

Now Shulk thought Samus would be relieved to see he was safe and sound. He thought she would collapse on the ground in utter relief and embrace him. She didn't do any of that. She punted Rockman, like a football across the yard.

Also to his surprise, Rockman almost seemed to be smiling.

Roll let out a shriek and ran after the sailing boy. "Rock! Oh Rock! How could you! He saved you all!"

Samus carefully examined her boots for scuff marks before saying: "That was for him treating me like a damsel in distress. The second one will be for his stupidity.

Samus sprinted past Roll slamming her foot into Rockman's back and grinding the heel of her boot into him.

"Ah! Samus-nee! That hurts! That hurts so baaaaaaaaa~d!" Rockman cried. Trying to get up.

Roll ran at Samus and whacked her with the broom. "You leave him alone! He was only trying to help! I've already scolded him!"

Samus grabbed Roll's broom and flung her aside.

"It's okay, Roll. I deserve it..." Rock murmured into the ground.

"You do not deserve it!"

"YES HE DOES!" A shrill voice rang out rushing at the group with an ice pick.

Samus paused before kicking the shit out of Ice Man who flew into a pile with the rest of his friends.

"Geez, Samus-nee, I saw a tooth fly out of his mouth." Shulk observed.

"Didn't see, don't care."

"She-Demon..." Roll muttered.

Rockman got up woozily and adjusted his helmet. Shulk walked over to him. "Why aren't you dead?"

Rockman looked at him a little before answering. "I have like seventeen bodies, soon as one gets destroyed a new one wakes up. Real useful. Hurts like hell though."

"Oh..."

"YOU MAY HAVE DEFEATED MY ROBOT MASTERS BUT CAN YOU DEFEAT ME?" Dr. Wily's robot boomed. A small hovercraft fell popped out of the machine. Dr. Wily was in it.

"Dr. Wily! Give up now!" Rockman shouted at him.

Dr. Wily answered by shooting Rockman.

"Never, Rockman! I shall reach my goal!"

"Waku waku waku! _(Your goals are stupid!)_" Pac-Man exclaimed, annoyance in his voice.

Dr. Wily aimed his guns at Pac-Man. "Be silent you ugly yellow ball!" Dr. Wily charged his shot.

Samus jumped up onto Dr. Wily's ship to his surprise.

"Get off of my ship, woman! Can't you see I'm busy?!"

"Ignorant old man..." Samus grumbled punching the window of his ship out.

"Oh dear!" Dr. Wily cried as Samus pulled him out of his ship and slammed him on the ground. "Nice ship, I think I'll use it."

Rockman gleefully walked over to Dr. Wily and pointed his blaster at his face. "It's the end, Wily. Give up."

Dr. Wily up righted himself and simpered at Rockman. "You can not hurt me, Rockman. Remember! It is in your code!"

He's right about that...

Rockman lowered his blaster bitterly as Wily cackled.

"He can't hurt you, but I can." Samus said stamping onto Wily's ankle.

Everybody in the perimeter flinched at the sound that followed.

Samus grabbed Dr. Wily's face and smushed it into the dirt. Insults and angry comments flew from her mouth.

Rock and Roll cringed at the abuse Wily was given.

"Easy, Samus-nee. He's old. Leniency."

"Wasn't lenient to us."

"But, he's just a jealous old coot." Roll piped in quietly.

"Yeah. Exactly."

Rock and Roll had to look away, their pretty grass mired in red.

I guess it's about time to end the chapter.

"Aww, our screen time is over?" Shulk asked.

Yeah, sorry about that.

"Waku waku waku! _(Well, was fun while it lasted.)_"

"Tell Mario we say hi." Samus said.

Not his turn.

"Oh."

"Wait! We have something to tell you!" A voice suddenly cried.

Shulk jumped back to see Spark Man and Shadow Man beside him.

"Where the hell did you guys come for?!" Shulk yelled.

"Sorry, author couldn't find a better way..." Shadow Man said in a low tone.

"That's the second time!"

Won't happen again, probably...

"Anyway, we have something important to tell you!" Spark Man cried.

"Alright, what is it then?!" Roll asked.

"Well..." Both of them started.

A large explosion went off as the earth shook.

"Is that..." Roll looked at the shape forming from the ground.

Dr. Wily laughed underneath Samus' foot. "It's here~"

"My life is shit."


	19. Gaiden Red: Part 2

Chapter 18: Gaiden Red: Part 2

**A note about Wii Fit Trainer:...Expecting an actual information dump? Too bad! Waluigi Time! **

* * *

"I'm gonna run now, hold on to my hand carefully."

"Okay, what would happen if I let go?"

"Hah! You can't be serious...I don't really know. I'm pretty sure you'd fall into a strange dimension and I wouldn't be able to get you back. Please don't let go...I love you."

"...Stop messing around."

"Okay! Okay! I understand. Here we go!"

The two boys ran. Their feet picking up speed as the scenery blurred. Almost there, almost there. A few more steps and they could...

_**THUD!**_

Both boys blew up, their hair and clothes becoming charred.

"We...Bumped into something." The darker haired boy coughed, waiting for the smoke to clear.

"That's impossible. There was nothing there."

A tall insect-like creature loomed over them.

"Hello, gentlemen. Would you care to come with me."

The younger of the two boys began to shake.

"Po-Po-Po-PORKY!"

* * *

"It's so dank in here..." Wii Fit murmured, trying to avoid puddles.

"_It's the drainage system. What did you expect?" _Villager said in a biting tone.

"Please don't be that way, Mura-kun," Wii Fit said pleadingly. For the last twenty-four hours they had been wandering aimlessly throughout the town's drainage system looking for a way out. Wii Fit had a sneaking suspicion that at any moment Villager could lead them out if he finally calmed down.

"_I will be that way. I'm not that mad at you, Wii Fit. I just hate Mac."_

"What did I do?"

Villager stopped and stamped his foot. Water from a puddle splashed and stained one sock. _"You left Shizue! You made me leave Shizue!"_

Little Mac sighed. "That was her decision. A decision she made to protect us. To protect you."

"_Don't try that on me!"_

"I'm just telling the truth."

Tears welled up in Villager's eyes. Sitting on the cold damp floor he took a stick out of his pocket and poked the ground.

Wii Fit Trainer bent down to his level and patted him on the back.

"It's okay, Mura-kun. We're here."

Villager slapped her hand away and poked more aggressively at the ground. He was imagining that the ground was Little Mac's eye.

"You're imagining that's my eye, huh?" Little Mac said wearily.

Villager nodded.

Drops of water fell here and there on our heroes' clothes and hair. After falling down for what seemed like hours, the group landed on a pile of hay. Both Wii Fit and Little Mac commented that was weird. Turned out that such a setup had to be made in order for bones to not be broken after such a drastic fall.

"I wonder what happened with the other Villagers. For them to act that way...is so odd." Wii Fit shook her head.

"They were always crazy." Little Mac deadpanned.

"Mac!" Wii Fit exclaimed, glancing at Villager worriedly. Villager just continued to poke the ground.

"They were!"

Villager jumped up and flung his stick at Little Mac. _"You're a jerk! Stupid pasta eating Cannoli!"_

"Don't be racist just because you're mad. You don't even know if Shizue is dead! If you really believe in her! Believe she's alive!"

Villager blinked. For a full minute he just stared at Little Mac. _"You're right!"_ he suddenly cried in a cheerful tone! _"She's probably doing just fine! Probably beat George real good. Okay, I feel better."_

Villager's smile got brighter as he looked at his companions. His mood completely shifting after hearing Little Mac's words.

"What a bipolar attitude." Wii Fit said bemused. Nonetheless she was happy that Villager was happy again. He was best when at his happiest.

Much more sane at his happiest.

Little Mac let out a relieved sigh. A thought popped into his head.

"I just realized I won't have to marry any of those crazy girls..." He whispered to himself.

"_Oh no! You still have to marry them!"_ Villager suddenly said loudly.

"You cannot be serious! They tried to kill us!" Little Mac said in disbelief.

"_Yes they did. But I am certain they weren't themselves. Well, 'cept maybe George. Either way, after they serve jail time for their acts, the wedding will go according to plan."_

"Oh, you already have the wedding planned?! Is there room for one more bridesmaid! Is there, is there?!" Wii Fit asked excitedly.

As Villager nodded happily, Little Mac made a sound between a grumble and scream.

"This is ridiculous! You can't just plan a wedding without my permission!"

"Why can't he?" Wii Fit questioned.

Little Mac pulled at a loose string on his hoodie. "Because this is the now time. You know, arranged marriages are old fashioned. And uh, I refuse to have four wives."

"Four times the sex," Wii Fit said wiggling her eyebrows at him.

"I'm not having sex with them. They look like kids."

"_I heard Betty's really good~" _Villager hummed.

"No!"

"_Come on! You're never gonna get married unless someone helps you! You're awkward around women!" _

"I am not awkward around women!"

"Yes you are, Mac. It's cringe-worthy watching you ask Peach to pass the salt."

"_Remember when Rosetta asked you the time? Yeah, I do and it was not, 'Stix 'o box'."_

"I am not that bad!" Little Mac said, his voice taking on a higher pitch than usual.

Wii Fit smiled and wagged her finger. "Not that bad he says, not that bad."

Villager hung his head and moved in small awkward steps towards Wii Fit. _"Mac when a girl asks him to hand something to her." _Villager tittered holding out his hand shakily to Wii Fit.

Wii Fit dissolved into a fit of giggles. "You're right! That's so him!"

Little Mac gritted his teeth and cracked his knuckles.

"Oh, we're making him mad."

"_We wouldn't like him if he was angry..."_

"You're right, you wouldn't," Mac said suddenly grabbing Villager and flinging him three feet.

Villager did not scream. Because if you know Villager you know that guy doesn't scream. He sailed like a silent missile, hitting the ground and bouncing several times, finally stopping just short of water flowing out of the tunnel.

Wii Fit rushed over to Villager and scooped him up like a baby. "Mura-kun, are you alright?"

Villager nodded. _"No broken bones. I'm fine."_

Relieved, Wii Fit set him down and turned her attention towards Little Mac whose facial expression spoke more of boredom than guilt.

"Mac! You apologize to Mura-kun right now! You could have seriously injured him!"

Little Mac shrugged. "Eh."

Wii Fit puffed her cheeks out in an agitated manner. Then a thought came to her. "Apologize or when we finally get back with everyone, I'll tell Samus how much you missed her."

An audible gulp came from Little Mac.

"That thought scares you, doesn't it?"

"Well," Little Mac scratched his cheek. "In all honesty, terrifies is probably a better word. Only Rockman can deal with her abuse..."

"Well then, say you're sorry to Mura-kun."

"_I don't want him to say sorry! I want him to answer two important questions for me." _

"Alright, what is it?"

Villager stood up and held out a single finger.

"_One: How come your hoodie is pink?"_

"Out of all the things you could have asked me, why ask me something so simple?"

"_Because I wanna know." _Villager said in a whiny tone.

Mac sighed. A faraway look came across him while he reminisced. "It's a memento. A memento from my parents."

Both Wii Fit and Villager grew somber as Mac spoke of his dead parents. A subject he rarely touched upon.

"I, well the orphanage told me that this here was the only thing that was left of them. That my father used to wear this same tracksuit goin' out for jogs. Only reason he bought it in pink was because it was my Ma's favourite color. On cold nights I used to wrap myself up in this and hope I could catch his or my Ma's scent. Pretty sappy, huh?" Little Mac gave a sad smile at his team.

His team, who was teary eyed and blubbering slightly. Little Mac was taken aback.

Hey, that rhymes.

"T-That's so sad! I had n-n-no idea! Shame on the people who make fun of your tracksuit!" Wii Fit sobbed out hugging onto Villager.

"_You're a good son, Mac! A good son! I'm sure your parents are smiling down from heaven, proud of you!" _Villager whimpered out.

"...Youse two know that story was a complete lie, right?"

Wii Fit and Villager froze.

The calm of a frigid tundra, suddenly erupted like a volcano.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LIED! THAT'S TERRIBLE!" Wii Fit flared up grabbing Little Mac by his shirt and shaking him.

"_TERRIBLE! TERRIBLE! I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL! WHY DO YOU REALLY WEAR THAT PINK HOODIE THEN?!"_

Little Mac's words were shaky as Wii Fit's onslaught continued. "Doc...Louis...Did...It!"

"_How?!"_

"Lucky...Tracksuit...Used...To...Be...White! Doc...Threw...His...Red...Shirt...In...With...It! Been...Pink...Ever...Since!"

Wii Fit stopped shaking him and let him go. "That joke you played was horrible."

"Sorry," Little Mac gasped. "I didn' know you guys would believe it so easy. Second question, please."

Villager stopped kicking him and held out two fingers. _  
_

"_Second: How can you strip out of your shirt and pants in one full swoop?!"_

"That, that's easy. I jus' take them off in one motion."

"_Yeah but...How?"_

"Need a demonstration?"

Both Villager and Wii Fit nodded.

"Okay~ Here goes nothin'," Quicker than a blink Little Mac threw his tracksuit into the air.

Wii Fit caught it and handed it back to him. "Impressive. Still, how do you get it off so smoothly?"

"Maybe cuz I'm smooth?"

"Haha." Wii Fit smiled and removed a joint from her pocket. "Want a smoke?"

Little Mac grimaced. "No."

"Suit yourself~" Wii Fit lit up and sat down as Villager fiddled with his shirt.

"Whatta you doin'?"

"_Trying to take my clothes off with one motion." _

"It's not as easy as it looks." Little Mac said watching Villager somehow pull down his pants and lift his shirt up at the same time.

"_Help me, please..." _Villager said in a pleading tone.

"Alright, alright, I'll show ya."

Shouldn't you guys be figuring a way out of this underground tunnel?

"That can wait. The man asked me to show him somthin'." Little Mac put his tracksuit on for a second time. "Now, watch carefully."

Villager gave him his full attention, like a child preparing for a test.

Wii Fit let out a small applause as Little Mac flung his tracksuit in the air.

Villager clapped, then tried his hands at it.

Well his shirt came off, but his pants somehow found their way around his stomach. _"Oh bother!"_ he exclaimed trying to fix his pants.

"You want in on this, Wii Fit?" Mac asked putting his tracksuit on again.

"No, I'm good. Watching two young boys strip for me is enough."

"You aren't serious, are you...?" Little Mac asked backing away from her.

Wii Fit let out a light laugh and produced a pipe from nowhere. "I'm very serious. Please carry on or better yet, just leave your tracksuit off."

"It's too cold down here to do that! How you walk around in those yoga pants when the forecast is brick, I'll never know."

"Hmm," Wii Fit puffed on her pipe. "You have a low resistance to cold. You need iron."

Little Mac opened his mouth to say he didn't need nothing. Except maybe some sleep and a chocolate bar. But just as he was about to say that, Villager jubilantly exclaimed: _"Hey! I figured it out!"_

Villager waved his hands and jumped up and down. _"Watch! Watch!" _

This is not going to be good.

"What makes you say that," Wii Fit said.

Just a hunch. Plus I'm the author.

"Oh no." Wii Fit murmured.

Neither of Villager's teammates expected him to successfully accomplish the goal he set for himself. Imagine their shock when his shirt and shorts came off in one slick motion.

And imagine their shock when Villager's clothes fell into the rushing drainage pipe.

A look of blue horror covered Villager's face as he heard the faint splash.

"_I...I screwed up!" _He prepared to jump in after them but Wii Fit stopped him.

"That water's freezing cold. Just wait here." Wii Fit rolled up her pants and splashed into the water after his poor clothes.

Shivering Villager rubbed his arms for warmth and leaned on Little Mac.

"Tighty-whities..." Little Mac whispered to himself. Villager caught it.

Embarrassed and angry, Villager tried blocking his underwear from the world. _"Sorry I don't wear manly man underwear!" _

"No need to get so angry, I was just makin' an observation."

"_You're teasing me!" _

"Sorry. It's jus'," Little Mac let out a low whistle. "I don't think Toon Link even wears briefs anymore."

"_Toon Link doesn't wear underwear period!"_

"True. True. I don't think Link does either."

"I know I do~" Wii Fit sang trudging back up the waterway, dripping clothes in hand.

"_My clothes! Thank you, Wii Fit! That shirt is my favourite!" _Villager took his clothes back, a smile as bright as the sun illuminating his face.

Said smile, darkened.

"Did you jus' realize that you couldn't put your clothes back on?" Little Mac said.

Villager nodded.

"I'm in need of assistance as well..." Wii Fit said sheepishly. Even though she had pulled her pants up, a large gush of water soaked her to the skin. Her shirt clung to her body for dear life and her pants dripped.

"Mac, give me your hoodie."

"Wha?"

Wii Fit gave him a "You're so dumb look".

"You heard me, I can't stay like this, let me wear your hoodie!"

Little Mac sighed. "You shoulda made that runt go in after his own clothes."

Villager looked at him peevishly but said nothing.

Little Mac placed two fingers on his temple. "Alright, you can have my hoodie on one condition: You tie your hair up into pigtails"

"What?!" Wii Fit exasperatedly exclaimed, "You can't be serious!"

"What? I think my hoodie full of body heat for wearing your hair in pigtails is a good trade."

"But, but..." Wii Fit's mouth moved from side to side. "That's such a childish style! No woman my age should wear her hair that way! You're trying to embarrass me, aren't you?! This is about that time I stole all your tank tops and gave them to Samus to wear, isn't it?!"

"You're the reason she was wearing my shirts?! I blamed that on Koopa Jr. and Palutena!"

"I was high, okay? I'm sorry..."

Little Mac shivered. "How'd you get in my room anyways?"

Wii Fit shrugged. "Asked one of the Pits for the keys, can't remember which one."

Little Mac waited a moment. "Pigtails or no hoodie."

"But-"

"But nothin.!"

Wii Fit let out a disgusted noise. "Fine. Villager, you have anything? Ribbons or rubber bands?"

"_You know it, sister!" _Villager pulled out two slightly damp ribbons from his short's pocket and handed them to her.

Wii Fit sniffled. "I'll have you know, Mac, you're hurting a grown woman's pride."

"I feel less and less sorry for you the more time we're together."

"You are so harsh."

Wii Fit undid her ponytail and divided her hair into two parts. Tilting her head and lifting one half of her hair up, she carefully tied a ribbon around it. She then repeated the process on the other side.

"Happy?"

Little Mac answered by throwing his hoodie to her.

Smiling she made a twirling motion with her finger. "Okay, turn around. I don't need you guys watching me get dressed. Although this might be the only time Mac sees a woman in a state of undress!"

"That's..."

"_That's not true, Wii Fit! There's always the internet!"_

"I don't need your help, Villager!"

Villager and Little Mac turned away from Wii Fit.

"_Hey Mac?"_

"What?"

"_How come you wanted Wii Fit to wear pigtails?"_

"Well, cuz it's cute."

"_I like short hair myself." _

"Then I'm guessing none of the women in our household suit your taste?"

"_Well..."_

"Okay, you guys can turn around now."

Both boys turned around, examining Wii Fit in her new attire.

"Pink looks nice on you." Little Mac commented.

"Right? It does~" Wii Fit did a little twirl.

"_Wii Fit if you twirl like that, we can see your panties. The fact that Mac's hoodie was actually long enough to cover you is already amazing. Don't push your luck." _

Wii Fit immediately stopped. "Oops. I won't let that happen again. I guess it's just a good thing I remembered to wear underwear."

Little Mac blushed furiously at the thought but said nothing.

Villager poked his leg and looked at him imploringly. _"Mac, gimme your shirt."_

"What?! But then I won't have one!"

"_You still have pants. I'm freezing." _

"Give him your shirt, Mac."

"Ah come on!"

Villager made an obvious sniffling sound, his smile wobbling. _"I'm soooo cold. I might not make it another minute."_

Little Mac stared at Villager. And Villager stared at Little Mac.

With an angry groan Little Mac removed his tank top and gave it to Villager.

A wolf whistle emitted from Wii Fit's mouth. "One more layer! One more layer~!"

"Do not sexually harass me!"

"Oh calm down Mac! I'm just kidding. But seriously, you can remove your pants."

Little Mac was about to make an angry remark when Villager poked his leg. The small man looked particularly funny wearing the shirt more like a gown, having it drag on the floor.

"_That around your neck, Shizue's warp stone. Let me see it." _

Little Mac had forgotten he was wearing the small blue glowing stone. Villager held out his hand earnestly waiting for him to comply to his request. Little Mac had no qualms parting with the strange stone, it had started feeling hotter and he was worried it would burn him if he wore it much longer.

Villager examined it closely, shaking it and poking at it like a child.

"Careful, Mura-kun, you don't know what might happen."

"_I am being carefulllllahhh!" _Villager's sentence exploded into a high-pitched scream as the stone grew extremely bright and a low whirring sound emitted from it.

To their surprise, a small holographic image popped up.

"Hello? Shizue, are you there?!" A nasally voice spoke, just as an overly large eye came to the forefront.

"_Waluigi?" _Villager uttered, his tone unsure.

The giant eye shrank, becoming the face of Luigi's nemesis. "Wha? Is that you, Villager?"

Villager nodded. _"It's me." _

Waluigi pulled away further revealing a nicely decorated room in the background. Villager would know it was nicely decorated because he himself was a designer.

"Where's Shizue? She knows Waluigi don't like to wait. She was supposed to be here thirty minutes ago!"

Villager's smile failed a bit. _"She, she got caught up." _

Waluigi smacked his lips together in a displeased display. "Why did she give you her warp stone? That girl don't let no one touch it. Waluigi would know!"

"Because it was an emergency!" Wii Fit butted in.

Waluigi snapped his fingers. "Oh, you even have Ms. Casper around!"

"It's Wii Fit." Wii Fit Trainer said dryly.

"I'd like to be called Waluigi the Great, but that ain't happenin' either."

Wii Fit was about to make a biting comment when another face popped onto the display.

"Waluigi, are you talking to Shizue?" A young man with brown hair blinked at the screen. He was holding popcorn.

"Hey! You guys aren't Shizue!" The boy blurted out rudely.

"Prince Sablé ! You're there too!"

The young prince smiled widely. "But of course!" He held up the large bowl of popcorn. "I'm here to watch Netflix and chill, I think! Well, not just me. Quite a few other Assist Trophies have made their way to Waluigi's humble abode."

Waluigi shot daggers at Prince Sablé. "Did you call my place, 'humble'? You must need your eyes checked. Waluigi's place ain't humble!"

Prince Sablé's eyebrows went down in two angry lines. "My dear man, if you think this place is by any means opulent you need glasses! Why at my palace our carpets are pure ermine fur and our doorways carved by the finest artists!"

"Tacky. That's all that is. Waluigi's house has rustic charm!"

Prince Sablé was about to go into a rant about his country's wonderful taste when Wii Fit cut in.

"Popcorn is a healthy snack. Good choice gentlemen."

Waluigi rolled his eyes. "Waluigi knows what a healthy snack is. How do you think Waluigi keeps this figure."

Author here always assumed you were on drugs.

"Waluigi's body is all natural!"

"And this popcorn isn't healthy! We loaded it with salt and butter!" Prince Sablé added.

"_How are you guys all at Waluigi's house?!" _Villager finally asked.

Waluigi answered. "Because our warp stones get us places, that's why."

"_I thought it only worked if you were needed."_

"Define, 'needed'. Prince Sablé 'needed' to get his behind over here to watch the newest movie. I 'needed' Stafy to help me pop the popcorn. I '_needed' _Takamaru to bring salt. There are different types of need. Where assist trophies are needed, they go. Easy."

Villager's mouth dropped open. _"__You mean you could all be helping us right now?!"_

Waluigi shrugged. "Nobody's called us yet..." Prince Sablé nodded.

"Well, we could use help." Wii Fit said.

Waluigi sighed. "Can it wait until after Netflix?"

"Please, I haven't had this much fun in a long time. Princess Tiramisu has been on me lately."

"Prince Sablé is whipped!" A young voice said behind him.

"Shut up, Stafy! At least my sister doesn't run me!"

"There will be no fighting in Waluigi's household!"

"There will be no fighting if Stafy gets off your table!" Prince Sablé exclaimed.

Waluigi squawked. "Stafy, you're on Waluigi's table?! Get your stubby feet off it!"

Lo and behold Stafy was indeed on Waluigi's table. Villager and Wii Fit could see him perfectly in the background dancing like Michael Jackson.

"But I'm trying out dance moves!" Stafy whined.

"You know who the best dancer is in the room. Do not start anything." Waluigi said coolly.

"I recently learned how to dance like Magic Mike. Anyone wanna see?" Stafy said, ignoring Waluigi, shaking his hips.

"I will give you a thousand dollars if you'll be quiet and get down from the table!" Prince Sablé said pulling out an extravagant wallet.

"I want it in twenties!"

"Fine! Come and get it!" Prince Sablé started pulling out dollars and counting them.

Stafy jumped off the table and held out his stub-hand. Prince Sablé started handing him dollars.

"Make it rain! Make it rain!"

"My dear boy, it is not raining. And I cannot make the sky do so!"

"It's an expression, oh bother. At least I won't have to ask Kirby for money anytime soon. Hey hey, Villager, how is Kirby?"

"_I wouldn't know. We haven't been in touch for days!" _Villager almost seethed. It was hard to tell though, he was smiling.

"We get it. We get it. When the movie ends call Waluigi and he'll help you out."

"Giving us your warp stones would be most useful, then we could find our other friends and come up with a form of attack." Wii Fit said.

Waluigi rubbed his chin. "That won't work. While Waluigi could come and give you his warp stone, it would only teleport one of you guys safety. Assist Trophy warp stones are only meant to carry one person. There are two of you-"

"Three. Little Mac is here with us." Wii Fit cut in.

Little Mac who had been avoiding the hologram shyly waved to Waluigi and friends.

Waluigi's eyes narrowed.

"Mac! Mac and cheese! Macaroon... Waluigi didn't see you there." Waluigi hissed.

Little Mac let out an uncomfortable laugh. "Hello, Waluigi. How's it going?"

"Good. So glad such a big name like you would ask."

"Don't be that way, Waluigi." Little Mac said, his voice edging on annoyance.

Waluigi let out a bitter chuckle before turning to Stafy. "Hey look, Stafy! Big star Little Mac is here! Come say hello! Let him grace you with his presence."

Wii Fit and Villager both looked at Little Mac curiously. Little Mac was chewing his lower lip and cracking his knuckles in rhythm.

Stafy walked over to the hologram and poked it, causing it to waver. "Yellow, Mac! Can I borrow some money?"

"No."

"Mmkay. I wish you were still an assist trophy so we could hang more. I miss hanging with you."

"I do too, Stafy. It was fun being with you all."

"I can't share in the sentiments so I'm gonna start the movie." Prince Sablé sniffed leaving.

Waluigi grabbed Prince Sablé by the shoulder stopping him. "No, you should just stay here and listen. Let Waluigi tell you something. You should hear this too, Takamaru."

Takamaru popped his head into view.

"Hai...?"

"Okay, good the gang's all here. First: Mac, suck it." Waluigi did an inappropriate gesture that shall remain unnamed. However if you played Strikers you totally know what it is.

"Second: Don't talk to Waluigi. Waluigi been working hard. Waluigi works harder than anybody. Waluigi talented, Waluigi is handsome, Waluigi is the whole package."

"Waluigi-" Little Mac started. Waluigi cut him off.

"Third: Waluigi is popular. Okay? Waluigi in so many games it's ridiculous. The Western and Eastern fans love me. Win-Win. So tell me, why didn't Waluigi make it in?"

Little Mac opened his mouth to say something. Waluigi lifted his hand.

"No. Waluigi don't want to hear it. Waluigi still don't understand to this day why you got chosen over me. American Scrub. That's what you are. Waluigi is a Gucci purse. A real gem!"

Takamaru looked very confused and tried leaving but Waluigi stopped him and forced him to stay.

"Waluigi worked on his fighting skills. Waluigi filled out all the paperwork. Like a grown man! I didn't have my trainer do it! So when that wonderful gilded envelope was shipped to the Assist Trophy resident, Waluigi knew it was for him. But...But...It didn't have Waluigi's name. Instead, it had the name of some teenage wannabe who's still wet behind the ears! Did Waluigi feel disrespected? Yes. Waluigi feel betrayed? Yes. But you know the worst part?"

Our three heroes remained silent. Waluigi didn't need an answer to continue however.

"It was that you didn't even try. You said it to all of us! You could read the air in that room. People were hurt, jealous! And you acted like some dope who couldn't even figure out why Smash would want him. On top of that! You didn't even say goodbye to us!"

Little Mac finally burst. "I didn' know how! You all seemed so upset! What was I supposed to do? What should I have said?"

Waluigi sneered. "Goodbye."

And with that, the hologram went off.

Villager shook the warp stone. _"Waluigi?! Stafy?! Please don't hang up! Please we need help!"_

Wii Fit made a discontented sound, "It's my fault. I should have never opened my mouth."

Little Mac said nothing and buried his face in his knees.

Wii Fit patted Villager's shoulder. The young man was shaking. _"We needed help. We needed help and they hung up."_

"I'm sure Waluigi will call again."

"_He won't! He's too busy being angry and selfish!"_

"Maybe, Stafy or-"

"_Or nothing! Stafy's dingy! Prince Sablé's too busy with himself! And Takamaru can barely understand us! It's over for us."_

"Maybe the others will be successful." Wii Fit said, a hint of anger in her voice.

"_Doubt it." _Villager deadpanned.

"With that attitude nothing good will happen! You've barely tried and you're already throwing in the towel! I love you Mura-kun but this behavior disgusts me!"

"_Sorry my raw human emotion upsets you!" _

"We're all upset! Don't be such a child!" Wii Fit searched her pockets for a joint when she realized that she was wearing Little Mac's hoodie.

"Shit."

"Naw, it's my fault. Big screw-up here." Little Mac motioned towards himself. His voice muffled.

"It's not your fault Mac. Well, it is. A little. A lot. But it's not that bad."

"Gee, thanks. You make a guy feel great."

"Well, you offered yourself up."

"I didn' offer jack shi-"

A low whir came from the warp stone held in Villager's hands. Villager's eyes widened as the blue light grew bigger.

A faint voice could be heard coming from it. Static distorted it. Yet it was still intelligible.

"What the..." Little Mac and Wii Fit leaned over and stared at it with Villager.

"_Someone...Anyone..."_ The voice crackled.

"That voice sounds familiar..." Wii Fit mused.

"_Sounds like Detective Conan." _

"Who?" Little Mac asked confused.

"_Help me. Somebody, help me...I need help."_

And in a flash of blue light, our heroes were gone.

* * *

Author Note:

I just came to the realization that I can't answer reviews directly. Considering the fact that I frequent here regularly you think I'd know that. So I'd just like to give a reply to OGfanficwriter. Thanks a bunch sir/madam. Your review really made my day. I don't know if you are a regular or if I even have regulars, but seriously, thank you!

I feel as a whole I should do more detailed author notes. I like reading author notes when I follow a story. Then again I've read plenty without them. My family and I started Final Fantasy today. We barely got out of town and spent most of our time on Google Translate and trying to name the characters. We each got to pick a name. My name was the best name. :)


	20. Valentine's Day Extra

Author Note: Since Valentine's Day is on the way I decided to dedicate a chapter to it. Think of it as a simple side story. Next update we'll get to the main story again. The events of this chapter take place before the story's beginning. Please enjoy and review!

ʕ•͡ɛ•͡ʼʼʔ

* * *

Chapter 18.5: Valentine Extra.

Love was in the air. Or not really. Love shouldn't be in the air. It should be in people because love was sickeningly sweet. And it was especially sweet on Valentine's day. Mario would know, because he was one of those sweet people. And the day happened to be the 14th of February~

Valentine's Day, Singles Awareness Day, a money grabbing holiday. Call it what you will, but such a day was acknowledged by most and invoked feelings everywhere. Be that feeling saccharine or bitter.

Mario was feeling pretty good. Even though today wasn't technically an off day and fights were still ongoing, he had pulled some strings so that fighters would only fight during the day. Leaving their evenings free to date. He was a nice guy.

He was one of those fighters.

Oh, he couldn't wait! He had made reservations at a fancy shmancy restaurant for himself and the princess of Mushroom Kingdom. It had been sometime since he and the princess had alone time. And boy was he itching for some quality time.

"We can have dinner there, but I want to handle dessert. Is that alright with you, Mario?" Peach asked him sweetly when he told her of his plans.

Mario quickly agreed and dreamt of the things Peach would serve him for dessert. This thought even occupied his awake time as he made his usual rounds throughout the mansion.

"Hello, Yoshi!" Mario greeted the green dinosaur in passing. His old friend smiled at him. "Yoshi!" He replied cheerfully.

"Kouga, Gekk!" Mario suddenly heard a certain Pokemon greet from behind Yoshi.

"Oh, hey Gekkouga!" Mario said studying the water type. The ninja had his usual disposition but something was off about him today. Mario, being a smart guy, quickly deduced it. The frog seemed to be wearing a head decoration made of pink frilly flowers and mistletoe.

"Um...Gekkouga, what-a are you a-wearing on your head?"

Gekkouga stepped from behind Yoshi and bent down to Mario's height.

"Kouga, kouga, gekk!"

Mario didn't understand a word he said.

"Um..." Mario tried to find a way to tell Gekkouga this. Man he wished he would have learned Poke-speak back in the nineties!

"I gave it to him!" A youthful voice cried from behind Mario.

Mario let out a small yelp turning around quickly to come face to face with the voice.

Bright pink wings fluttered as Pit gave Mario a winning grin. "Heya, Mario! Happy Valentine's day!" Mario noted the angel seemed very excited. Like more than a few fighters he had chosen to wear fitting colors for the day. His usual white wings were dyed pink to match his outfit.

"I-a see. What for?" Mario asked.

Pit placed his hands on his hips in a feminine fashion. Something he had picked up from Palutena. "It's flowers from the garden and mistletoe left over from Christmas. It's for all the single fellows! I thought it would be cool if we wore them to see if the girls would kiss us. I've been quite lucky today!" At the last word the angel's grin grew wider, causing Mario to notice a few lipstick stains on his cheeks.

Mario chuckled. It was nice to be young. "How many ladies have kissed you today?"

Pit lifted his hands and started counting on his fingers. "Lady Palutena, Rosetta, Peach-"

Mario narrowed his eyes. "You've been kissing my girl?!"

Pit's eyes bucked. "I-I'm sorry...I didn't mean to...I mean..."

Mario chuckled. "Im-a just kidding, Pit. I'm more curious about why Gekkouga is wearing your contraption." He looked over at the frog who only gave him a shifty stare.

"Gekkouga..." He murmured slipping back into the shadows.

Pit tilted his head. "I did just give it to him. I don't know if actually wanted it. Blapi barely wanted his. I had to force it on his head."

Mario could imagine that. "Where is your brother anyway?"

Pit pointed behind himself to a shaded corner. "He's been watching from the shadows for a couple of minutes."

Mario jumped from shock as Black Pit slid into view. Like Pit he was wearing festive colors and had dyed his wings. Mario wondered if the doppelganger had to bleach his usually dark wings for the blood red coloring.

"I've been there for ten minutes actually. Not like anybody noticed," Black Pit said coolly.

"Hiding in the shadows won't make you popular," Mario told the boy.

Black Pit shrugged. "Like I give an eff."

Mario was a bit annoyed at his lack of respect but instead of voicing it said: "Happy Birthday, you two."

Pit's eyes lit up while Black Pit avoided eye contact. "Thank you, Mario! I thought you forgot!" Pit said graciously.

Mario scoffed. "Forgot?! Why do you two think you got the whole day off?! Mario never forgets!"

It was true. Mario didn't forget that type of stuff. Birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, Mario had a knack for remembering them. It also really helped that he kept records of all the Smash members' important data. While birthdays were kept private, most Smashers knew when one of their teammates was having a birthday based off of their behavior, schedule, and their friends' suddenly secretive conversations.

"Is Palutena baking you a cake?" Mario asked.

Pit gagged slightly. "Lady Palutena isn't allowed to cook. Not ever since that carrot incident. Or the tomato incident. Or the cucumber incident..."

Mario shuddered. He had been present for the last and everybody agreed the goddess was never allowed to cook in the household without supervision again.

"So, no cake?"

Pit shook his head. "No we still have cake! Blapi baked it! Blapi is an amazing chef! He's especially good wit- Ach!" Black Pit shoved his fist into Pit's stomach, eyes burning.

"Did I say you could tell my business? Idiot! It's not like I even made that cake for you! ...I don't even know why I have to share my birthday with you. So stupid..."

Pit groaned in pain and answered hoarsely. "Because it's much easier and you don't even know the day you were born..."

Black Pit prepared to deliver another blow when Little Mac walked into the room. Pit shouted for his help.

"Mac! Mac! Help me! Blapi is trying to kill me!"

Little Mac scratched his neck and surveyed the scene. "Black Pit, you couldn't save it for the ring?"

"Stay out of it, Rocky." Black Pit answered in a mocking tone.

"See you're wearing one of Pit's creations too, Mac," Mario observed while ignoring the fighting Pits and focusing on the boxer.

"Ah, that." Mac seemed a bit embarrassed. "Pit made me wear it."

Pit grappled with Black Pit adding in his own comment. "You're wearing it but you and Blapi are avoiding all the girls! What's the point?!"

"I don't want the girls to kiss me..." Mac mumbled.

"Me neither." Black Pit agreed.

Pit pursed his lip as he struggled for control in the fight."What type of guys are you? You get a chance to get smooches and you're avoiding them?! What's wrong with you? We're not Wario or Captain Falcon (Who for common knowledge were also wearing Pit's decorations) We're cute! And young! The girls are more than happy to oblige!"

Black Pit grasped Pit's hands harder and pushed him back. "That's the problem. All these women are happy to oblige. If anyone of them get their hands on me I'm gonna throw up."

Mario looked past the two boys and pointed. "Then you better get out of here, I see Palutena and she's looking pretty happy."

Mario never saw Black Pit and Mac move so fast. Pit wiped the sweat off his brow, a wave of relief washing over him. He started twisting his head looking for his goddess.

"Where is Lady Palutena?" Pit cupped his hands around his eyes looking for a blink of emerald.

Mario smiled. "Oh, I have no idea. Was just trying to break up your fight."

Pit saluted to Mario. "Thank you, Mario!" Mario nodded. "No problem, I need to continue my rounds."

Mario went on his merry way listening to Pit hum his victory theme as he left. Boy, were young people funny.

You realize you're like twenty-six, right?

"I don't feel it. Plus this is a flashback so no extra talking!"

Fine whatever...

Walking through the halls Mario gave a "Hello" to many a Smasher, noting how many boys were actually sporting mistletoe in their hair. Mario was quite amused as a dopey-looking Toon Link whisked past him, pink lipstick smudge on his face.

Mario stopped in the hall leading to the kitchen. A flat screen TV hung on the wall. The silver was glaring against the red walls. A match was going on between Samus and Luigi. Both competitors were on their last stock. Luigi was at a decent percentage while Samus was at a much higher one. It looked like if Samus didn't do something quickly she would lose.

And something she did do. Mario winced as he watched his brother get spiked by the bounty huntress.

"Mama mia...That had to-a hurt." He whispered to himself.

"Samus' spikes hurt like hell." A voice said near Mario. The voice was so familiar Mario didn't even look.

"I'm sure mine hurt more, Bowser."

The Koopa King blew fire from his nostrils. "I'm not going to even argue with you. I'm better than that."

"That's not what your mom said."

"Seriously, Mario?"

"Sorry. The newbies have been saying it."

The Koopa King nodded. "Hot date with Peach tonight?"

Mario grinned. "I won't know how hot it will be until later. Hoping it can match the heat of my finale."

For as long as Bowser yearned for Peach, he still had learned to speak casually with his enemy plumber about Mario's romantic relationship with the princess.

Made life easier.

Kirby pushed open the kitchen doors stopping the conversation between the old enemies. He had some chocolate on his face. Mario guessed it was from the Pits' birthday cake.

"Poyo!" Kirby said.

"Hey, Kirby. Do the Pits know you're-a eating their cake?"

Kirby gave a goofy guilty smile.

"Poyo!" Kirby adjusted his flower crown and tried to run from the scene of the crime. He bumped into someone before he got the chance.

The Zero suited Samus looked down at the pink puff ball. She was slightly damp from sweat. But her smile and eyes were glowing from the after effects of the win.

"Hey, Kirby," Samus said bending down to rub Kirby's head.

"Poyo~" Kirby giggled enjoying the attention.

"Nice match, Samus!" Bowser said giving a thumbs up.

"Yeah, the finishing blow was-a amazing!"

Samus continued petting Kirby. "Thanks. Didn't think I'd win it." She leaned over and gave Kirby a peck on his cheek. "That's what you were waiting for, right?"

Kirby only smiled before hurrying off.

Samus chuckled to herself. While her chuckle was lighthearted, Mario felt like a puppy had died somewhere.

"You boys have any plans tonight?" Samus asked casually. She started smoothing down her hair trying to make herself more presentable.

"Mr. Video Game himself does. I'll be spending time with the kids."

"Oh," was all Samus had to say.

"You have a date, Samus?"

"Yup, I have a date and I've got three sets of bouquets from three different guys too."

"Aren't you the lucky one." Bowser said, his voice dripping with fake praise.

Samus ignored it. "Eh, describe lucky. Getting flowers from Captain Falcon is hardly lucky when I've told him I wasn't interested several times."

"That guy never learns," Mario sighed. "Who's your date with anyway?"

Samus smirked before walking towards her room. Mario thought for a minute she wasn't going to answer his question. But before she was completely gone from his sight she looked over her shoulder and called out. "Pikachu!"

Mario and Bowser stayed quiet for a little bit.

Bowser spoke up first.

"Captain Falcon's losing to a rat."

"So is Snake."

"Rockman too."

"Must suck to be them."

"Amen, brother." Mario said giving Bower some knuckles. Mario turned away and went to finish his walkthrough.

Mario stopped to talk to a few Toads and Waddle Dees working around the house. One Toad in particular was in quite a daze. He was going to propose to his girlfriend tonight. The thought caused him to spill dirty water on the floor. His partner grumpily cleaned up after him.

Mario walked into the game room and waved to Meta Knight who was engaged in a game of chess with Reflet. Reflet had dyed his hair pink and was wearing his pink coat. He looked...fluffy. Meta Knight was looking just as bubble-gummy wearing his pink armor.

Lucina was watching the game intently. Based off Mario's knowledge Meta Knight was winning, however Reflet seemed very confident. Probably because Lucina was watching and he wanted to impress her. Because of this, Mario gave Reflet the overall edge.

"It's an intense match." A voice suddenly said behind him. That was the second time today. Mario didn't even want turn around and be scared. Instead he tried to guess that voice!

He couldn't.

"My daughter learned how to play chess from Reflet. If he loses, I'm sure he'll never hear the end of it," The voice had a smile.

There we go. Mario had it figured out.

"I didn't know you were visiting, Chrom."

Chrom rubbed his chin. "My daughter called me yesterday. She wanted to give me this." He took out a small valentine and showed it to Mario.

Mario looked it over. The card was lacy and cute, Lucina's regal handwriting adorning it.

Man was Lucina a daddy's girl.

"Checkmate." Reflet's confident voice uttered.

Meta Knight closed his eyes and bowed his head, erm body.

"Very well. You are a formidable opponent, Reflet," Meta Knight put out his hand to shake. Reflet took it happily and gave it a hardy shake.

"That was a most exciting match you two. Congratulations, Reflet," Lucina beamed.

Reflet preened from the compliment and murmured a word of thanks. Meta Knight nodded in acknowledgment.

"Good job, Reflet!" Chrom congratulated.

"Please. I will get embarrassed if too much praise is given to me," Reflet said rubbing the back of his head.

"He's right, father. Besides, do you have time to waste watching a chess match? Aren't you and mother to be spending time together tonight?" Lucina smiled warmly at her father, but Mario could see a bit of mischief in her eyes.

Chrom laughed and cleared his throat. "Alright, I get it. I'll leave. Watch out for my daughter, Reflet."

Reflet was about to respond when Lucina said: "Oh father, I can take care of myself!"

The blue haired swordsman only smiled at his daughter. "I know, I know. You have grown into a fine warrior. But that doesn't mean a little extra help would hurt," He turned to Reflet. "I trust this man more than anybody else in the world. I know he will always be loyal, and will always be there for you."

Reflet smiled at Chrom and Lucina. He wasn't you used to so much praise all at once. Mario could tell the boy would burst from joy if this was kept up.

"He's, he's, he's like the uncle you never had." Chrom finished. Reflet literally deflated. Like, Mario had to double take. He had never seen somebody's body cave in on itself like that before. The father-daughter pair didn't seem to notice.

"Oh, don't say that, father! Reflet isn't nearly old enough to be my uncle."

"I'm hardly old enough to be your father."

Lucina thought about that for a moment. "In the future you are."

"Then in the future Reflet is old enough to be your uncle."

Lucina couldn't argue with that logic. Reflet wished she could.

Chrom bowed to Mario. "Well, I shall be on my way. It was nice seeing you Mario, sir."

Mario smiled. He liked being called "Sir"

Chrom motioned towards his daughter. "Lucina, please show me the way out of here. Last time I tried getting out of this place alone I was trapped for days."

Lucina let out a little gasp. "Days?! Oh father! I'm so sorry. I had no idea, I feel so ashamed for not even knowing my father was missing," She took his hand gently. "I will make sure that never happens again. Follow me." She lead her father out of the room with a look of determination.

Chrome didn't have the heart to tell her he was just joking.

Mario turned back to the fraught Reflet and Meta Knight who had been silently observing the whole scene.

Meta Knight looked at Reflet carefully. He would be lying if he said he didn't feel a bit sorry for him in his predicament. But Meta Knight was not one to get into others' business. Still, he could offer advice.

"If it is meant to be, it will. If Lucina harbors feelings for you, she will find some way to convince Chrom." Meta Knight said in a low tone. Reflet gave him a weak smile.

Tugging off his Valentine headpiece he said: "Thank you. But that didn't make me feel better at all."

Meta Knight shut his eyes "I tried."

"That's all we can do." Mario said.

* * *

"Why am I wearing this again?" Mario overheard Nana complain to Popo.

Popo made let out an overly dramatic sigh. "I told you if you were lucky you'd see!" He then noticed the plumber and waved.

Nana did notice him but didn't bother waving and instead pulled at her headpiece. "This is so stupid. I don't know why I'm wearing this, I don't know why you're wearing it, Heck! I see half the house is wearing one of these! WHAT ARE THEY?!"

Popo gave an uneasy glance to Nana's outburst. If he let her stew much longer without reward...

"Hey Link!" Popo's voice had hints of desperation as he motioned for the passing long-eared boy.

Who wasn't an elf. Just saying. He's not.

"I sure am not! Nor am I Zelda! Anyhoo, how's it going, Popo?" Link wiggled his ears.

Mario watched amusedly as Nana stiffened and tried to focus her attention on anybody but Link. Popo motioned Link to lean over so he could whisper in his ear.

"Uh-huh...That? Yeah...Can do!" Link turned his face to Nana slapping Popo in the face with his ears.

"Happy Valentine's day, Nana!" He exclaimed giving her a big ole wet one on the cheek.

Nana went through three stages. She turned bright red, started seizing, then fell to the ground.

1...2...3

"OH MY GOD! I KILLED NANA!" Link screamed.

"I TOLD YOU TO DO IT! I'M AN ACCOMPLICE!" Popo screeched.

Chaos ensued as both males kept screaming, apologizing and rushing around for help. More than a few members came to see what all the hullaballoo was.

Lucario came in to see what was disturbing his meditation.

Pac-Man came in wearing a towel around his waist, fresh from the shower.

Duck Hunt came rushing in and kicked a few exploding cans around for good measure. One hit Ganondorf in the knee just as he was coming in.

"You son of a bitch!" He growled, Flame Gripping the dog and crushing him to the ground.

Duck Hunt quickly bounced back. Duck Hunt Dog attacked Ganondorf going for his ankles while Duck flapped in his face quacking indignantly.

"Hey, hey!" Mario said trying to break up the fight.

Ganondorf slammed Duck against the ground and kicked Duck Hunt Dog off of him. His fist glowed purple as he prepared to punch the dazed canine. "Stay out of this, plumber!" Ganondorf unleashed his punch.

Mario jumped in the middle of the three to prevent anything drastic. He heard a ringing laughter before feeling a burning pain erupt on his cheek.

Mario fell hard against the floor. Having his punch blocked by Jumpman only fueled the warlock's indignation. Ganondorf shot Duck Hunt a scathing glare, causing both animals to retreat towards Lucas who could only watch with large eyes as Ganondorf approached him.

Lucas squeaked and scooped up Duck Hunt before hiding behind Rosetta. Rosetta met the Gerudo King's gaze. "Leave the children alone," she warned, her voice more serious than usual. The Chikos sensed it too. One launched itself at Ganondorf.

Ganondorf grabbed it before it got the chance to touch him. "Annoying little ant," he said slamming it on the ground. The Chiko bounced off the floor and hit Marth square in the jaw, slapstick style. Marth stumbled backwards and bumped into Ike who fell over on Nana, to Popo's dismay.

Ganondorf motioned for Rosetta to move. "Give me the dog."

"No." Rosetta said. Link unsheathed his sword.

"Leave them alone, Ganondork!"

Oh boy, if Mario didn't do something soon, It would soon be Valentine's Day Massacre up in here. He groaned, raising himself up from the ground.

The ringing laughter was still resounding. Before Mario could do anything he had to find out where it was coming from. The laugh sounded both child-like and cruel. As if the person enjoyed the random acts of violence unfolding. Where was that laugh coming from?!

"Blapi stop laughing! This isn't funny! People are getting hurt!"

"Best birthday ever!"

Oh it was that little A-hole.

"Link please don't get injured! We have a movie to watch!" Mario heard Zelda cry to no avail as her boyfriend and his eternal enemy clashed.

Black Pit cracked his knuckles. "I need in on this..." With little start up, Black Pit did a flying kick at a poor unsuspecting Toon Link who immediately retaliated.

"Oh come on!" Mario exclaimed. "You all need to stop-a acting like this!" He tried prying Black Pit and Toon Link apart when he heard a giant crash to his left. People and things went flying as a shiny race car rammed into the wall.

"OOPS!" He heard Captain Falcon shout from the front seat.

Everyone in the room groaned.

Lizardon, hit the hardest by the vehicle, got up and let loose an almighty roar.

"OH BOY!" Captain Falcon yelled trying to unbuckle his seat belt. Lizardon rushed at him with a Flare Blitz, breaking the the front window of the car and shattering glass everywhere.

Mario had enough of this. He stepped back and readied his arm. Some people were about to get burnt...

A high pitched whistle broke through the air.

Mario let out a small whimper, pressing his hands to his ears to try and block out the horrible noise. He could see everyone else attempting the same. The Hylians in general looked especially pained. Ganondorf would have smirked had his ears not been bleeding too. To Lucas' horror, Duck Hunt dog fainted within seconds of hearing the awful noise.

After fifteen long seconds the whistle came to an end and was replaced with a crisp clap.

"Alright, alright. That seemed to snap everyone out of their blood lust," a pleasant voice said.

Mario turned to see the face to that voice. Standing near the open door, with Toads slightly behind her carrying a giant cake, was Princess Peach.

"It's-a Peach~!" Mario sang, forgetting his busted eardrums and waltzing over to her.

In a force of habit Peach offered her hand to Mario and watched him kiss her ring.

"It's-a me, Peach. I've brought cake and tea."

Pit who had previously been in a three-way brawl with his brother and Toon Link perked up. "Cake?!"

Peach nodded and smiled sweetly. "I remembered you telling me that Kirby had eaten your cake, so I baked another. It's chocolate. Oh and when Duck Hunt Dog wakes up, I made a little dog biscuit for him." Peach looked very proud of herself.

Zelda shot her an envious look. Suddenly feeling like the lesser princess.

"I still wanted to fight..." Black Pit grumbled. Palutena walked up behind him and gave him a swift smack on the butt.

"Stop being a child, Blapi! Be happy you get cake."

Even though the swat didn't hurt, Black Pit's ears reddened in frustration at the tiny punishment. Didn't help that Shulk was singing: "She touched your butt~" in the background.

The Toads brought out a folding table and placed the humongous cake on top of it. Peach handed Lucas the knife. "Slice that for me."

Lucas bobbed his head and muttered an almost inaudible, "Yes ma'am."

Looked like everything would be hunky-dory. Mario was glad. In the corner of his eye he could see Samus helping Captain Falcon out of his car and Pikachu scolding Lizardon. All was well~

Except...

"This isn't over! That mutt over there disrespected me! I demand retribution!" Ganondorf growled at Peach.

Peach put her hands firmly on her hips. "Don't be that way, Ganondorf. Today is a good day. Have some tea, I made it myself."

"I heard tea!" a gleeful voice shouted, zipping past Smashers and shoving Ganondorf out of the way. It was none other than Fox McCloud.

Falco snorted. "What are you Fox, some British broad?"

Fox waved off his partner's insult. "You've never had Peach's tea, Falco. You wouldn't understand."

"You haven't had tea until you've had Peach's." Zelda agreed.

Game &amp; Watch beeped to third that.

After hearing this Falco kinda wanted to try her tea, but his pride wouldn't let him.

Peach handed Fox a cup of tea then served Ganondorf. The Evil king still was steaming but accepted it.

In the background Shulk changed the song he was humming. Had Ganondorf recognized the tune like some of the younger and savvier Smashers, there would have been another fight. Let's just say the song was by Ludacris.

Mario relaxed as he watched the Toads serve cake. People sat in chairs, on dressers, on Captain Falcon's car or on each other's laps. (It would be a long time before he forgot Lucas' reaction to Ness sitting in his lap)

Palutena started in on "For He's a Jolly Good fellow" changed for this occasion to "For They Are Jolly Good fellows" Half the Smash house entered in on the second verse including Mario. Mario was sad to say...most of his teammates couldn't sing. He could of course, though don't you ever think otherwise. Although what really got to him was how deep and smooth Bowser's voice was. Mario thought he could have easily been a famous country singer.

Pit's face reddened with happiness and Black Pit did his best to pretend that nobody was singing and stuffed cake in his mouth.

After the song, Palutena being her usual self, tried getting Pit and Black Pit to feed each other cake. When that didn't work she tried getting them to feed _other_ young males cake. The victims being Toon Link, Lucas, Little Mac, and Marth who all politely declined, to Palutena's disappointment.

Nana woke up while cake was being served, happy to get a slice. Popo feared for his safety after the fiasco, but Nana's mood seemed positive. Her eyes in a faraway land. Her breath coming out in dreamy sighs.

Mario with his tea and cake, sat near Peach.

"How was your day, Mario?"

Mario chewed his cake thoughtfully. "It's-a been the usual."

Peach gave him a coquettish smile. "Usual?"

Mario let out a small laugh. "Well, I-a guess a little more exciting than, 'usual'."

Peach hummed a bit. "How's the cake?"

"Perfect, just like always."

Peach sighed. "I guess I'll have to figure out something different for dessert tonight. I don't think you'll want cake twice..."

Peach was wrong. Mario would_ totally _take cake twice. But he could also take-

"Why don't you just be his dessert!" Wario blurted out loudly. Pieces of cake and spittle flying. Shulk let out a wolf whistle at the Italian and the Princess following up Wario's inappropriate statement.

Peach gave a room-warming smile. "Maybe I will be. I guess I should pick out something nice then." Peach gave Wario a little wink before getting up.

"See you in a few hours, Mario~" Peach giggled skipping off. A few toads followed her.

Mario wiggled his eyebrows at Wario. "A-thank you, Wario!"

Wario stood still like a frozen turkey. Peach's reaction wasn't what he was looking for.

"Didn't go the way you expected, huh?" DK commented.

Wario started scratching his rump. "Piss off, monkey."

"I'm an ape."

"Yeah, so, I'm rich."

Mario grinned. Mario was rich too. Rich in happiness and rich in friends. In fact there was something that Mario was very rich in, richer than Wario. And what was that thing?

"Money. Because my games sell better."

* * *

Haha, I wished I could have added more Luigi, but for some reason I couldn't find a way of adding him without screwing something up. Oh well, poor Weegie.


	21. Hey, it's-a Mario!

Thanks for sticking around! I present to you chapter 19!

Review, enjoy, etc.

_φ(．．)

* * *

Chapter 19: Hey, it's-a Mario.

* * *

**A note about Daisy: Daisy, Princess of Sarasaland, is a strange ruler. Having the title of "princess" Daisy rarely acted as such. Often visiting friends and attempting daunting projects that left her poor father's heart in a tizzy. But even so, she was well loved throughout her homeland and Mushroom Kingdom. Her sporty and fun attitude almost made everyone forget she was supposed to be running a nation. Good thing she had her dad! **

* * *

Mario and Luigi were sitting in a room waiting for Kinopio to finish up preparations.

It's really good to see you guys are back.

Mario huffed. "Yeah. It's-a been like what, eleven chapters?"

What about the Valentine chapter?

"Wasn't really about me."

Then...

"It's been eleven, Nii-san. You got it right." Luigi answered.

"All-a those-a newbies got spotlight! While we were-a pushed into the background. I thought-a this fanfic was about me!"

It's a collective fanfic man. Everybody gets screen time. Even characters I don't like. Sigh...I'm gonna hate when so-and-so comes.

"Who?"

No names, Mario. No names.

Luigi wiggled in his seat. "Kino-kun sure is-a taking long."

"Probably-a adding sparkles to his car," Mario said.

"There are already sparkles on the seat. You bitches know my car be sparkling," Kinopio said coming into the waiting room. He had traded his blue vest for a sweet leather jacket. A pair of shiny ebony googles sat on his mushroom head. He was holding a pair of keys. Luigi noticed hanging on his key chain was a charm that looked strangely like Totoro.

"You two meatballs ready?"

Luigi nodded. "We're-a ready!"

Mario agreed. "Yep! We're-a ready! Let's-a get to-a Sarasaland and figure something out."

Mario, Luigi and Kinopio had decided that they would go to Sarasaland and get help from Princess Daisy. Mario divulged information that if they could get a few warp stones, they could find a way to get to their other teammates. Luigi was so happy to hear this and even happier to know he would see his girlfriend.

Kinopio was happy that they were going to leave. He already had to deal with hysterical Mushroom Kingdom residents. He didn't feel like indulging or babysitting the Mario brothers. Then he heard they would need him to drive them there.

Why?

"Because me and-a Luigi can't drive." Mario answered.

"How come you guys can't drive?! Grown men! Grown men who never learned to drive!" Kinopio pulled at his mushroom in fake agony. "Why did you never learn to drive?! I get Princess Peach! She's royalty! But you two are a bunch of frigging plumbers! How did you guys get to work?!"

Luigi answered in a small voice. Kinopio almost didn't hear him. "We-a took the bus."

Kinopio was disgusted. He slammed open the door and impatiently gestured at them. "Come on, let's go. Sarasaland is an eight-hour drive."

* * *

Mario looked out the window. Wind rustled through his mustache. He had called shotgun so Luigi sat in the back alone. Kinopio had his eyes on the road and was barely talking.

Road trip. Mario felt road trip was the worst way to describe this. An hour into the drive, Mario realized they could have just taken Peach's lush private plane rather than drive in Kinopio's cramped brightly-coloured car. He decided not to mention it.

"Kinopio, do you-a have any-a music? Please. Anything." Mario beseeched to the Toad.

Kinopio sighed and threw something in his lap.

"Go ahead and scroll through."

Mario picked up Kinopio's cell phone and began to scroll through his music.

"Terrible, terrible, terrible..." Mario muttered looking through the songs. Country pop? Dubstep? Why Kinopio, why? Didn't he have any Madonna? Any James Brown?

"Kinopio? Do you have-a any different music? None of this is good."

"Nii-san!" Luigi exclaimed. "Don't-a be so rude!"

Mario rolled his eyes. "I'm just-a being honest, Luigi."

Luigi, being the nicer more cowardly twin, did not like conflict. Trashing people's taste was a sure way to start fights. Kinopio snatched his phone back. With the expertise of a teenage girl, Kinopio scrolled through his songs and found his desired tune. All without looking.

Kinopio's speakers started bumping Beyonce.

"There." Kinopio said happily.

"Hey," Luigi said, "I kinda like this song."

Mario listened carefully. Luigi was right. The song wasn't half-bad. The lyrics were a bit unsavory, but at least the music was good.

So the ride became a little more enjoyable. Mario watched the scenery roll by. A feeling of homesickness welled up in his stomach. He loved Mushroom Kingdom. He realized he should visit more often.

He chuckled to himself. He was visiting now, albeit unwillingly. Maybe he should enjoy this time. This time. He looked over at Luigi.

"Hey, Luigi?"

"Yeah, Nii-san?"

Mario smiled. "I don't-a know, I just-a felt like calling you."

It was Luigi's turn to smile.

The car hit something large and bounced the Mario Bros.

"What the heck was-a that?!" Mario exclaimed. Kinopio stopped the car.

"Ah, I hit a Goomba." Kinopio observed calmly.

With shock and horror, the Mario Bros. looked behind the car at the victim.

It was bad. The Goomba was all crumbly and something dark and red was leaking from its wide maw.

"Mama mia..." Luigi breathed.

Mario hopped out of the car and ran towards the Goomba. Bending down near him, he took his pulse (which is harder than it looks) and was relieved to feel a small beating.

"He is-a alive! Quick, Kinopio! I need a first-aid kit!"

Kinopio grumbled and started searching for his first aid kit. Luigi prepared to get out when he heard a low whisper.

"It's just a stupid Goomba. They're a dime a dozen."

Luigi thought maybe he didn't hear that right. He was sure, Kino-kun would never say that.

Mario propped the Goomba's head up while Luigi fanned him. The Goomba was mumbling gibberish. His spiky teeth biting on his upper lip.

Kinopio found the first-aid kit along with a few other things, like speeding tickets and tissue paper.

"Heads up!" he exclaimed, tossing the first aid kit to Luigi. Luigi fumbled (but still managed to hang on to it). Proud of himself for not dropping it, he quickly handed it to Mario who opened it and went to work.

"Can you call an ambulance, Kino-kun?" Luigi asked. As a response Kinopio whipped out his cell phone with a Kawaii potato skin.

"On it."

Mario did the best he could do for the Goomba; applying bandages and stanching the bleeding on his right foot. All they could do now was wait.

The Goomba looked at Mario with hazy eyes. "Mario...?" He feebly breathed out.

Mario was taken aback. Talking was a good sign! Leaning close to the poor creature he said in a soothing tone. "Yes?"

The Goomba struggled a bit to lean closer, bringing his and Mario's faces mere inches from each other.

"Mario..." He breathed out once more.

"Yes?" Mario's eyebrows furrowed in worry. He was hoping this guy wasn't gonna start asking for his last rights. Maybe he wanted to tell Mario what to inform his family should he pass on.

"Put...Your ear closer..." The Goomba begged.

Mario obeyed his wish. The Goomba gave a small smile.

"Mario..." he whispered. "You stink."

…...Mario dropped the Goomba's head on the ground.

"You dumb mook!" Mario yelled at him before delivering a kick to his head.

Luigi let out a cry and Kinopio looked unimpressed.

Mario would later feel bad about his action. Later being when the ambulance arrived and asked how he sustained his injuries. The gang lied about finding him in such a state. A sympathetic paramedic commented on a large knot on the Goomba's head. "Poor thing..." She said strapping him in while her partner finished questioning the three.

So later, Mario felt bad. Later as they drove off to Sasaraland. And because Mario felt bad, he did what a lot of us do. He took a nap.

* * *

_Mario's vision was a bit hazy. The clinking of dinnerware had somehow grown stronger along with the chatter of his team. He felt a shake on his shoulder._

_"Nii-san? Nii-san you got to wake up. You're making a bad impression."_

_Mario looked at his younger brother whose eyes were filled with anxiety. Not very strange. Mario wiped a string of drool from his chin and looked up._

_He had forgotten. Today was the feast to welcome in rookies. Mario remembered now. Waiting and waiting for the selected individuals to arrive. Planning the dinner and having each single member introduce themselves and their talents, Mario was kinda beat. He wanted to sleep, not eat, if you could believe it._

_Luigi picked a piece of lint off of Mario's shoulder. "Nii-san, you can sleep after dinner. Try and finish your steak."_

_"My steak?"_

_Luigi sighed. "Nii-san, your steak. You know, the one you insisted on even though you need to watch your red meat consumption..." Luigi said the last part peevishly._

_On the other side of Mario he heard a giggle and felt a slight pinch on his arm._

_"Mario, come on. Dessert hasn't even been served yet." The wonderful voice of Princess Peach filled his ear, making it much easier to ignore his brother who had suddenly gone on a tandem about how Mario should watch what he eats._

_Mario stood up straight and looked around the table. Everyone seemed to be in high spirits. A new tournament had started. People wanted to try out new strategies, mingle, and most importantly: show off their moves._

_Mario stood up from the table, cutting off his brother's speech._

_"I need-a walk." Mario said before trudging off by himself._

_Walking down the hall Mario tried to remember what he was doing this morning. He wanted nothing more than to go back to bed and sleep. Maybe he could..._

_"Waku, waku waku! (Hey! Wait up, Mario!)" Mario heard Pac-Man cry from behind him. Mario turned around and stopped._

_Pac-Man ran up to him and gave him a thumbs up. "Waku waku! (I wanted to talk to you.)"_

_Mario tilted his head. "Yeah?" He looked over Pac-Man. He was happy to see him. He remembered the last time he had seen Pac-Man. It had been a few years. When he had heard that Pac-Man was joining the fray and moving into the Smash household, he was extremely happy. It was good to see him._

_"Waku waku. Waku waku. (It's really nice being here. But I'm a bit overwhelmed. There, there are so many of them. Some from series I've never even heard of...)" Pac-Man let out a hefty sigh and gave Mario a half smile._

_Mario could feel where he was coming from._

_"Yeah. I-a know what you-a mean. It's hard trying to keep up with everyone. I thought Melee was difficult."_

_Pac-Man leaned up against a wall. "Waku, waku waku. Waku waku. (Some of them were talking about 3-D cutscenes. Remember when you had one cutscene? In the beginning of the game. And that was barely a cutscene!)" Pac-Man laughed a little._

_Mario nodded and leaned with him. "What-a about when you didn't have to shove personality into everyone. People were just happy to play! Now if you don't crack jokes every two seconds, you-a are-a boring!"_

_Pac-Man laughed. Common knowledge is that Pac-Man's laugh sounds very similar to his usual speech pattern. However it tinkles like a bell at the end and vibrates his whole body._

_"Or, when graphics meant little and there were no cute girls. Waifus was never in your laifu," a voice spoke suddenly from across the hall. Mario and Pac-man jumped at the voice but calmed down upon recognizing the short figure._

_"Waku waku! (Rock! How's it going?)"_

_Rockman approached the duo. Mario noted how different he looked without his helmet. His brown hair still spiky despite wearing a helmet. Mario wondered if his hair was programmed to stick up no matter what._

_"Your-a waifu was Peach." Mario answered with a grin._

_Rockman nodded. "Or it was Zelda."_

_Pac-Man performed a small hop of happiness and wakued. "Waku waku! (Or Ms. Pac-Man!)"_

_The trio burst into laughter at that last statement. Their laughter reverberated through the hall. From the dining room Duck Hunt Dog heard the jolly sound and added in his own laugh. Although only his table mates heard it._

_Mario doubled over on his knees trying to catch his breath. Rockman and Pac-Man were still laughing uncontrollably. Pac-Man had fallen on his back and Rockman was hugging his stomach._

_Mario wiped a tear from his eye. "Yeah...You're-a right. How is Ms. Pac-Man, Pac-Man?"_

_"Waku waku. (She's good. Great even.)"_

_Rockman breathed in and held out his hand to Pac-Man. Pac-Man took it heaving himself up._

_"Those, those were-a the good ole days." Mario was a bit nostalgic. When he heard that Pac-Man and Rockman were joining, he was happy. Now that they were here, he wished they would have joined sooner. He had missed them. They understood a lot of what he was feeling._

_"Those days were simpler," Rockman said. "I miss those days."_

_Pac-Man shrugged. "Waku waku waku. (Can't stop time.)"_

_Rockman sighed. "I know. But I kinda miss being relevant."_

_"You're-a still relevant!" Mario exclaimed. Rockman gave him a bitter laugh._

_Pac-Man raised his eyebrows up at the end. "Waku waku waku.(Some of us can't keep putting out games.)"_

_"Don't you-a have an anime?" Mario asked._

_Pac-Man cringed and said nothing. Mario got it. So did Rockman. Link and Pit probably would know where they were coming from._

_"You know?" Mario looked at the two in front of him. "Smash Bros. Smash Bros. can-a easily make you relevant again. And if-a not, you will always be-a loved either way."_

_Pac-Man and Rockman stared at him for a second. Then snickered._

_"So...corny..." Rockman chuckled._

_Pac-Man did not agree, he did not nod. But his shining eyes gave away his amusement._

_Mario smiled a little. "Yeah. I-a know. But, it's-a true."_

_Pac-Man smiled. Well, he was already smiling, but he smiled wider. "Waku. (Yeah.)"_

_Rockman tilted his head and gave a cheeky smile. "Yeah."_

_Mario opened his mouth to say something else, when Luigi called him._

_"Nii-san! Nii-san?!"_

_Mario rolled his eyes and turned to look at his companions. They were nowhere to be seen._

_"Huh?"_

_"Nii-san?! Nii-san?!" Luigi's voice grew louder and vibrated._

_Mario looked around for him. He couldn't find him. He looked down the hallway._

_"Nii-san?! Nii-san?!"_

_Where..._

_Mario started shaking. His whole body quaked, his ears filled with the ringing sound of his younger brother's voice._

_"Nii-san!"_

* * *

Mario woke with a start, shooting upward from lying position and banging his head against Luigi's.

"Ouch!" Luigi groaned, holding his head.

"Wha, what-a happened?" Mario said, drool down his chin. He tried to force his blurry eyes open, taking in his surroundings.

"We're-a here," Luigi said. He motioned behind himself, displaying the desert before them. Kinopio's car was stopped right in front of Daisy's palace.

Kinopio was looking at him from the front seat. "You slept for seven hours. SEVEN HOURS MEATBALL!" Kinopio yelled. He was a little cranky from having to drive for said seven hours. Not to mention halfway through, gas stations disappeared. The last thing Kinopio ate was a mushroom doughnut. His legs were cramped and he had to pee. Hopefully Daisy could lead him to the bathroom quickly. His stomach cramps were very distracting.

Kinopio opened his car door and got out. Instead of walking, he ran bent over like an old man towards the castle.

Luigi opened the door for his drowsy brother and they followed.

Daisy's palace was impressive. Painted white and sunshine yellow, it matched the sand perfectly. Detailed floral designs were engraved in the walls. Palm trees lined the entrance like welcoming hands.

Mario sniffed the dry desert air. The smell of jasmine and lavender wafted across the trio. Low burning candles hung from the outside of the palace, guiding travelers.

Kinopio hobbled towards the castle his feet making a distinct sound as they hit the bridge leading up to the entrance. Mario and Luigi followed him. Mario looked below the bridge. Under it was a moat with several lazy crocodiles mucking about. One winked at Mario. He swore it did.

Kinopio banged on the gilded door with all his might. "The Mario. Brothers and Kinopio Joseph Toadsworth Mushroom need an emergency audience with Princess Daisy of Sarasaland immediately!"

Luigi flinched from Kinopio's strident voice and loud banging. Mario shrugged at his brother. Nothing they could do about it. Hopefully one of Daisy's subjects would hurry to answer.

Kinopio banged on the door for five more minutes before hissing a cuss word and kicking the door. Big mistake. Unlike Mario and Luigi, Kinopio didn't have leg to absorb the shock blow and instead the vibrations of the kick made its way to his bladder. Kinopio hunched over and stepped side to side.

"I'm going to piss on myself. I am a grown man who's going to piss on himself. All because of these meatballs."

"Pee in-a the bushes," said Mario helpfully.

Kinopio glared at him and said nothing.

Luigi looked up at the starry sky only to notice something out of the corner of his eyes. He moved his head to look at one of the tallest windows. In it, was a young woman about to jump out.

"Yahoooooo!" A familiar voice screamed before jumping out of the window. Arms outstretched, dress billowing around her legs, Daisy jumped from the window just as the front door was opened.

In the nick of time too. Kinopio was about to use their bushes.

Luigi ran towards the plummeting princess.

"DAISY!" He cried hands outstretched.

"Luigi!" The princess screamed falling into his arms, practically crushing the smaller man.

Mario watched his brother and princess hug tightly. Daisy poked his nose in an affectionate manner while Luigi spun her.

Watching Luigi spin Daisy caused a strange sensation in Mario's stomach.

He looked away and walked into the castle, following after Kinopio.

* * *

"It's been crazy! When the news hit, Sarasaland went haywire! My father has been trying to calm the masses. Me? I'm just trying to keep this palace from falling apart," Daisy took a sip of lemonade and let out a sigh.

"Where is-a your father right-a now?" Mario asked.

Daisy paused before answering. "He's talking with the people. Don't worry though, he brought bodyguards."

Daisy sounded more worried than Mario did, but whatever.

"I'm sorry Peach isn't here. I thought she'd be with you guys," Daisy said changing the subject.

Mario and Luigi nodded. They had hoped that perhaps Princess Peach had come here instead of her kingdom. Looks like those hopes were dashed.

Daisy royally waved her hand. Something that wouldn't be useful in real life. A few of her servants swept past and collected the plates the Mario. Bros and the princess used. Kinopio had chosen not to join them. He decided to rest in a guest room. Mario was a bit relieved. He didn't want to hear Kinopio's smart-aleck comments, always with his damn opinions.

"Thank you for helping us out, Daisy," Mario said.

Daisy laughed and waved off his comment. "No prob! You guys know I got your back!"

Luigi smiled at Daisy. "That's-a my girl!"

"That's my Luigi~" Daisy replied in a gooey tone.

Mario just wanted the audience to know that Luigi and Daisy were an extremely sappy couple. All they did when together was baby talk and snuggling. It made Mario wanna vomit a little. Mario and Peach kept their PTA on the down-low.

But hey, whatever floats their boat. Mario couldn't watch though. He got up from his chair and roamed the palace. Mario concocted up a plan. He and Luigi needed to get out of here. First, he would call Waluigi and ask for his warp stone. Then, he would ask Hammer Bro. or more accurately ask Hammer Bros. The Hammer Bro. Assist Trophy was made up of a whole family of Hammer Bros who took turns coming to the aid of fighters. Supposedly they had a system in which they appeared. But Mario knew whoever was called "It" had to come.

Mario walked to a room labeled "Entertainment" and opened the door. A large TV screen flickered, showing a romantic movie about two Koopas from different sides of the world.

Mario didn't bother watching as the male actor confessed his undying love. He walked over to the corner where a laptop sat.

Mario sat down and opened it to access world net. Hoping he could get information on what was happening to the rest of the world, his heart sank as he came to terms with the fact that the only websites he could access were stationed in Mushroom Kingdom.

"Mama mia...It's-a just that bad."

A low rumble shook the room. Mario ignored it. He kept typing away trying to get on any site. After clicking a strange link Mario ended up on a "dating site" for hot, lonely Toads. The pictures were enough to make him blush. Plus the computer said it was now infected with a virus...

A pebble hit the window Mario was sitting next to. He flinched a bit from the sound but continued typing away, trying to fix his mistake.

Until a giant rock smashed the glass open.

"WHAT THE?!" Mario jumped five feet in the air and fell on his butt.

Mario placed a hand on his chest and tried to catch his breath. The broken window highlighted angry shouting. Mario got up and walked cautiously to the window, peering out like a small child.

A mob of angry people holding pitchforks and fire torches encircled the palace.

A young woman in the audience looked up and pointed at him. "There he is! It's Mario!"

Mario sank to his knees. "Oh, fudge."

"Princess Daisy! Give us Mario! Give us Luigi!" A shrill voice yelled. Mario heard Princess Daisy's voice clearly. Considering the fact that they weren't even in the same room, Mario assumed she was using a speaker system.

"Citizens of Sarasaland! Cease and desist this shameful behavior!"

"Never! We know why our world is like this! It is their fault! They are the reason!"

Mario covered his mouth and tried breathing through his nose. Oh boy...

"How dare you! They have helped us through many bad times! How could you say that?!"

"It is true! We all know of what came forth from that dimension! How they cracked our world into pieces! The first time we were ignorant of it! Now we demand that the culprits be punished!"

Mario slowly crawled away from the window. The first time? Were they talking about Tabuu's first attack? That wasn't their fault!

"We have your father, Princess Daisy! We have our king!"

Mario heard a loud crash and the screaming of servants.

"You...You bluff," Daisy stammered out.

"If you do not believe us, we shall kill the king and take them by force then!" The main voice yelled. Mario heard numerous footsteps bombarding the palace.

"Set fire to to everything! Burn it down and find those meatballs!" A raspy voice screamed.

_Why do they insist on calling us that! _Mario thought angrily. He had to find Luigi, Kinopio, and Daisy. They had to get out of here!

Mario could care less about the king.

"You! You! Halt!" Mario heard someone yelled behind him. To his horror a few citizens had scaled the building and were tumbling into the broken window.

Mario scrambled up and pushed open the door.

"Luigi! Kinopio! Daisy?! Where-a are you?!" Mario shouted running through the halls. The sound of the the angry mob along with the terrified servants filled his ears. Not to mention three murderous people were hot on his trail. All screaming about his wrong doings that he didn't really do.

Will Mario and friends escape this dangerous situation? Will they figure out who is tainting the minds of Daisy's citizens? Will Mario ever eat pasta in peace again? Find out next time!

"Not next time. Nana and Popo are-a next, Author."

Oh yeah. Okay then!

Will Mario and friends escape this dangerous situation? Will they figure out who is tainting the minds of Daisy's citizens? Will Mario ever eat pasta in peace again? Find out sometime in the future!

* * *

Author Note:

Hey! Mario and Luigi are back! Happy to get back to the main six! Or rather the main six and their posse. However after I give each of the "Main" characters their chapters I think I'll become looser and switch between people frequently instead of going in a specific order. That being said Mario will always have a big part. I want to pay homage to Mr. Video Game! Plus he's a fun character to write, his accent is a pain though. Next we'll be getting some Ice Climbers and Ike!


End file.
